Ok, so I accidentally posted this on the main forum mssg board under the title "unsolicited advice" and boy did I get it.  The majority of the posters there said things like "the lap band has the worst reputation of the surgeries" and that I'm crazy for considering it with a bmi over 50 (Mine is now 52).  I am planning on shedding a good 20-30lbs in the 6 mths pre surgery.  I'm not deterred but anyone who did this with a bmi over 50 please give me some encouargement! :)

Here's my post:
Why is that some people feel so compelled to dish out advice in regards to weight loss- especially those who don't personally struggle with it themselves?? I am not hiding the fact that I intend to have lap-band surgery and overall people have been positive and supportive so I can't complain. But there are those few....


Today a woman next to me at my hairdressers mentioned her mother and sister had gastric bypass and I chirped up and informed them that I'm having lap-band as soon and as fast as these pre-op months will go...(the alternative would be for me to NOT mention this and basically lie to everyone when weight starts coming off and that won't work for me.) Anyway, my new hairdresser (who is excellent at highlights!) looks at me and gawks. She then asks me why I would consider something so extreme and had I tried losing the weight naturally? WTH??? I smiled politely and told her "Yes, of course I have and I have yoyo'd for years and I'm actually quite excited about the surgery (Thank you very much!) but she continued... She went on to tell me every horror story she could think of (all 3 of which were gastric bypass stories which she was confusing with lap band) and I ended up explaining the process and that both surgeries were actually pretty common now and much safer than they were 20 years ago. etc. Anyway she was not happy until she had given me the name of her holistic doctor who she swears for 175 an hour can cure me of obesity. I love my highlights, but jeez! Anybody else deal with this??


Secondly, my sister (who is a size 1, models for a living, and who has never had any weight issues) insists that "only the strong survive" and that I "just need to ask the universe to give me the body that I want, to envision it" LMAO. She watches The Secret a little too much.


I would love to know how others on here deal with friendly and not so friendly unsolicited advice.  

I had a BMI of 54...now it's 33

Here are my before and after pictures!!!

My heaviest weight 354lbs...now 214lbs
I lost 52 inches...more than 4 feet
I was a size 30/32...now a size 16

I still have about 50 lbs to lose.   It has taken me two years to get this weight off  I'm sure with other surgeries I would have gotten the weight off faster and easier... but I feel slow and steady wins the race.  Losing the weight slower has allowed me to make healthy changes in my life.  I workout 6 days a week, 90 minutes a day.  I eat healthy, whole, organic foods.  I know if the weight flew off me quickly I probably wouldn't have made these changes ...but that's just me.  You can lose lots of weight with the Band but it takes a lot of work and will power.   

 

You continue to be an inspiration to me daily...amazing!!!

Your weight loss choice is what you make of it. Can I say that one choice works for everyone? No. Can I say I have lost a great deal of weight as have many others here? YES.  I learned long ago, to build a coat of muscle to bounce off negative people and their comments.  (cant make it a wall of fat..it will only absorb the thoughts).  Remember this is for YOU, not your sister or your hair dresser...or even the people here that tell you well you HAVE to do this choice or that... Guess what? My weight loss was for me and all about ME, and so is yours. :) You can do this, don't lose focus,

Just keep swimming
Swoosh

 Wow!  Thank you guys!  I felt a little deflated this morning after waking up to all those opinions.  I AM grateful to everyone *****sponded on that other board because I know they are speaking from the heart but I do feel strongly the band is the best choice for me.  I really appreciate your responses because it helps to know people who did this with success!  

Keep your goals in sight, girl...you know they are going to give their 2 (or 222 lol) cents in on the main board.  There are many successful bandsters I have seen with high BMIs over the years I've been here. :)

you know, my partner is skinny and he can eats however much and often as he likes and he stays slim. He also tried to give me advise how to lose weight and how to keep it off. The thing is that somebody who has never been overweight cannot understand and know what they are talking about. Also the other way round- if somebody tells me when they have problems they lose so much weight because they cannot eat- this is really weird for me, how can you stop eating when you have problems, do you know what I mean?

Fact is: Yes, it is a big step, but there is a reason why you decide to do so. The problem is that your hairdresser probably thinks of surgeries as miracles, lazy overweight people can't even move their bums to make a little effort. The lapband is gonna be a lot of work. I had the surgery 6 weeks ago, and my first fill 2 days ago (yay), and I finally am satisfied after a small portion. BUT I do not feel full, I feel satisfied. If I wait a little, I am sure I could eat more, but that may damage my pouch etc etc, you will have to be very disciplined.
I tried to explain this very thing to a colleague of mine the other day and she simply shook her head because she could not understand me, and I cannot understand her. If you tell people about it, it's great, but you do not have to defend your decision. Either they are happy for you and supportive, or they are not. If you get another great advise from somebody who doesn't hvae a clue what they are talking about- ignore it. That is my advise :P

Evelyn

i don't even go on the main (or any other) board. Went there once and got much the same reaction. A bitter bunch over there in my opinion !

I had a BMI of 60 or over  ( I really don't put that much faith in the BMI.. it's not accurate for those who've been overweight for a long time [our bones are heavier than average] or for older persons or for athletes), not sure what it was exactly.   My presurgery weight was 385 at seminar, 383 day of surgery.

2 years later, I'm now 187 as of this am. I think my BMI is around 31.. still rated as obese, but not far from being only overweight. Getting darn close to the second century mark.

I won't kid you and tell you the weight fell off by itself. I work out alot and I eat pretty close to the 3oz & 1/2 cup veggies and no processed carbs about 80 to 90% of the time.  But I go by the philosophy that nothing worth having comes free or easy.  

It can be done.  Lapband was the only thing I was willing to consider at the time of my surgery.   I didn't know about the VSG & my doc didn't do them then anyhow.  I still think the band would be my first choice, but I think the VSG is a viable choice for some and what I would probably do if I had to have my band removed.