I was tested today

My Grandmother went into congestive heart failure today and let me tell you it shook my world. I am very close to my Grandmother and even though she is 91 I still expect her to live forever. My first thought after seeing her was to go and get drunk. Then I thought oh God I don't want to feel the hangover the next day. I just came back from the store and while I was in there I decided that I was going to pig out instead. First I went for the candy and then the chips, Slim Jim, ice cream, and anything else I could think of to make myself feel better. I looked at everything I had in my hands and thought I don't want any of this. I put everything back and bought a pack of smokes instead, like that made a big difference. However, I am pretty proud of myself that I didn't turn to food for comfort even though that was my first thought. I smoked a half of cig and it made me sick to my stomach. My heart still hurts for my Grandmother but I turned away from the comfort food and my old behavior that I would have done when in pain.

I don't know why I am sharing this, I guess I just need to see it for myself.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, my thoughts are with you during this hard time.  Congrats on not turning to the "comfort food" and having the strenght (?sp) to put it all back.  The cigs maybe not such a good idea either but the did make you feel sick so you now know that wasnt the way to go either.  I hope things get better for you, hang in there.
Michelle

I am proud of you for realizing your old behaviors weren't going to help you.  I hope your Grandmother get's through this and bet she would be proud of you too.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

You are doing a great job of making the right choices.  it's hard to learn new coping mechanisms, but you can do it!  Hopefully you will find healthy alternatives to deal with your feelings, whether it's crying, yelling, exercising, journaling... lots of things can help!

Of course, your OH family is here for venting!

Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers, and support.

My Grandmother flat lined yesterday but whatever they did to her jolted something. I went to see her last night and she looked so much better and her breathing was really good, she is an amazing woman. The doctors are amazed how well her mind is at her age and they couldn't get over her coming back after she flat lined, I just thank God she did.

The past few days have been very emotional and I can kick myself for even thinking of turning to food for comfort. I'm just glad I snapped back in line and didn't buy any of that junk. I have been coping by picking up my power walks and when I start feeling upset I go for another walk and it is helping a great deal.