Why does life have to be like a double edged sword?

Hello my online family. First can I say ouch I ripped half of my fingernail off last night moving my dishwasher!!! Ok for the real post. I just had a roller coaster day and needed to talk to someone about it. For starters my car battery went dead and so I had to call my mom to come get me and the girls. I brought her and the girls to her house and then set out for my half hour drive into work a half hour behind schedule. Ok, I know troublesome but not horrific. So I get to work and find myself under seige by red ants (all over my filing cabinet and desk.) My office is on a loading dock we converted to a supply room (only good thing about it is that I have the biggest window in the whole place)(at least that is what I keep telling myself)) anyway's I digress... I spend the day trying to stay awake and fighting off ants all the while telling myself that it is only for two and a half more weeks (10 days to be exact). Ok so I am about to leave when the phone rings being the wonderful employee that I am I of coarse answer it. THANK GOD I DID!!! It was the surgeons office. They would like to know if I can come in on Monday for Surgery!!! Ummmm no thinking even needed for that question YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!! So then it is just trying to get the pre op scheduled this week. Even that is going my way and they got me in at 2 on friday. Unfortunately another patient has some other health issues that needed to be addressed first and she wanted to switch with someone who had a later date believe me I am keeping her in my prayers. Mind you I am so psyched it isn't even funny, I am on the verge of tears (happy), pacing, shaking well you all know the symptoms. I make all kinds of phone calls to the company to let them know what is going on and opps by the way I will be out for the whole month starting on Friday. (they actually were already prepared that this might happen so it is ok) anyways one of my calls was to my father (we work for the same co.) he was supposed to drive me in on the 18th stay with me till I went under and then come back with my mom and the girls. Well he made me feel like I was trying to p**s him off because he had planned on taking the week of the 4th off to work on his yard for my daughters birthday party on the 15th (mind you they wanted the party at their house because of the pool). So I can understand that he has alot to do with building an addition to the deck (also planned ahead of time) he now is telling my mom that he is going to drop me off at the hospital and head back home to work on the yard. So now they just don't understand why I am in tears at the thought of going under alone, knowing that my family isn't there incase god forbid the worst should happen. Being the worrier that I am I of course now get to thinking how do they ever explain to the girls that they couldn't be there because papa was being a stubborn ole fool. I am so stressed out right now. I havn't cried like this in so long it isn't even funny. My mom (best friend) keapt telling me to calm down but she doesn't get that this is huge for me. I never do anything for myself and now I finally am doing something to give me my health back and I am feeling like I am just being a burden on everyone else. My father and I have always had our differences and god knows I seem to let him down more often than not but I really thought that this was going to be different and work for everyone. I don't even have a significant other to lean on right now. I am used to fending for me and my girls so why is this so hard for me to handle? I told my mom that I can't handle the hour or so ride to Boston with my dad being that way (would be a lecture the whole way up about how I am screwing up everyone's plans) and she gets that I can't stress out that day but man the thought of going thru this alone is scary. I might be checking the train schedule for that day if things don't change with him. What are the chances that if I drove myself in I would be able to drive myself home? Obviusely I couldn't take any pain meds till I was home. Has anyone else ever done that? I am really sorry that I am whining to all of you (I know that there are people with bigger problems than mine) but I just needed to get all this out. Thanks for listening, Hugs April

Hi April: You are not whining at all. This is major surgery and this is happening to you, not them. Give your dad a moment to digest everything and I'm sure he'll stay there with you. If all else fails, I will take you myself and stay there with you. I have Monday off as it's a holiday for me. So take a deep breath and go back to being all excited about this, because I sure am for you. You have a lot to get ready this week between pre op tests and getting ready for Monday. In my heart, I know your Dad will come around and not leave you there by yourself. Sometimes we just open our mouth before really thinking at times. And, btw, you would not be putting me out by helping you. That's what we're all suppose to do for one another. Hugs, Lorraine

April, Do you seriously think that you will even be allowed to drive home regardless of pain meds after having major surgery? THe answer is a big No!!!!!!. You wont even want to be a passenger in the car, never mind the driver, do you know it will hurt when you hit a bump or pot hole. Can your mom, other relative or friend drive you to the hospital? Unfortunately you're going under alone, you're an adult and they aren't going to let visitors in the OR. If your father feels this way do you honestly think that on such a big day he won't stress you out more and make you more nervous? In my experiences on a day of surgery sometimes the family isn't as helpful as you think they would be and it can make you more nervous. After surgery I honestly wasn't wanting visitors, the morphine kept me occupied and I really didn't have much to talk about. Although family support is nice to have, your success or failure is all on you. Just like becoming MO, nobody force fed you or didn't excercise for you. I'm app. 3 years post op and struggling with some weight regain/poor food choices/seeking to lose more weight, and now its all on me to do something about it. It may be time to confront Dad or make alternative travel plans. Best wishes Amy

Hi April, I didn't do it but I really thought about it. I don't have much family or friends to rely on so it was a concern for me too. My daughter ended up not being able to reschedule her root canal that day (my surgery was just on 6/26) so she and the boyfriend didn't take me in and stay with me like they were suppose to. I had a friend bring me and she stayed until I had to change into my gown. Being there by myself wasn't that bad but I'm used to doing things on my own. Getting home was interesting. The boyfriend was suppose to stay with my daughter while I was in the hospital (she doesn't drive) so she could visit and they would pick me up and bring me home. He left for home in NH after they visited me following my surgery. So then I went back and forth between my ex-husband and the friend who dropped me off trying to secure a ride. It ended up being my friend who held off her vacation plans for 2 days because of me. As always, the ex promised and then didn't deliver. But I wouldn't not have wanted to drive myself home and I only live 2 miles from the hospital. You said your ride is an hour. Plus it took an hour to find a pharmacy to fill my prescriptiion so by the time I got home, I was exhausted. And I don't think you are going to want to be on the T either. Even if your surgery is all laparscopic, you are going to very tender. Maybe your father is the kind of person who can't change pace that quickly. By Monday, he'll see the silliness of his thoughts and hopefully will be on board for you. Is he supportive of your decision? If not, he may be rebelling against it without even realizing what he's doing. I hope the ride situation works itself out for you, April. Good luck on Monday. I know it'll be perfect. Blessings, Kim

Hi April - sorry so late...I am going to pray for you and the situation right now. I DO hope it has already worked itself out. Either way, I will give you prayers and best wishes for a safe and easy recovery and that your family will be "THERE" for you all the way. { Okay, I just finished praying, it is 12:32 am (monday - YOUR day!} Please post to us when you feel up to it. Thank God for your great heart and desire to want to create a new healthy life for YOU! AMEN sandi

Hi April... I want to wish you well... when you are in pre op holding they are going to give you a sedative (such as valium) when you get your iv. This will calm you down and you will not really know or care who is around with you. As far as the driving goes don't even try it. you will not want to sit up straight and your surgeon will most likely not discharge you without someone physically there to drive you home. I am sorry for your struggles but there must be someone who can help. I agree that perhaps your dad is rebelling because he secretly doesn't want you to have surgery. I hope he will come around and see how selfish he is being. Best wishes! Hugs, Stef