Husband disgusted with me

 Its not coming out right but sounds like your husband is scared for you.  To see you eat a whole sandwhich and then another one. He is probably not registering it was five hours later just that you ate it.  He probably got the idea the band will make you want to eat so much less and did not understand it takes time, fills etc. He is talking from fear. Get him some literature to read on the band and/or hit him upside the head for your own amusement! :) I am waiting til June to start the fills because I want time to learn and prepare. But I will say I am having to white knuckle it but sticking to 1.5 cups at most at a time and eating things like carrots, rice cakes if I get hungry in between. Try maybe half the sandwhich and something healthy when your hungry, should help.

Has he been banded?

Does he know what you're going through and what you're feeling?

My husband was confused at first too... but honestly, the amounts of food I can eat now, even if I'm "overeating", isnt  nearly the same amount that I ate pre-op.

He's disgusted with you, and you're eating less than you were before right???  Was he disgusted with you then??

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way... it really sucks.  A strong support system is SO important.  I cant stress that enough.

Hang in there!

The old me would have been extra hungry to if my husband was being an ass. That was my way to cope.

I am only 4 months post op so its still a learning process for me so I don't know if this would be correct advice. When I am still hungry after I ate what my portion should be I distract myself. Whether its getting on my new cruiser outside or playing Just Dance in the house. I walk away from the kitchen. If I am still actually hungry after my distraction period then I would have something small and packed with protein.

You need to talk to your husband about supporting you. Just don't do it at the height of your emotion or disappointment. Criticizing is not support. Let him know HOW he can support you.

Oh yes. Talk to your doctor about why you are still able to eat 2 full cups and still be hungry.

My surgery was on January 21st and I didn't get my first fill until the end of February.  I had no restriction at all from my first fill and was very disappointed.  I was so excited to get the second fill in March but I was again very disappointed.  A few foods made me uncomfortable but I still didn't feel like I had to stop eating at any point.  By fill 3, the dr wasn't sure he would fill it because I had lost 4 lbs and he thought that was good but I insisted.  Now, I feel the restriction and think this is going to work after all.  I knew this would be a long process but it feels like forever.

I recently started walking daily and am now addicted!  I get in 3 miles or more a day and feel depressed if I miss a day.  Not sure i've lost since my 3rd fill but I know I am feeling better than ever.

Don't pay attention to what others say.  It's your life and your journey and I've decided that even if it takes me a long time to lose the weight, I know it will finally be gone forever and that will be worth the long wait:)

 What about having  little snacks in-between or more dense foods when you're eating so you feel fuller longer.  I hate oatmeal so i won't recommend that, but things higher in fiber tend to stay with us a bit longer.  And like the others said sometimes it takes 3 fills to get it.  I'm only 2 weeks post op but I;ve also heard this from the dietitians and the classes i have attended.

I can't say much about your husband.  He's not being very nice to you at this point and you probably feel like you don't want to rock the boat in saying to much as you're already going through this band journey, and are probably under tress as well.   Maybe he's afraid if you over eat(though I don;t think you are) that you could cause yourself harm that needs to addressed medically.  Some men are not the greatest in tact when it comes to their wives.  I've had to learn how my husband thinks and functions to be able to understand where he is coming from and that's after 21 years of marriage.  In the beginning i didn't want to say anything for fear of rocking the boat-not sure what i was fearful of, but just didn't cause too many waves I guess.  Now I say my opinion and say this is how i feel and you can't change the way I feel.  you (husband) are only able to change my perception with how you approach  certain things.  He's learned as well.  You're also hurt from your parents as well so you are sensitive to issues with regards to food.  Having the one you love stick it to you as well is another added stress.  i know you can't let things roll of your back or ignore them-it's not easy.
you just need to do what is right for you and how you feel and talk to your dr about the fill situation and see if something can be remedied.  i wish you luck.

I feel bad for your husband. I think he is scared for you like another poster said, I bet he is also frustrated and perhaps even disappointed... im not sure what your weightloss is to this point. I can totally relate. I aim for 1 cup per meal... i rarely make my target, i was hungry all the time right up till about a week ago... one week after my second fill. I am now two weeks after my second fill... 1/2 cc both fills to 4.5 cc in a 10cc band. just yesterday and today im feeling restriction... its such a relief. not I have to work on my physical relationship to food, address my old habits etc... my boyfriend constantly comments on how much food I am eating... i think he is disgusted with me as well.. and well im setting the standard... im pretty disgusted with myself as well... surgery on March 1st and only 3 lb weightloss since then... i had high hopes for so much more. so im dissapointed and defeated, well my boyfriend is following my lead. he doesn;t undertand the process of this nor my desire to have the surgery... he basically thinks EAT LESS, or STOP eating and you will lose weight. HOW STUPID... but he is thin as a rail and will never understand... so i ask him to change the topic and kiss him and forget the criticsm... with hopes i will prove his sketicism wrong. HE IS WRONG... time... and patience will get us to goal...im praying for good things from my 3rd fill in a week and half... im also trying to get my head around my habits... and my hunger...
you are not dsisgusting. and he really doesn't feel that way. go kiss him now. ( even though he has been jerky about things) it will make you feel better.

Time for some tough love Cat.  It doesn't sound like real hunger to me.  Even if you didn't have a band, a chicken sandwich should be enough to fill you up for lunch.  It sounds like you're experiencing the emotional eating  that made many of us obese.  Remember, just because you can eat more doesn't mean you should and quite honestly you are risking a lot eating that much solid food this early out.  Technically you are still healing and that amount of food can put a lot of pressure on the band.

If it were me, I would consider eating 6 smaller meals, waiting at least 1 hour between.  You shouldn't be physically hungry after eating a sandwich.  Wait the hour and see how you really feel.  Remove yourself from the kitchen and try to distratct your mind with something else.  If you are truly hunger after an hour eat another protein dense small meal. 

As far as your husband goes, it sounds like you need ot have a heart to heart conversation to let him know how his behavior makes you feel.  It's causing you stress and is probably contributing to any emotional hunger you may be experiencing. 

I hope I didn't offend in any way.  I just want you to be successful and I scares me to think that you're eating 2 cups of food with a band.  My surgeon was really strict but I wasn't allow any more than 1/2 cup, ever!  I would go over that sometimes wth soft foods but I was always terrified about risking the tool that has helped me change my life.

Hang in there!
Lisa O.

Hi

Thanks for your support. I agree DH could be scared, I know he is scared for my health as I have multiple co-morbidities (high b.p., high cholesterol, tachycardia, sleep apnoea etc). I have decided to wait two weeks to see if the restriction finaly kicks in. I am scheduled for another fill in 4 weeks. My surgeon says 3 meals a day only, no snacking, 1 cup each meal. I am still staying approximately in my calorie allowance (1140 yesterday when I am allowed 1000).

DH is very slim, 5'9" and less than 130 pounds. He eats like crazy and still accidentally loses weight when he does SPIN or goes for a run. He knows what it is like to be hungry yet doesn't seem to realise that obese people feel hungry too. I know he cares and loves me but has a funny way of showing it. Yes, he did used to be disgusted with me when I was eating about 4 times as much as I do now.

We are one week before Winter sets in in Australia, and he won't let me put the heater on at home, because apparently being cold burns more calories than being comfortable.

Last night when I was calmer I tried to talk to him but he didn't say anything and then went off to sleep, leaving me crying.

I asked my nutritiionist for a name of a counsellor and he gave me a female doctor who specialises in eating disorders especially those people who have bands. I will see her soon.

I have tried just having protein when snacking eg just a can of tuna or can of chicken breast, but need some fibre to fill me up.

I am proud of the fact that I am no longer a member of the clean plate club. Several times now I have eaten and left some on my plate becuase I felt satisfied with what I had.

This journey is hard and I thank you all who have contributed, it makes me feel better to know some of you have been through the lack of restriction and some of you have encountered non supportive family.

Cat.

Sorry I didn't make clear that I had a chicken sandwich for lunch, and was hungry 5 hours later. It was real hunger that made me eat a tuna sandwich. I had a cup of high fibre no sugar cereal for breakfast, and evening meal was a chick pea pattie with garden salad. 1140 cal/day which is fairly typical of my day.

I am 5 weeks out from surgery and lost 27.5 pounds.

Cat.

I would hit your husband on the head with a loaf of bread!  a hard one 

Men are dopey...

It is important to try and stick with the quantity of food per sitting that  your doc recomended..
This will help you get used to the portion size you should be having.  I know it is hard when you are hungry... I also know when I am very hungry, my eyes are bigger than my stomach and i eat too much too fast..

Try eating smaller amounts more frequently... You mentioned you had the sandwiches 5 hours apart... You  maybe should not wait the 5 hours.. If you get that hungry, shoot for four.. Dont wait until you are "STARVING"... I always found/find I eat more when I do that..
A meal of Dense protein should keep you full for a few hours. 
So if you have  lunch at 12,  maybe by 3 have a small snack (string cheese, or such) then maybe by dinner you will be ok and not starving...
Also sometimes exercising can distract me from feeling too hungry..  If you are getting too hungry too soon, maybe try to go for a walk...??

Explain to your husband that this is a process...It is not an instant fix. 
It will take time.. And the more he aggravates you, the harder it is for you. 
I find that with my son.. The more moody and tempermental he is, the more stressed I get. 

Tell him, if he is concerned about you to be supportive, not criticizing... 
(Maybe print out and show him the responses you got here) 
Good Luck and remember--hard bread to the head!!!