Getting Used to Food Deprivation

Earlier today Kate posted an interesting thread entitled, So, Eat!

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/lapband/4369202/So-EAT-Jea nM-do-you-want-to-join-in/#36099998

 

After I posted a response to it, I kept on thinking about the whole issue of food deprivation. It’s a topic that deserves more attention. If we don’t learn how to deal with it in a healthy way, achieving weight loss and a healthy lifestyle is going to be a lot harder.

 

Fearing food deprivation is a basic instinct that drives every living organism. Every creature – human, animal, insect, you name it – survives by seeking food and shelter. So when I tell you that you need to master your fear of deprivation, I’m not telling you to deny this basic instinct (by not eating when you’re hungry). In fact, I’m telling you to respect it.

 

“Normal" people eat when they’re physically hungry. They also eat when they’re not hungry, but not very often – it’s a special occasion thing, like Thanksgiving Dinner, or a piece of birthday cake.

 

Obese people eat when they’re physically hungry, and also in response to dozens of clues totally unrelated to hunger, such as boredom, stress, grief, depression, elation, you name it. After eating that way for a while, we become so fat that we decide to go on a diet. It might be a fad diet, or it might be a sensible, 1500-calorie diet like the Diabetic Exchange diet.

 

Whatever the nature of the diet is, we go into it with a mindset of deprivation. Our minds are overshadowed with thoughts like, “I can ONLY eat 1500 calories a day," or “I can ONLY eat ½ cup of food," or “I CAN’T eat potatoes," or “I HAVE to eat broccoli even though I hate it." Does any of that sound familiar?

 

I don’t know about you, but one of the reasons I had band surgery so that I could lose weight without having to diet for the rest of my life. I wanted to break that endless cycle of diet-feast-diet-feast-diet-feast. It has worked out splendidly for me, but it took a while for me to adjust my thinking to the “It’s OK to eat" mindset.

 

For my first 6 months or so as a post-op, I would look at my small plate with tiny portions of food on it and instantly feel deprived and sorry for myself. Never mind that the small portions were plenty of food for my banded stomach…they just weren’t enough for my brain to accept. Gradually I became accustomed to the tiny portions, and one day I found myself looking at the food on someone else’s plate and thinking, “Oh my God, look at enormous plate of food!" That enormous plate of food contained the same huge serving size I ate as a pre-op, but because of the mental adjustment I’d made, it no longer triggered the “Oh, goodie!" button in  my brain.

 

I don’t think I will ever be a completely “normal" eater, because I have two chronic diseases – obesity (which has been treated but not cured by WLS) and compulsive overeating (which I’m still working on, even now at my lowest weight). But nowadays I eat pretty much like a normal eater with a small appetite. When I sit down to a nice meal, with a spoonful of this and a spoonful of that on my small plate, I no longer think, “How can I survive on this little bit of food?" Instead I think, “This looks delicious. I’m so fortunate to have this wonderful food. Thank you, God."

 

I don’t want to hear you all crying, “That’s all very well for you, Miss Perfect, but I’m far away from reaching that point and I don’t believe I’ll ever get there." That’s a bit liking setting out in your car to drive from New York to California and telling yourself (regardless of what your GPS says), “I’m never going to get there. I’ve never seen California. Maybe it doesn’t even exist!"

 

I’m not saying it’s an easy destination to reach, and sometimes I feel like I got here crawling on my hands and knees. But believe me, it’s worth the time and effort.

 

“Oh my God, look at enormous plate of food!" That enormous plate of food contained the same huge serving size I ate as a pre-op, but because of the mental adjustment I’d made, it no longer triggered the “Oh, goodie!" button in my brain.


It took me over a year, maybe closer to the two year mark to have the same reaction...I never thought I would look at a plate of food and think "OMG" again...

It's amazing how LITTLE food our bodies really need....

I am so glad to have the OMG effect back...I chuckle to myself all the time when we eat out and I see piles of food going by... THANK GOD for my band!!

I think this maybe only true for Western culture. I can't see a person in Africa or Haiti feeling deprived. It seems to me they just snarf up their food. They are in the unfortunate position of having no idea that there are lots of different foods out there. They eat to stay alive.

Which leads me to believe by your account that thoughts and feelings of "deprivation" is more in our thoughts than reality. Its nice to hear from people that those thoughts can someday be mine as well.

Those starving people in Africa or Haiti were in my mind when I wrote this thread, but I feel like I harp on that issue enough as it is. In a way, it's ridiculous for a middle-class American to ever feel food deprived. I've traveled a lot world wide and I've seen people who truly are deprived, and they would happily scarf down a single mouthful of the food that Americans discard. I have a Chinese friend whose family is from a village that was so poor, there wasn't enough food to go around, so entire familie**** the road looking for another place to live. They ended up in Hong Kong, a family of 8 children and 2 parents living in a tiny 2-room apartment. Their parents are dead and the children are all prosperous adults now, but sharing a meal with them is an enlightening experience. Every morsel of food is precious to them.

On the other hand, I feel like my own, unearned fear of deprivation is perfectly valid in the context of my own life. I think food gained ascendancy in my world because I was deprived of other, less tangible things.

One of the best things about being banded for me has been getting in touch with my body and what it needs and how it feels when I eat.

Jean

GREAT POST JEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some may not appreciate your post, but it will likely be dependant upon what stage in the journey they are in. As it is so often said, "this is a journey". And currently after confronting and being honest about my eating disorder and food sensitivities, I am entering another new stage.
 
I am learning to love my food! I have been making my food look beautiful!Yea, maybe  my plate is smaller, but making it look eye appealing is amazing! Lots of color, I crave color. And now that I have finally been able to truly taste my food, (for years it was  fat laden, that I lost my sense of taste and smell). But since I have been eating CLEAN (real fruits,vegetables) I notice taste and smell and that is so important to my feeling satisfied. And dare I say "EXCITED" about my foods!

And believe me, for me to get "excited" about my food is amazing! I hated to cook! I currently have been making beautiful salads and sharing them with my WLS friends and more importantly my family! All yummy healthy foods! And foods I thought I didn't like, honestly I never had even tried! And yes my foods are becoming "******ic" to me, but in a good healthy way, not in an obssesive way.

ok enough of my ranting,
prek3

I totally understand how a beautiful plate of food can be more appetizing and delicious than a plain one. The chef who taught me to cook explained that whole concept to me, emphasizing that making food look appealing was especially important in getting children or invalids to eat better. At the time, I nodded obediently and thought, "I don't care what it looks like. I just care what it tastes like."

Not any more! For years I shoveled food in so fast and so indiscriminately that I don't think I tasted anything - maybe the first bite, but nothing after that. Now each meal is an adventure.

Jean

Great Post Jean!!!

I too get grossed out by some of the huge plates of food I see people snarfing up and shoveling in. Also I pay more attention to the quality and look of my food, if I'm having a small portion I want it to be an awesome thing. Another thing I learned along the way is that it is OK to feel hungry. I mean if I'm driving home from "the big city" and feel hungry I could pull into a fast food place but instead I realize it's just fine to feel hungery till I get home and can fix me a beautiful salad that will taste much better. So it's all in how we choose to look at things.

Yes, it's definitely a matter of how we choose to look at things - glass half-empty, glass half-full.

And I feel the same way about the quality and look of my food - what I give up in quantity, I want to make up in quality. On the other hand, I'm learning to just get over it if every meal isn't manna from heaven, because another meal will come along soon enough!

Jean

Thank you so much for this post.  I don't yet have a surgery date...but you very much addressed what i am thinking about.  I have nothing to offer, only that i truly appreciate the honesty here!

betsey