Were you afraid?
on 5/24/08 12:51 am, edited 5/24/08 1:03 am
Hi I have been on this forum for a while now reading through posts, etc. I wanted to ask you if you were afraid of setting a surgery date? I started looking into WLS in 2003. I started off by going to the new patient meeting at Beth Isreal. At that time my mother who was a nurse was so against gastric bypass, so I tried to sell her on the lap band...she wasn't having it. Anyways, My mother had cancer during that time I was looking into everything and has since passed away. Since her death in 2004 I have put WLS on the back burner and concentrated on raising my two kids, who are now 5 and 6 yrs old. Because I want to be healthier for myself and my family I started looking into and began the weightloss program at Tufts New England medical center in November 2007. I have completed the program, but chickened out as far as setting a date goes. I met with my surgeon Dr Shikora in January and talked about both the lap band and RYN (I was leaning more toward the lapband). I thought he would choose which would be best for me, but he said I qualify for both and so it was up to me. He said choose the one that I feel is the best for me and when I decide to make an appointment to come back and see him. In April I ran into a few health issues 1. I fell over a small latter and really hurt my back which I had surgery on in 2005. I was in alot of pain for a while there. 2. I was put on Birth control and while taking it noticed signs of high blood sugar (I had prediabetes). I tested my sugars and they where 255 I was horrified!! I have pcos which is like a prediabetic state and now is actual diabetes for me. 3. I had my annual physical and my EKG was abnormal. It showed left atrial enlargement and poor R wave progression and so I was scheduled for an echo. I had the echo, but have not gotten my results back yet On top of all of that I do have other medical issues. I have chronic asthma, sleep apnea and Gerd. I panicked after falling, my elevated blood sugars and EKG and called the surgeon and made an appointment for June 5th. I was so sure when I made the appointment that I was gonna tell him I changed my mind and want RYN. Since I made the appointment I have come off the BC pill and my blood sugars are good and I have been in Physical therapy for my back which is MUCH better. I am still waiting for the echo results, but know I am thinking maybe I can do this with the lap band?? I have until June 5th to straighten my head out You would think this would be a no brainer, right? It's not for me! I am so afraid of picking the wrong type of surgery or something going wrong during surgery that I literally feel paralized from fear!! Of course I would want the surgery that is the least invasive, but is that the right one for me? I am afaid that with the lap band I may still have to deal with diabetes, eating around the band and then of course worry about slippage, erosion, PB'ing and all the maintanance (fills). With the bypass I worry about dying from complications, the vitamin and mineral deficientcies, hypoglycemia, and losing my hair. I know that I would benefit immensely from losing weight. I guess my thought pattern is that I have all these health issues at 35 yrs old, I do not wanna add to them. I also find that I feel very angry with myself for needing weightloss surgery...why can't I do this on my own??? I got a friend to go through the program with me and she is having her RYN on Tuesday, I wish I had her courage and peace of mind! I did make an appointment to see a therapist, whom I will see on Tuesday and maybe she can shed some light on this for me. I know I need to make a change one way or another, because if I don't I am in BIG trouble with my health (I just don't want to put myself in the grave any sooner than need be, if I ran into that type of a complication from surgery). I guess what I am trying to ask is were you afraid and how did you let go of that fear and just go for it!?!? Sorry for rambling on any advise would be much appreciated! Thanks.
on 5/24/08 8:51 am
on 5/24/08 8:55 am
I have not had my surgery yet. I am nearing the end of my requirements, and of course I am nervous. It is human nature to be scared of the unknown. But I know that I want to get my life back, and that keeping this weight on is not healthy, We are at risk just being heavy. But I do know how you feel , it is like a roller coaster. One day you are ok with it and the next day you think , can I do this. so good luck to you