Are you ashamed?

No shame here either...I tell everyone that I had the lapband. 

Most of the time people wanting to know or making remarks are those that should be considering getting one....

I still can't figure out why people don't go for surgery to become healthier and to be able to move....I guess people come out of denial in different ways and some never do at all...

Ashamed??  No way.  I am proud of the decision to take this on.  With every pound lost I am proof that this band works and that it was the BEST decision I've ever made.  I have had a couple of people question my lack of strength and the need to resort to surgery but I don't give it much credence because they have never walked in my shoes!  Good for you.

I wouldn't call what I feel "shame."  But I am reticent about sharing my surgery with others.  If I'm honest with myself, and all of you, I would say that it has to do with my own fear of failure.  I have tried and failed so many times to lose weight and keep it off, that I'm just not willing to put myself out there in front of everyone.  Of course my family knows, and my two closest girlfriends, but that's it.  

The surgery didn't change my brain...it is still a work in prcgress.  I am strong and confident in my decision.  I am determined to succeed.  But I'm still not 100%, without-out-a-doubt certain, that I will succeed.  And I'm just no longer willing to "fail" in front of everyone.

Perhaps my unwillingness to share may actually hinder my ability to succeed...I don't know...I just feel like I have to protect my emotional self...just in case.  Does that make sense?

I totally understand where you're coming from.  I'm sure not gonna lie about it, but I found out the hard way putting it out there might not be the best decision I ever made.  My lap band buddy's grandaughter called her after a week and asked, "Are you skinny yet?"  And I feel people are looking at me and thinking "Why aren't you skinny yet?  You had this surgery in January."  Though I know it's not a race, and I have lost 28 or so lbs, I just understand how you feel.

That's exactly how I feel, Tarris.  No, I'm not ashamed that I have my band, but I just hate when people watch every move you make when it comes to food or start telling me "you shouldn't be eating that, should you?"  For that reason, I have not told everyone in my life.  A few friends know and some of my co-workers.  They all have been very supportive.  But they all have seen me on my rollercoaster ride for so long, that I always have doubts about what they would think if I were to screw up.  Not that I'm planning to!!!  Of course, my immediate family knows too.  My husband told a few of his siblings (against my specific wishes), but I can't do anything about it now.  I will never be ashamed of my band!!

Not that I got it, though I am self concious about not having lost as much weight as I had expected.  The conversation goes like this:

"You had weight loss surgery?"

"Yeah."


But what I hear is:

"You had weight loss surgery?"

"Yeah."

"Your still kind of, well, you know..."

"  Yeah."

"Sure you didn't get the weight FINDING surgery?"

"HEY!"

My internal dialogue goes downhile from there.

I first told everyone at work that I was having surgery because the folks in my department will send the flowers to your funeral if they even suspect that you are some kind of sick and also with the amount of food going on around here. All of my co-workers have been supportive of my decision and after I came back to work, have still been supportive. My family was a little apprehensive but once I let them know that I am doing this with or without your consent because for real I dont need your permission, they came around and have come to terms with it. Because I live my life as pretty much an open book (you will never, ever not know where I stand on anything) I dont care what people think of my decisions especially when it comes to my health which was getting worse by the month before my surgery.

The biggest irritant for me though is the questioning of why I got the surgery that I did (VSG). As I told everyone who raised this question to me, what type of surgery is a personal one and there is no right or wrong surgery, you have to go what is best for you.

Ashamed, me, never!

Hey, Sis! You know I know you like the open book you talked about! And I also know that we will voice our opinions to anyone about practically anything (some things I just WON'T discuss with others... PERIOD!) But it is good to see you here! Thanks for chiming in on my post.

I see your pounds are coming off...GREAT! Go you! Go you!

I thought you were gonna call me? I haven't heard from you. I'll be busy this evening and tomorrow evening, but call me on Friday so we can get the thing poppin'...ok?


Von a.k.a.
  Anumrzvee

im only ashamed i didnt do it earlier

I am not ashame either.... Actually it took my shame away!! 

I was ashame of not sitting in a chair comfortably... gone

I was ashame of not being able to keep up with a crowd... gone

I was ashame to have my husband tie my shoes...gone

I was ashame of buying strechy pants... gone

I could go on forever.... do I have some shame left, yes, but I am a work in progress and I have no shame in saying it!!