I AM CONFUSED AND BEWILDERED!!

Well my OH family I have to get this off my chest.  I am having a hard time.  I don't know where this all went wrong.  I am having trouble with eating.  I want to eat all the time.  I will give an example.  Yesterday I brought a 8 oz block of cream cheese to work.  My thoughts were when I have my hollowed out bagel I can already have the cream cheese so I don't have to buy it at the cafe.  Okay good thinking right?  Okay.  So I forgot the bagel.  I had some whole wheat bread and some smoked salmon so I thought for my snack I would toast the bread and have the cream cheese and lox.  Good snack.  Okay so I ate it.  Then an hour later I went for no reason and had two spoonfuls of cream cheese.  Not good.  An hour or so later I got some more.  As the day progressed by 2 pm I had consumed about 7 oz of the 8 oz block.  I took the whole thing and tossed it in the trash and threw the trash away.  Now I have been so complient with everything I am supposed to do why am I having these meltdowns?  I am truly confused and bewildered.  I called my surgeon's office and changed my appt with him from August to this month.  They doubled booked but they got me in.  I need help and anything you guys can say to help will be very much appreciated.  I don't want to be obese again.  I don't want to go back down that long lonesome road of depression.  I enjoy the way I feel and the way I feel about my life and the weight will just be another nail in the coffin.   Thanks for listening.  I appreciate your time-more than you know. Stephanie

Hi Stephanie, I know exactly how you feel and I am just as scared as you.  I am out 10 months now and I can eat SO MUCH more.  I find myself up to my old habits and eating more often.  I knew this was a big possibility but I never thought it would happen to me.  My weight loss has come to a screaching halt and I am not ready for it to stop.   I started exercising but I find myself sabataging it with food that isn't so great.  I also eat a lot at night and that is a big no-no too. Here is what Iwe need to do:  keep a food diary  make sure we are on the meal-snack-meal-snack-meal plan Up the protein and water intake The surgery will only get us so far and then we have to pick it up.  I also seem to remember being out about the same amount of time as you and thinking "I can tolerate that now so I will eat it all day".  I got over it but it came back and bit me.  It is still going to be a constant battle but hopefully we will have an advantage now.   Come back and let us know what your surgeon says.  And good luck! nicole

Thanks Nicole.  I am so glad (hate to say it) that I am not alone.  It is an addiction to food that I am fighting.  I know I love food and like they say in Overeaters Anoymous, "One bite is too much and 100 is not enough."  I should have never tried bagels and english muffins because once I tried them and they were okay, then I just went nuts.  One a day.  Weigh****chers Bagels but still carbs.  And Carbs lead to more carbs.  Now I am eating whole wheat bread, triscuits, wheat thins, stuff like that and trying to convince myself that they are healthy snacks.  Not true.  I just can eat a hand full-I wish. I will let you know what he does for me.  I will keep you posted.  And good luck to you too.  It's a good thing we have each other. Stephanie

I can't say that I can relate yet.... my surgery is set for May 18th, but I do know how it feels to have a bad day!  Leading up to my surgery, I am trying very hard to lose as much weight as possible.  Some days, I do great... I stick to my diet and do all my exercising.... then others I can't get in my exercises done, or I just can't feel full and my diet goes out the window. I think this is normal for all of us.  I know I try and just put those days behind me, it is just one day... and then I concentrate on getting back on track the next day.  I think we will all have slip ups, it is just important for us not to get into the habit, so think of how far you have come and decide that tomorrow will be a good day. Hope this helps. Sherri

Well my friend I wish I had a magic cure for this.  It's the demons we will fight for the rest of our lives.  As "The Man" would say he does surgery on your stomach not  your brain. I can truly relate to the self sabbatage(sp) I have no I idea why I sometimes do what I do, while I'm doing them I know it's not what  I really want to do. Maybe it's time for some counselng. Suzanne Pariente at 101 Main St Medford is really great with us post ops.  She has worked with several of Dr Randall's  post ops. All you can do forget about the past "bad" days and concentrate on today.....one day at a time one moment at a time.....if you need to talk you know where you can find me Good Luck with today....

Hi sorry you are havinga tough time. One thing you could do is go back to see your dietitian. Your meal pattern may be why you are  triggered to eat.

First off, your breakfast of bagel and cream cheese doesnt sound so good. You need some protein in the morning. Most of your pro is digested in your stomach which helps you feel full. Cream cheese is fat, and the bagel is carb. Carbs are usually digested in about two hours, so you feel hungry after eating them. the more processed or white the carb is, the more insulin it may trigger to release, which may make you more hungry. Try having a WW english muffin with laughing cow lite cheese, or WW toast and HB egg, or cottage cheese and fruit. I agree with the poster who said, meal/snack, etc. Any of the picking can lead to weight gain because by picking or grazing you arent using your pouch correctly. If you put a little bit of food in it, you wont feel full.

Definately keep a food record because you may be eating more cal dense foods. Counselling may also help because you may be picking at food as a coping mechanism.  Hopefully this makes sense. You should be eating all you protein, most of your veggies and a small amount of starch. Take care and good lucK Stellabella

Stephanie, One thing I would suggest is to try to get rid of the 'simple' carbs (easy for me to say) like bagels, bread, saltines, etc. they were always my downfall pre-op.  As long as I stuck to high protein, limited complex carbs, then I was able to control my cravings.  It was when I gave in to the 'only this time' thoughts that I started back down that slippery slope.  As the others have said, the surgery is just the beginning, the rest of our lives have to follow that committment. If you can't get to a support group, try OA meetings - they're dealing with the same addiction.  Dr. Hess's support group meets at Quincy Medical center on the 2nd Monday of the month at 6:30, so please join us! Hang in there, Laurie

Just so everyone knows I am not eating bagels and cream cheese every day for breakfast.  I will eat a bagel maybe 2 or possibly 3 times a week.  I have them with eggs and ham and cheese.  I hollow out the bagel so there is nothing left but the crust.  So that is the extent of my bagel eating.  I know though that carbs are carbs and no matter how you slice it, it is a trigger food and I need to stay away from them. Thanks for all the advice and support.  Food Journals I have done and have done nothing for me.  With 2 jobs and 5 kids it's just one more thing I have to do that produces no help to me.  I have done about 6 of them since surgery and I have found they tell me absolutly nothing to help my eating.   Thanks and God Bless Stepahnie

Hi Steph: This is something we will all have to face and battle the demon when it comes.  Sorry this is happening to you now but you know you can fight this demon with the help that's out there for you (Dr. Randall, Erika, support, your support friends).  One thing that you need to do is NOT have that much of what's tempting you around you.  If you know you're going to have a bagel at work, just bring enough of the cream cheese for that bagel.  That way, temptation is not there.  To much of a good thing can be bad for us and this is one of them.  I have some very small containers I can give you that you can put the cream cheese in so you can limit yourself. Right now for me, it's the co-work I have here in the office that has a large bag of chips which has always been my down fall with diets.  It's hard not to take a few and eat them.  While I know a couple would not hurt me but I know in my head that I'd want to eat the whole bag and would start on a trend I don't need.   It's hard for all of us that have families that are thin or do not have eating problems.   All I can say is get back to basics and use the items you like as a treat for yourself a few times a week.  I know you don't eat bagels, etc. every day but getting back to the basics and give you a jump start to get back on track. Hugs, Lorraine