UNSUPPORTIVE FAMILY MEMBERS

My sister has been very unsupportive even the first time I said I was going to have the operation (I had the Gastric Bypass).  She will not even speak about the operation.  The whole year before the operation if I brought up anything about it she would change the subject right away.  She didn't want to hear any details about it and just didn't care.   While I was in the hospital she called me a couple of times (at my mother's urging) to say hi but if I talked about the operation she would  change teh subject or just talk about her c-section she had 13 years ago. Now that I am home and have been home for about 4 days, she hasn't called me once to ask how I am doing, hasn't bothered to email me (and she was emailing me all the time before), nothing.  She lives about 5 minutes away in the same town.  Hasn't stopped by, even though she knows I have been home and am not going anywhere and could use a walking partner. My mother called her about 2 days ago and put me on the phone (I live with my husband and mother) and everytime I talked about the operation she all of a sudden started to talk to her son and didn't even say, "excuse me" or anything.  She still didn't ask how I'm feeling and didn't say one word about the operation at all like it doesn't exist. Then again, talked about her 13 year old c-section.  I had to hand the phone away because it hurt my feelings too much. My mother makes excuses like, "she's jealous" but I think it's plain out mean.  She is 38 years old! Does anyone else have a family member or friend who behaves strangely about their bypass?  Is this normal?  I am just so confused on the whole thing... 

Does your sister have a weight issue too?   The reason I ask this is because my very best friend has not really spoken to me in over 6 months.  It started the day I told her I was having surgery.  Since then, she makes all the excuses in the world to avoid being with me.  She and I were the same weight and she found comfort that she was not alone.  Now that I am 68lbs lighter, she can't handle it.   I have heard this happens a lot with friends and family and I think your Mom may be on to something when she says she is jealous.  Think about the last time you sat and listened to someone tell you that they lost 20,30,40 lbs.  Didn't you feel a little jealous?  I know I always did. My advice is to call her and address the issue.  The longer you wait, the longer the hurt sets in. GOOD LUCK, and WE LOVE YA Crystal

I totally agree with Crystal.  She is probably jealous, and you have to do this for you, not her.  Try to not let it bother you, it sounds like she has issues of her own to deal with.  You are doing the right thing.

Yes, My brother and his wife don't bring it up or didn't call, visit or even ask how I was after my surgery.  My sister told me to just do sit ups for  my sagging belly skin.  Oh, well, all i can say is thank God for this site.  i just think most people in general don't understand this unless they've researched like most of us have. You can choose your friends, but not your family.  Good Luck !!  It's all worth it, right? Nicole

Hi, I agree about the jealously if she is over weight, but if she is not, than maybe she is just like many people who are uneducated about the whole procedure and is just nervous for your health. Some people handle stressful situations different. In the comeing months she will notice your weight loss and see how good you are doing and see that this was a great choice for you and hopefully will be happy for you. Hope she comes around....We all need our sisters....... Most the time                                                                                     Shannon