Update on where I'm at/Looking for advice
hey all -
haven't posted in a while, not much new in the process until now...
so i have been going to the monthly meetings (at umass) and the feb meeting i left feeling so sure of myself, confident i was at the right hospital, right surgery (RNY) etc. the next day i had my nutrition appt and that went well also. then the next day i got together with a high school friend (who doesn't know i am considering surgery) and she told me about a lifelong friend/neighbor that died after his surgery. he was 49 and his daughter is 25- they made the decision to have it done together and he went first. not sure what the autopsy showed yet, thinking a leak? so i told my husband and like 2 days later we were talking he mentioned something about me being a hundred pounds lighter soon and and responded "i bet you are so excited to see what i will look like" and that is when he told me how he really felt. all along he has been supportive - he went on about how he loeves the way i am, that we have 3 very young kids to think about, that is a a big risk to take, that is is unnatural to have what what given to you rearranged, that i could have worse complications post op that i do now (high bp), that why don't i try counseling and see what got me to this weight and to keep it off. so he had a lot of points i understood. the next day i met with dr. lauretti (psyc) and told her all about it and when asked about my desire to have surgery i gave it an 8 out of 10. i took 1 point away for fear of the surgery itself and 1 away for complications due to surgery. i am a medical surgical nurse and i think i was really overthinking it all - i know most things go well...but when it is bad, it's really bad. so she wants me to see a counselor besides her, mentioned perhaps a support group for compulsive overeating (which i am 100% on board for) and meeting with her again in another month. i am glad i discussed my reservations and didn't just say what she wanted to hear to get to the next phase - of course i didn't love it at the time, but now feel better.
my husband feels bad that the process is on hold for a bit, but thinks it is better for us in the long run if we really really think about it all. now he is on board once again with "i will support you no matter what" argh...
i just wanted to vent, fill you in and see if there is any advice out there for me. anyone else go thru this?
thanks to you all. this is such a great board to "talk" with.
haven't posted in a while, not much new in the process until now...
so i have been going to the monthly meetings (at umass) and the feb meeting i left feeling so sure of myself, confident i was at the right hospital, right surgery (RNY) etc. the next day i had my nutrition appt and that went well also. then the next day i got together with a high school friend (who doesn't know i am considering surgery) and she told me about a lifelong friend/neighbor that died after his surgery. he was 49 and his daughter is 25- they made the decision to have it done together and he went first. not sure what the autopsy showed yet, thinking a leak? so i told my husband and like 2 days later we were talking he mentioned something about me being a hundred pounds lighter soon and and responded "i bet you are so excited to see what i will look like" and that is when he told me how he really felt. all along he has been supportive - he went on about how he loeves the way i am, that we have 3 very young kids to think about, that is a a big risk to take, that is is unnatural to have what what given to you rearranged, that i could have worse complications post op that i do now (high bp), that why don't i try counseling and see what got me to this weight and to keep it off. so he had a lot of points i understood. the next day i met with dr. lauretti (psyc) and told her all about it and when asked about my desire to have surgery i gave it an 8 out of 10. i took 1 point away for fear of the surgery itself and 1 away for complications due to surgery. i am a medical surgical nurse and i think i was really overthinking it all - i know most things go well...but when it is bad, it's really bad. so she wants me to see a counselor besides her, mentioned perhaps a support group for compulsive overeating (which i am 100% on board for) and meeting with her again in another month. i am glad i discussed my reservations and didn't just say what she wanted to hear to get to the next phase - of course i didn't love it at the time, but now feel better.
my husband feels bad that the process is on hold for a bit, but thinks it is better for us in the long run if we really really think about it all. now he is on board once again with "i will support you no matter what" argh...
i just wanted to vent, fill you in and see if there is any advice out there for me. anyone else go thru this?
thanks to you all. this is such a great board to "talk" with.
This is such a hard decision to make. For me I went three years ago and was not comfortable with it and I did not do it. Last year I came to point in my life that I felt it was worth the risk. You have to make up your own mind. It is surgery and any surgery has risks. In life there are always sad stories, I have heard of people dying in dentist offices, you have to think this thru if you feel you should give it one last chance and try to do it with help of counseling you should , that is what I did I gave it one last effort for me it did not work, but It was what I felt comfortable with. Good luck with your decision,, It is ok to have doubts you have to follow your heart, I know I did and when I finally did do it , it was the right time for me. I always hear people say they regrett not having done it sooner , for me I was not ready sooner. You will find your way.
You might be at the right hospital, right surgeon, right surgery...but maybe it's not the right time. I definitely think that counseling is a great idea. I was in counseling before i ever considered surgery, but I certainly spent a good amount of time tossing the idea around with my counselor before I decided for sure.
Just be careful... everyone knows someone who died, or it's a friend of a friend... and yes, complications and even fatalities arise. However, it's also important to recognize that morbid obesity will be a complication for ANY surgery... whether it's orthodontic work, or emergency surgery resulting from an accident.
Take your time, weigh the risks, follow your heart. You'll make the right decision for yourself!
Just be careful... everyone knows someone who died, or it's a friend of a friend... and yes, complications and even fatalities arise. However, it's also important to recognize that morbid obesity will be a complication for ANY surgery... whether it's orthodontic work, or emergency surgery resulting from an accident.
Take your time, weigh the risks, follow your heart. You'll make the right decision for yourself!
Read my blog, BARIATHLETE I run because I can.
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
I had the surgery on Friday and came home Sunday. On monday I found out that my college roommate died in a fire in her condo on Sunday night. We never know what is ahead of us. I spoke with her a few days before my surgery because she was worried about me and now she is the one who is not here.
I went to the MGH Weight center. I walked in there in July for my first appointments saying that I didn't want the surgery. I walked out saying this is the only way I was going to loose this weight. I went to MGH because of this PBS Documentary "Fat: What no one is telling you"
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/fat/video-ch_01.html
You can watch little segments. The most compelling one is number 7 about the gut. The best thing that MGH has done for me is they told me that it is not my fault. That I am not obese because I didn't try. They got it.
I have a therapist that I have been going to for about 5 years. You need to do this as well.
It is a very serious scary decision. I am only 4 days post op but I already feel that this was the right choice for me.
Good luck,
Liz
I went to the MGH Weight center. I walked in there in July for my first appointments saying that I didn't want the surgery. I walked out saying this is the only way I was going to loose this weight. I went to MGH because of this PBS Documentary "Fat: What no one is telling you"
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/fat/video-ch_01.html
You can watch little segments. The most compelling one is number 7 about the gut. The best thing that MGH has done for me is they told me that it is not my fault. That I am not obese because I didn't try. They got it.
I have a therapist that I have been going to for about 5 years. You need to do this as well.
It is a very serious scary decision. I am only 4 days post op but I already feel that this was the right choice for me.
Good luck,
Liz
It is such a hard decision --- there's no doubt that there a risks, some we may not even know about yet. If you're not sure, then waiting and counseling is the right way to go. I don't think any of us are 100 percent sure or confident going in -- I still wonder if there will be problems down the road. But for me, it was definately the right thing -- I am so healthy and happy right now!
Hi there..
I Just want to say.. if you go to RNY site for Friday.. you will read how I just lost a very dear friend of mine that day!! I am so upset and lost with out her! She was an everyday friend too and she was going to be my Angel and cheer leader for my surgery... All she did was go to bed and go to sleep! No Weight Loss Surgery!!!
So you see, you never know when your time is! She was only 54 years old too...She really needed this surgery too...I am going to her Funeral tomorrow morning... My heart is broken!! Hugs to you.. Alizka
I Just want to say.. if you go to RNY site for Friday.. you will read how I just lost a very dear friend of mine that day!! I am so upset and lost with out her! She was an everyday friend too and she was going to be my Angel and cheer leader for my surgery... All she did was go to bed and go to sleep! No Weight Loss Surgery!!!
So you see, you never know when your time is! She was only 54 years old too...She really needed this surgery too...I am going to her Funeral tomorrow morning... My heart is broken!! Hugs to you.. Alizka
1st goal to be under 200. Done! 2nd goal to be just obese. Third goal is to be under 170 by Thanksgiving 2009. I Pray I can make it. I know the Lord will help me through this.
hello everyone -
thanks so much for your support - i sure was freaking out! you are all right - this is not something to take lightly (pun intended?) and i need more time to mentally prepare. i have a few more bad habits to shake as well as find out what i am hungry for (oprah watchers will get that) i look forward to working with a therapist and figuring out those issues.
hugs and thanks!!!
thanks so much for your support - i sure was freaking out! you are all right - this is not something to take lightly (pun intended?) and i need more time to mentally prepare. i have a few more bad habits to shake as well as find out what i am hungry for (oprah watchers will get that) i look forward to working with a therapist and figuring out those issues.
hugs and thanks!!!
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