: BOB Conversation with Mom & Sister; Mom against, Sister indifferent (cross post)

Yes, I do need some positive reinforcement especially after the conversation I just had with both my Mom & Sister.  My mom is dead set against it and my sister is indifferent which ****** me off just as much or more.  My sister, the nurse, who sees everything as black & white and no gray, still doesn't see obesity as a surgery and the first thing she says to me is, "what will you do in 5 yrs when you regain weight".  My mom is more scared about complications.  I think if they can guarantee its done lap, she is fine, her concerns are more about if they open me up to do the band and if I have to spend time in the hospital as hospitals are breeding grounds for infections.  I understand that.  She also feels this surgery, over the RNY, is much more rigid and I won’t be able to follow the guidelines.  Right now, I'm just really really low.

I had lapband sugery 4 years ago, my husband and my sister also were against me having it.  I have lost 90lbs and kept it off, I would like to lose 20 more but I am happy with my decision.  You are doing this for yourself and not anyone else.  I told both my husband and my sister (who is still 100 lbs overweight) that if they love me they would support my decisions.  You have to do what you feel is right for you.  Rember we are all here on the board to support you and answer your questions the best we can. 

You ultimatly need to do what's best for you. Do your research and see if the band is right for you, you make the decision. Look to your family for support but it's ultimatly up to you. I hope whatever you decide they get behind you.
You should know you will probably be hungry until you get a few fills in you- at least that seems to be most peoples experience. You will probably have to give up rice, pasta and bread- the band just seems not to tolerate those foods. You might have a fill that makes you too tight and you throw up (but it's not like when you have the flu, no heaving, the food just gently comes back up). You need to be prepared to eat very slowly. Small bites and chewing really well. For me, that was harder than I ever thought it would be.
On the other hand, it is a great tool. When you get to a "sweet spot" you are full on a small portion of food for 4 hours or so. Good luck in your decision, keep us posted.

While I know the Band is a lot different than the RNY, it still is very similiar. I am prepared for the chewing, the small portions, etc. I think I am MORE prepared than most bc I've already been through the Gastric Bypass and no what did and didnt work.  It just hard bc they supported me the 1st time and not now.

Hi i am sorry the support is not there. You will ultimately have to decide. I was lucky both times to have full support. It is not an easy journey by any means but it does provide an aide for you whicj i am glad to have...i believe re-keeping the weight loss off will be a life long issue, i know for me it will be as food is & has been my drug of choice for all my life. I hope things turn around for you. Try not to let it get you down ... the support will be there for you, i am sure, after surgery if not before, and you always have support from us here at this forum.

I am sorry to hear that you are down about not having the support you need for your surgery. I can tell you that the lap band surgery was a complete breeze compared to the RNY. A good surgeon will be able to put the band in laparoscopically. It would be rare for them to have to open you back up! I stayed one night but only because I was the last surgery of the day and didn't get done until after 5:00 pm. I was home by noon the next day. I also feel as if I have an advantage in some ways because I have already had wls but am finding it still takes a lot of work. With the RNY it was effortless in the beginning because I just could not eat. With the band I have to make sure I watch my portions and get my exercise in or I don't lose weight. As you have said, it is a tool and I am very glad I have the tool to help me again. It is important to have the support of our families and friends but they are not the ones suffering with the excess weight. Even if you do gain weight back after 5 yrs it is worth it for today and hopefully this is the last tool we need to gain control over this issue. Stay positive and get yourself mentally and physically prepared for your surgery. Your surgery is going to go fine!

I'm sorry you didn't receive the support you needed.  I think a lot of people just don't get the fact that  weight loss surgery is a type of treatment for obesity -- not a cure. It doesn't "fix" us 100%. If you told your mom & sister that you had to have some sort of treatment for another medical issue I think they would look at it differently and want you to get whatever help you needed, in spite of the risks  -- if it would help improve your overall health.  Not fair, but maybe you can help them see it that way.

Take Care,

Trixie