Husband disgusted with me

I got my first fill on Thursday and I can still eat a mountain - not that I am doing so. I eat about 2 cups of food at a sitting, 4 times a day. I try to eat less but am starving. Today I was 5 hours out from eating lunch (one chicken sandwich) and I was so hungry I ate a tuna sandwich. Wholegrain bread, low GI, no butter etc. Husband was so disgusted he moved when I sat next to him at the table to eat it. He says that he can't stand by and watch me eat like I've got no band. So he gives a running commentary on everything I eat. I haven't had any desserts, candy, icecream etc. Just good healthy foods, unfortunately about double what I should be eating. Still, about a fourth of what I have been eating, and much healthier.

I am starving hungry and had hoped the fill would stop some of the hunger and help me cut down my portion sizes. I can't take this criticism of what I am eating when I had to suffer it from my parents from the time I was 12 y.o. I have told him not to criticise what I am eating but he won't stop. I don't know what else to say.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

When you are both a little calmer, what about asking if he would try to eat the same as you and see how well he would do?  He'll find it's not so easy to reduce your portions when you're always hungry.

Did he go to any of the pre-op meetings with you?  Does he understand that the band often does not start working right away?

Is your doctor supportive, would he talk to him?  Take DH with you to support group and maybe some of the others can clue him in on what support is supposed to mean.

I know it's so hard, but I'd try to ignore his behavior right now.  Or tell him either get behind me (support me) or get out of the way.  (I get fairly blunt when I'm mad.. and what he's doing would make me mad.)

Hope it gets better for you soon.

I get the same attifude from my father.  It really ****** me off.  I have lost the weight and understand he doesn't want me to gain.  I have kind of just let it role off my back but the longer it goes on the more annoying it gets.  I think I will say something the next time he starts.  Something like, I understanf you are concerned about me gaining weight but I feel I have eveything under control.  I have pretty much kept all the weight off since Sept.  I will let him know that him comments are not helpfull.  I don't need reminders that something I am eating isn't on the general plan, I can have "treats" once in a while.  I hope this will help.

You are doing great sticking to the right foods, even if they are larger than what you will eat once you have restriction.  For me it took 3 fills.  From reading posts on this board, that's pretty typical. 
I would deffinatly have a talk with your husband.  Let him know his comments are not helpfull.  Explain the band hasn't started working yet, since you have no restriction.  Tell him you are looking for his support, not criticism.  Inviting him to a support group is also a great idea,
Hope this helps and good luck.

Have you shared with your doc about feeling "starving"?
U should not be feeling that way with the band, hungry yes at times but not starving.
I'm wondering if the band needs filled more? I was eating quite a bit until I had that 3rd fill. Now i'm in a good place.

Your husband sounds horrific. I'm sorry to hear that he is unsupportive. We need help from our families, not criticism,
I would eat alone and enjoy my food, and not deal with his insanity at the moment. He should come around!

I agree with the comment that there must be something not right with the band adjustment. You need to get back with your surgeon and find out what is going on. Unless he only put in less than .5cc, you should feel something.

I would call the surgeon right away.
As for your husband, he needs to bear with you until you get this thing solved!

Hang in!

Mary

It can take more than one fill to achieve optimal restriction.

First of all, it's perfectly normal to be very hungry five hours after your last meal.

Secondly, it can take more than one fill to achieve optimal restriction. And it can take up to 2 weeks for a fill to kick in - that's happened to me several times.

Thirdly, your husband deserves a slap upside the head. If I were a teeny bit closer to you geographically, I'd gladly deliver the slap. If he won't stop criticizing, perhaps you could wear ear plugs when eating with him. Or, just stop eating with him, and if he asks why, tell him that his constant criticism of your eating is not helping you.

Jean

 There is a distinct difference between critisism and abuse. Critisism, in some way, should be constructive. Abuses only aim is to hurt. I will not say bad things about your husband, period, simple because he is your husband. I will only say, I was married to a man (technically Im still legally married as we've been separated seven years ---THATS a whole other post) who was abusive (Im sure I was no picnic either). I learned much about when someone is simply trying to hurt you and make you feel as badly as they do, and when someone is tough lovin you.....major major difference. One is done out of love or positively and the other is to harm. Its like the differtence between "discipline" and "punishment". I used to use them interchangably until I looked them up. Discipline means to teach, punish means to inflict pain. Is he teaching or inflicting pain? What is his goal? What is yours?

I am seven months out and JUST got to 5 ml in my 11 in ap band...I don't know if I could have handled seven months of ridicule for having flukey and usually non existant restriction. 

Hang tough sweet heart and you are in a normal place, no matter what he says...(and listen tot he others, ask about more in a fill)

This is verbal abuse.  It sounds as if you two could use some marital counseling to resolve this conflict, which has nothing to do with food and everything to do with his need to control you.  He may be scared to death that when you lose weight, you won't need him in your life any longer.  He has no right, and someone who truly has your best interest at heart wouldn't berate, belittle and harass you while you are going through this.

My fills take about 10 days to kick in...give it a few more days and see what happens.  Meanwhile, eat just one cup of food at a time and eliminate the breads...eat more lean protein in it's place.  See if you can go 3 hours without feeling hungry after eating like this.  Make sure you get your 16oz of water at least 4 times per day (between meals) and don't drink with your meals.  If you get hungry between meals, have a couple of pieces of RF string cheese to tide you over.  If after 10 days, you still feel the same way you describe in your post, you might need another fill...but be careful.  Overfilling can lead to complications.

Hang in there and tell your husband he needs to mind his own business.

Steph

Wow, I'm so sorry....That must have hurt a lot.  I don't think I would be a strong enough woman not kick him in the, you know where!!!!!!!.  My husband was so pissed I was getting this surgery.  I simply told him, either you support me or you don't, its your decision, but if you don't, I can't stay here.  For our marriage, their isn't anything I don't support him on, he is my husband, and if he couldn't do the same for me, i was prepared to leave.....however, maybe talking to someone would help you guys out.  My heart goes out to you and hope that he can see that isn't supportive, but very hurtful.  If there is anything I can do please feel free to contact me..

Much love and hugs....
Jamie