Need encouragement- scared to death!

Hello everyone, I am contemplating surgery and have my first consultation coming up in June. Now that I have made my appointment my eating is totally out of control. I am craving and eating tons of fast food daily, more then I ever did before. I am diabetic & have high BP and am gaining weight still. I weigh 255 lbs. and am 5'1" - I have been obese all my life and have never known what's it's been like to be at a "normal" weight. I was teased as a child and haven't had much success socially with men- haven't had a date in so many years... I am sad & lonely and depressed and mad at the world. Is this normal? My thin friends & family can't relate to these feelings at all. If I have the surgery will I be ok because I am an emotional eater? I enjoy food so maybe I am starting to feel deprived knowing I can't eat junk food afterwards? Would love any words of encouragement as I am still undecided about surgery, and think the lapband is better *maybe easier, but can you still lose 100+ pounds?

Have you done all your homework on all your Bariatric Surgery Options? I went to a surgeon with the firm belief that the Lap Band was the only solution I would go with. When Dr. Randall (Lawrence Mem Hospital, Medford,MA) told me that because of how long I had been overweight (since 6 yrs old, I am 46 now) and the amount of weight I wanted to lose, that the lap band was out of the question. Once he broke down what I needed to do to lose the weight, I opted for the RNY and I am so glad I did. I am 3 months out and 58 lbs lighter. I feel great, and I am very excited for the next several months. I really think that you should do more research, and wherever you are going to have the surgery, participate in the support group meetings as early as possible. There is a support group meeting at the Lawrence Mem Hosp May 25 @ 6:30 . You are in Woburn so you could make that easy. There is a side for pre-op and a side for post-op. We discuss things with the sugeon and the nutrionist seperatly and then at the end, they open the wall and we talk together. Pre op patients can ask questions of the post-op patients and post-op can share what they have experienced. You should just try to go to a meeting and it might answer alot of you questions and you will be able to ask questions. Good Luck Stephanie

I agree with Stephanie, go to the support group meetings! You can learn so much. I had my surgery with Dr. Lautz at Brigham and Womens. I think he is great and what a change it has made for me. I had the lap RNY last August. I have lost 150 lbs. It is frustrating to admit you can't do it yourself. Remember this is about your health not being "normal weight". I have people ask me if I have reached goal.... Going by the standard, I have another 100 lbs to lose! I might not lose that much, but God I feel so much better now! I am going to Alaska next week and don't dread getting in the airplane seat. Like you I have been obese my whole life. Making the decision was one of the hardest things I have had to do. I went through phases before surgery of eating really well, then binging. It was hard, but you can do it!

Its okay Lorna! We are all scared at some point in the process. I am having surgery in less than 2 weeks! I'm having an RNY with Dr. Robinson (same hospital as Dr. Lautz) at Brigham and Women's hospital on 5/31. All I have to say is do ALOT of research about which type of Dr. you want. Also, make sure you have great post-op care too. I can tell you that the Brig is FABULOUS!!! I've been dealing with the nurses, PA's and Dr.'s at the Brig for about 6 months now, and they have been nothing but great! Good luck with whatever you decide! Just make an informed decision! If your'e thinking about going to the Brig, you're going to have to go to an info session that talks about the Lap-band vs. RNY. That might be able to help you out!

Hi Lorna, I started my weight loss journey at 253lbs and like you just got sick of being over weight. I went to the Lahey Clinic in Burlington and I had the lap Band done. I did alot of research, and like everyone elso attended many support meetings. I discussed my WLS options in length with my surgeon who does RNY, Lap Band, VBG etc. We agreed that the Band would be the right surgery for me. I spent one night in the hospital and was back to work in 4 days. I like that it's adjustable so if I plateau I just get a fill. It is typically a slower weight loss but I am now 20lbs away from goal (lost 85lbs). I feel great! My aunt and cousin, co-worker and good friend all had the RNY and did fabulous! Good luck on your consultation and research and keep us updated!! Karianne 4/08/04 253/170/150

Hi Lorna, I am scheduled for surgery on May 31st. I am having the RNY, mainly because it is a quicker weight loss and I have other medical factors that make me need it off now (o: But it is a good choice either way. The program at the New England Medical Center in Boston is great! The have a required 6 week behavior class that you need to finish before the surgery. and it really does make a difference. The will help you deal with the emotional eating. I strongly suggest finding some kind of program that addresses eating behaviors, because if you don't... you CAN AND WILL gain weight again after losing it. regardless of RNY or Lap band. I have seen it happen. The surgery is a tool, a very very good one. but a good program to understand and deal with eating disorders is needed to go along with it. the best of luck to you!!!!!! Hugs Trish

Hi Lorna, I am in the same boat as you. I am scheduled to meet with Dr. Lautz at the Brighams and after much research and the info meeting I have decided to go with the Lap Band it just seems like the right decision for me at this time. The decision you make has to be a very personal one and the one the is best for you. I have heard wonderful things about Gastric Bypass and it is proven that you lose your weight much faster. But being that I have 3 young children I can't take the bigger risk at this time of my life. So that is why I have chosen the Lap Band. Just be sure to research both and make a decision based on what works best for you. I wish you all the best in what ever decision you make. No matter which procedure you go with a year from now you will look wonderful!!!! Kellie

Whatever operation you decide I recommend lap-band it is only a tool it restricks your food intake but not your head hunger or emotiional hunger so you have to be ready to work hard and do basically what we've been told all our lives exercise,don't eat between meals,eat smaller portions etc. Unless your ready to do that then it will be harder to do and the surgery just makes it easier to lose weigh. The band is less restrictive and easier to cheat on because of no dumping syndrome etc. But after a year to 18 months all is equal band and gastric. Good luck

Thank you to all who answered- I am learning very fast that when someone is struggling with issues, there are so many wonderful people who don't hesitate to offer support! You are all correct- I have not done my proper research yet- there are many well-qualified surgeons in the area that are doing wonders with this surgery, I think I chose Dr. Ameri on a whim as he is very close to where I live. I will investigate the others as well, & see if my insurance will cover them. I have heard it before that people can and sometimes do gain all of their weight back regardless of whether they have the bypass or lapband. Is it harder for someone who has been obese all their life to do well with surgery or is it "easier" for people who weighed 130-150 for much of their adult life then gained weight after having kids or going through menopause, etc. I will ask this at my next meeting I go to as well. Also, have any of you had the surgery after menopause? Do you lose weight more slowly with bypass surgery because of the hormonal changes, etc? Again, thank you for your help. I think I did think the lapband was better because of the less extensive surgery and the fact that you don't go through dumping syndrome. I have a very sweet tooth & eat tons of carbs and that is part of the reason I am so scared. Can I really do this? Maybe it is my time to step out into life and claim a sunny spot... life may very well begin after the surgery... congrats to all of you and your success- hope to meet some of you in person sometime!! You made me feel like I am not going crazy, that some people do binge when they seriously consider the surgery... someone told me they heard it called "Last Supper Syndrome?" Because of everything you will have to give up afterwards... :o)

This info could help you get more info: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/LapBand/postdetail/341894.html?vc=0 Good luck, Mira