Have I utterly failed?

I was banded back in February almost three years ago. I felt good restriction for the first 6 months or so and lost probably a total of about 30 lbs, but about a year and a half ago something happened in my personal life that sent me into a tailspin. In retrospect, I think I got really depressed. Needless to say, even though I was still active and exercising, my diet went to hell and I gained about 20 of it back. 

I'm terrified of going to see my doctor. Another patient of his, whom I met while getting my first fill, warned me that if I didn't lose enough weight or do as well as our doctor likes, our doctor would threaten to make me remove my band. He scared the **** out of me. So when I fell off the wagon and stopped getting filled, I was and am too scared to return.

I sent my nurse (who usually does the fills) my concerns and asked her for help and what to do. I can eat more than the 1/2 cup (4 ounces) they want me to stay at. I don't really feel restriction unless I drink too fast or eat salad ( I think I swallow a lot of air) and I have NEVER had an instance in which something's gotten stuck. 

 

Any encouraging words?

Wow- sounds like you need a new doctor.  Once that understands the ups and sometimes downs of the weight loss journey.  To threaten to remove the band is just ridiculous.  I strongly suggest you look for another doctor in your area to get fills and aftercare.

You are NOT a failure, life gets in our way sometimes and we just have to deal with it as it comes. You can get back on track but I also think a new doc is in order if he really acts that way, the the person could also have been yanking your chain to scare you. Usually most docs say 1/2 - 1 c. of food. Get back to basics, look to the right side of this page and it'll give you plenty of info. Mainly remember eat slowly, chew well and make sure the bite went down before taking another bite. Make sure your bites are pencil eraser sized. Protein first, then veggies. You can get back on track but you need to be able to get fills and have a good relationship with a doc who is supportive. Hang in there!

 

That's just silly talk that they'd remove band, come on, it's surgery. You cant base your decission on what someone else says. People like to exaggerate.
There is no judgement here just support. You need to inquire about support group meetings they are vital in your success, there are always other people there who have put on some weight. People are human and a vast majority of us have been obese the majority of it lives. You need to attend so you can refresh your information.
Get in to see the nutritionist. Weigh, measure and journal! If you bite it write it!!!! It's eye opening! Stay away from liquid calories!!!!! No flavored coffees or alcohol! **** watch your carbs! Protein first, veggies and maybe a piece of fruit. Be careful of fruit as it pertains to the glycemic index. Anytime you eat a piece a fruit it should be accompanied by a solid protein. The protein helps to neutralize your taste buds and curb the cravings that can result from the fruit.
Get into some professional counseling Emotional eating needs to be addresses. I see someone who specializes in eating disorders, and I would venture to guess the vast majority of us have those issues.
Continue wih the exercise, it's therapy on foot! Great stress reliever.

There are daily post for "what are you eating today?" a Christmas challenge/ and a weekly committ to be fit post. Hang around here and read up.
Take care,
Prek3

I would get a new doctor.  One that is supportive no matter what your weight is.  My doctor is great.  In the beginning when I was not doing well some doctors might have been negative.  My doctor kept giving me my fills and kept going over the rules.  He was encouraging and positive.  He never put me down and always made me believe I could do it.  Well he was right eventually after getting the right amount of fills and starting an exercise routine and really looking at my eating habits.  I started to lose lots of weight.  I have lost a total of 175lbs now.  And no one seems to enjoy my success more than my doctor.  He seems to really enjoy his job and really loves it when he is able to help an obese person find their way out of the prison of fat!!! 

This is the kind of doctor you need...because I don't see how any one can be successful without a great support team.

 

 

You sure don't need someone putting you down, you need hugs.  Get in to see that nut and get a fill. Just remember that they are there to serve you, not the other way around. You haven't failed nor are you a failure. You are human, my dear. Nothing more or less. You can get back on track but be prepared for hard work. I doubt you are afraid of that but it does seem a bit harder after being away for a while.

I am so glad you reached out to us, please keep it up.

Sue

Chantel,

Honestly -- I do think you need to see a doctor and ensure that your band is ok and properly adjusted.

If you see the doctor and they are not helpful, I would call them on it right there --- and say, "this is not helping -- I came here for HELP and if you can't provide it, I want a copy of my records so I can find someone who will'.

Actually, I might even mention when I called to make the appointment that I am calling because I have had some weight gain and need to come in and get help to ensure that my band is still ok -- and get back to losing weight.  Set the scene for exactly what you need and expect.

 

Personally, I would track my food for several days (and try my best to eat like a bandster) and go in armed with that information to review with them.

It is never to start over --- where there is life, there is hope ---- and you deserve a medical partner who will help you re-focus.

For me, it helped to have a list of reasons I wanted to lose weight

A list of things to do besides eat

A list of ways that I can know that I am successful that are not scale related

I'll bet you can think of things for all of those lists ---- you may not be where you wanted to be or expected to be, but you are not where you were -- there is something to be grateful for there ---- you can get your head back into this, I just KNOW you can!!!!

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. It does seem like life throws nails in the road sometimes.

I agree with the others that you may need to find a new surgeon, but I want to caution you that your current surgeon's attitude about poor weight loss is just hearsay. You can't take that to the bank unless you hear him say it yourself.

Maybe another fill would help. Can you get one from the nurse without seeing the surgeon?

Jean

 

One good thing about the band there is no limit of time that you can't get back on track. As long as your band is still working properly you can always get a fill. If you don't feel comfortable in seeing your surgeon find another one, the economy is not that great these days and surgeons are fighting for new patients. But don't feel ashamed to see your old surgeon, just suck it up and tell them you fell off the wagon with personal problems and now you are committed to starting over and working your band properly.

I agree when you have stress and problems in your life you should not get your band filled very tight because the band tends to tighten up more with stress and if you are not concentrating on losing weight with a very tight band ...all you will do is probably vomit and this is not healthy for your band.

It takes commitment and dedication and focus to be successful with your band in with any weight loss surgery, this is why surgeons do psych evaluations prior to surgery to see if you are wiling and ready to change your lifestyle, but things happen we are all human, but no you have not failed, it's just a temporary setback, go and get your fill and work your band.

Good luck

Hi Everyone!

Thank you kindly for your sweet words of wisdom and encouragement. :) I emailed my nurse and she was very sweet. She remembers me (apparently I'm a very nice patient and they appreciate that) and was so happy to hear from me. I'm making an appointment with the PA to get a fill and schedule an xray to make sure everything with the band is OK. Thank you again. I feel so much better than I did yesterday. I'm in a much better place emotionally and I'm ready to make my band work for me, and work for it. Thanks again!