I am inspired to tell on myself- 3 1/2 yrs out

I have been gone from this site for 3 1/2 years, lost 140 lbs,  and have put 40 lbs back on in the last year and a half. I had terrible acid reflux, which caused the dr.'s to take out all the fluid, and I have been struggling to get back to restriction, but also to a committed place.

Let me be honest with myself and all of you...for 2 yrs I didn't eat any of the things I had loved and overindulged on before my surgery, so when they opened my band up...well, my old ways took over. I have done this to myself, and I am so discouraged. I don't want to go back to where I have been. I seriously think I understand what drug users go through...they say the drugs talk to them, and first thing in the morning it feels like everything bad is calling to me, after breakfast, I am thinking about what I can have for lunch...dinner...snack, so on so on. 

My food addiction absolutely disgusts me, the size 10 jeans staring at me as I lay on the bed to get the siz 14's zipped sadden me, but knowing I am not alone, I have support, and I can beat this gives me hope.  

Yes...you are not alone.  You have pretty much described my story. I had a slip and had surgery to have my band repositioned.  I was undergoing a lot of stress while being mainly unfilled before and after my second surgery and went back to eating very badly.

I struggled last summer to zip up some 14's as my size 10's were packed away.  I am back to wearing SOME Of my size 12's now.  It has taken a very long time for me to get back on the program and to start losing again.  Just achieving restriction did nothing magic to my brain. 

Working out, seriously working out, for the first time in my life has helped immensley.  Seeing my body shape change has inspired me to start eating better and get the whole package this time.  You can can do it too, I know it isn't easy!

You are SO not alone! I'm going through the same thing! I lost 110 lbs in the first year and a half with a "broken band!" My first band had a hole in it so it never held fluids yet I still managed to lose all of the weight to date with a defective band. I had it replaced last August to one that actually works, and I've GAINED 20 lbs! Ugh. I know what you mean, it's SO hard once the initial excitement and motivation wears off! I've gone back to old eating habits and I have days where I'm disgusted with myself. The great thing about the band is I can't eat the quantities I used to eat, but I still have to completely start over and I don't know how to do that. I got a gym membership, and I'm going after work today, and I have an appointment for a fill in a couple weeks. I just keep telling myself to stop beating myself up about it, turn the situation around, and get back to the basic rules. I think that's all we can do! I try to remember how unbelievably depressed and alone I was when I was 300 lbs, and I NEVER want to get back there again. Good luck to you, keep us posted!

 Hang in there! You are not alone and I've been there with all those guilt and shame feelings.
Let us know how you are doing!

You are not alone as I'm going thru the same scenario as you are except I haven't had any band issues. I lost 85 pounds and have put on 25 pounds. I am squeezing into my 14's with my size 10's staring at me too. I was falling back into old habits. As you said, the "drugs", which to me is food, talks to me.
Well, last Friday I said enough of my pity and got a fill. I've vowed to go back to my lap-band life style. I don't want to go back to my former weight and misery
We're here for each other and we are not alone.
WE CAN DO THIS!!!