ashamed of myself

Ladies dont give up i know what u are feeling lol i ended up with an unplanned pregnancy 7 months ago and am gaining weight back like crazy because i had to have a complete unfill :( i intend to be back and better than ever after my baby is born .. we all need to remember that it is a lifetime committment and we cant give up we need to regroup and get our groove back lol we can do this and we can support each other !!!! sending up prayers for all of us (((HUGS)))

gwen

Thanks, everyone, for all your supportive words. I had my fill and my doctor found out that there is a possible leak in my band! I used to have almost 4 ccs in there, and I only had 2 ccs in it!! No wonder I've had such a big appetite and have been able to eat whatever I want! It's still no excuse for eating sugar, I know, but it at least explains some of what is going on. I have to go back in a month to see if I've lost any more fluid, and if so, we will go from there with possible surgery to either replace the port or the tubing.

Denying myself sweets is really difficult. I think it's like a chemical addiction or something... I'm totally serious. I know I make the choice of whether or not to eat sweets, but once I get going, I just can't seem to make myself stop. I even eat them when I'm actively telling myself not to. I have to take sweets one temptation at a time... not even a day at a time. It's like I have to say " Right now, I will not eat this pack of M&Ms. If I still want them later, I'll think about it then. But right now, I won't eat them." I can't even say, "Today, I won't have any M&Ms." It feels pathetic to me to be so controlled by food, but I seem to be.

Since my fill, I've been working on upping my protien and veggies. Chicken tortilla soup with extra veggies and lots of eggs have been my mainstays. I need to work on the exercise portion. I admit I really don't do much of anything for exercise. I lost my first 100 lbs without really exercisiing at all, so I got really spoiled. I want to come at it from a "reinventing myself" point of view, like developing a lifelong hobby/exercising habit, if that makes sense. I'm worried that if I start out slow like I know I'll need to, I won't see any progress on the scale or in the fit of my clothes and that I'll get discouraged and quit, which is a big part of the reason I haven't started. I don't want to fail.