To Obesity Help

 

Dear Obesity Help,   "I'm getting mixed signals here. This is a "support" forum, yet so many that are trying to support those with band complications and warn those not yet banded, are being attacked, then moderated here, as are members that are posting about their own complications.   Also I am not quite understanding OH's position on banding? You have Doctors posting singing it's praises, and yet the Drs. that you have presenting at your conferences all speak negatively about the lapbands.  Exactly what is your position on this issue?"   Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.   Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,

Any members that are moderated are due to violations of our Terms of Service only.  Surgical procedures of members are not part of any removals or moderations. We encourage members to post regarding their experiences, concerns and complications so they can obtain the support from other members. 

ObesityHelp doesn't have a "position" on any surgical procedure.  The choice of which procedure a member chooses is a personal decision based on their medical history and what is best for them.  We support members regardless of what procedure they choose and any complications, successes and challenges they have. 

For the selection of event speakers for our 2013 Conference, OH requested members to submit their suggestions for speakers.  From the requests of members, we selected the speakers based on what members wanted.

If you'd like to speak with us, please let us know at [email protected].  We'd be happy to talk with you or any members!  :)

Thanks!!
Member Services Team

 

~~Any members that are moderated are due to violations of our Terms of Service only~~

No, that really isn't true.

For example, someone came here insulting everyone because only people with a history of band problems were posting and then she ended her insult with 'Miss you!".  I responded saying basically... what the heck?  You come here, insult us and then tell us how much you miss us?

You left her post and removed mine.

Another example, a bariatric surgeon came here, he was ANYTHING but supportive.  He blamed all of us for pretty much being too stupid to know what to do with a 2oz piece of silicone.  He told those he didn't like to go away, post somewhere else, and was beyond rude.  That is against your TOS but his posts stayed.  Those *****sponded in kind - they were deleted.  Many of us reported his posts, we openly complained about it on the boards as well and we were ignored.

If I put "MD" behind my name can I too, post anything I wish?

I realize your job is hard.  I get that!  And I realize you have more than one person moderating posts.  There are personality conflicts, potential advertisers involved.  But isn't it fair to request that if you are going to enforce your TOS you do so even handedly?  Is that really too much to ask?

I am very glad to read your post. I used to come here, daily (no hourly) when I was first banded 3.5 years ago. It was a tremendous support and I literally could not have done it without the kindness of people answering my silly questions and sending smiles on hard days.

After 6 months or so, I was off to living my life and stopped coming on as much. Whenever I returned all I found were super hateful posts slamming me and others for my poor choice in surgery. If I came asking about a potential problem I was yelled at, and likewise if I was excited about progress, I was told I was either lying or that I just needed to wait until failure happened for me. I left this site practically in tears more than once.

I am 3.5 years out with no real complications to speak of... I have no idea if my band will fail--it might! But why am I made to feel like I should be ashamed of the happiness and success I have had, in the meantime?

I sincerely feel for the people who have had troubles and the doctors who are trying to give their best advice, but I wish there was a way that OH could moderate a balance and bring this site back to a "support forum". I would be so much more likely to come back, regularly, if it was.

 

While this is true there is still another side to that story.

Most of the people that come here to slam dunk someone for merely having a band have been deactivated.  But those who post stats and studies - they are not band bashing and they are not slam dunking someone for having a band.  When a couple of people who were previous bandsters were slamming someone for band issues.... even those who post stats and studies (vs. band bashers) jumped on those people and defended those being insulted.  People forget about that.

Posting stats and studies isn't band bashing.  Slam dunking you for having a band is band bashing and insulting.  The stats posters defend those with bands against any of that behavior from what I have seen.

Oh I agree, completely, and since I never come here anymore, I trust you that OH has been better about blocking people who are just bashing than they were a few years ago...

I would never ask that a support forum just hand out sunshine and rainbows, and not give real facts, but it was definitely lopsided for a long time. I

am shocked to see how few people are posting, now, and can't help but think that others like me felt they were not welcomed and never came back. There was a time when I could refresh every 10 minutes and see 3-4 new posts--from the looks of it, I don't see that in an entire day, anymore :(

 

To be honest every vet I know with the exception of 3-4 have had revisions and are posting on their new surgery type boards on OH, F/B, private groups, etc.  I mean, there just aren't many vets that still have a band. :(

I am 3.5 years out with no real complications to speak of... I have no idea if my band will fail--it might! But why am I made to feel like I should be ashamed of the happiness and success I have had, in the meantime?



You should be celebrating your success! No one has anything to be ashamed of, regardless of surgery choice. None of us who are having complications want to make you or anyone else to feel that way or invalidate your good fortune and hard work. We do, however, feel OBLIGATED to communicate the damage our bands have caused us, to create awareness, increase the knowledge pool and work towards making esophageal testing mandatory. This is serious business and its not something we're willing to walk away from.



I sincerely feel for the people who have had troubles and the doctors who are trying to give their best advice, but I wish there was a way that OH could moderate a balance and bring this site back to a "support forum". I would be so much more likely to come back, regularly, if it was.



This site has great resources for doing research. It's poorly moderated because as idb said, it's not even handed. I was put on moderation once for posting a name. That's silly. Support isn't just for those who are off living their happy banded life, those of us suffering (and I do mean suffering) with their quality of life permanently altered because of this device, need support as well. We need a place to share our experiences, forewarn those in the research process and communicate what this device is capable of doing. The Hippocrates Oath states "First do no Harm". By implanting the device, without proper testing, without regard for the patients chance of a second surgery to remove, replace or repair of 50%, harm is most certainly being done.



One person told me, "I'd rather take the odds of 50% band failure, than 100% failure to lose on my own." That's the sad truth about our peers, we're desperate to lose, at any cost. Unfortunately, the cost to me of this "least invasive, no altering of internal organs" device is the function of my esophagus and potentially my esophagus.

Edited to add last two words.

You know what I find disheartening? All of the people who claim that they have the utmost empathy for those of us who have had complications... and yet, they complain how it's not a "support" forum because they are "forced" to hear about all the complications.  They just can't find it within themselves to even come here because of all the "negativity."  That's not empathetic. It's not even sympathetic.  

Also, it's an INTERNET message board where you can post anything you want... and you can make the forum positive by posting positively. Instead, people only come to post when there's some sort of discord and drama.  I post here because I HATE the band and what it's done to people.  My sole reason for posting is to try to help one person avoid that fate, if I can.  If a person LOVES the band, they're welcome to post, as well... because it's an INTERNET message board.  If a person is happy with their decision, nothing any stranger can say should thwart that happiness.

 

This is not directed to any one person. It's just an observation and an opinion.

Oh sad... I really didn't come here to get into yet another band argument, but let me just say that I am really, really, really not trying to limit your free speech or dupe people into a surgery that is not right for them! 

It was just hard when I would wake up feeling down on myself because I tried to eat breakfast and threw up, looking for some love on the internet (because my family didn't understand) to be constantly told I should run to the doctor and have it removed! That simply hasn't been my reality and it was painful to be directly targeted by people who seemed to have an agenda for my healthcare who hadn't met me and didn't even ask any questions.

I know that from your perspective you are trying to help--I really do. If this had happened to me, I can only imagine that I would want to scream out my frustrations to the world! All I am saying is that maybe there can be a balance??