kinda pissed

Okay, so lastnight I was kind of pissed.  Well this Tuesday  I go to see the doctor for my first post op appt...I feel great..Like I didn't even have surgery, just sometimes very very hungry...like stomach growling like crazy.  Anyway, I have 3 kids and my hubby to feed everyday.  Usually not an issue at all..They could eat anything they wanted to in front of me, and I wouldn't give a crap...For some reason lastnight, they went to Sheetz and got stuff to eat.  My son got a hamburger(which I have been craving so bad), my daughter got a pretzel sandwhich (love love them) and hubby got a steak sandwhich..(other daughter was with her aunt for the night)....I was pissed at each of them, because I was sitting there w/ a frickin yogurt and atkins shake...Like I said, I don't know why I was so mad.  I of course would NEVER express that to them...They didn't do this to me, I did this to me.  I am the one that had the surgery, and I am the one that knew what I would have to do....I don't know why that upset me.  The oly thing I can think is that I feel great and I "feel" like I should be able to eat.  Of course I know I can't eat till the okay by the doc, but I was just pissed.  I felt so much like crying. 

Did this ever happen w/ anyone else.  Another thing I'm kind of upset about is, I heard so many people say, "after surgery you wont be hungry at all"...Man 3 day post op my stomach was going crazy...I thought, **** post op will be much easier then pre-op because I won't be hungry and wont be thinking of food...not in my case....Does this mean I am doomed w/ the lap band??  My god I hope not. 

OHHH, and on Friday people from work ordered lunch.  The place they ordered had a cream soup so I ordered. Do you know how many times, I heard, "YOU CAN"T ORDER LUNCH, YOU CAN"T EAT THAT"....1st of all, mind your own fkin business and 2nd of all, WTF people, do you really think I'm going through this liquid hell just to screw it up??? Honestly??  Did that ever happen to anyone and how did you handle it?  I was calm to everyone, but after about the 5th time it happened I was ready to explode....

I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I would never express this to my hubby, because God bless his heart he feels guilty enough eating real food in front of me.  He has such a good heart...God love him! 

Anyway, any advice or comments welcome!!!  Thanks everyone for being my sounding board!! 

Welcome to "Bandster Hell,"       you are now officially a member.  Your appetite will go away after you get adjustments.  I didn't have the "Food Police" after me at work cause I didn't tell anyone, it made everything sooo easy.  Actually I did not tell anyone, not even my family who lives with me, after 6 years they still don't know.         Anyway, you have a lot of things to go through with this band, both mental, emotional  and physical.  Just take one day at a time.  It gets a lot easier and the reward of getting skinny is great.   Good luck.

Yes, it happened to me   A week after my surgery, my neighbors had their first cookout in the yard.  They have one every year, and there's only about 12 of us who attend, so not a big crowd.  But, it's usually wine or beer, burgers, hot dogs and a pasta salad.  I was fine drinking my protein shake in the beginning, but once everyone had their burgers, it was rough!  One of the other girls was on a liquid diet, and kept saying how she couldn't eat anything.  So I felt like I had company - but then she gave up and filled up a plate! Rawr!  And the male half of my neighbors kept asking me if I was sure I couldn't just have a little something!  They know I had the surgery. Just shut up, Ron!  LOL  I was glad to get home that night.  Once you can start having solid food, those situations will get easier. 
As for the Food Police at work - just tell them you know what you're doing and can monitor your own food, thank you very much, and smile.  If you put a humorous spin on it, hopefully no one will take offense.  Once I was able to have soft food, I sat with a few take home menus and just read to see if I could have anything!  I could have, but chose not to.  It's not easy, and no one told me it would be. These little situations are going to pop up, and we need to be prepared to handle them. 

I personally, am dreading Easter this year.  It's at my in-laws, and my sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws don't know I had the surgery.  None of them ever had a weight problem, and if they notice something, they say something.  I just hope I don't go home crying.

Think of post-op as sort of post-partum...emotions will run the gamut and because you are losing some fat, your hormones are going to be out of whack!  There were a couple of times I really wanted something, but true hunger isn't choosy...so that is head hunger, an emotional response to perceived deprivation.  Some call it "bandster hell", but look at it as a process.  You are learning a new lifestyle and sort of cleaning out your "closet" with regard to food.  Once you are off liquids and on to solid food, you will feel a bit better.  Just remember that this time is for healing and learning, and eat good quality food that is low in fat and carbs and high in protein every couple of hours if needed....it's ok.
As far as your co-workers...tell them you are a mature adult who is in charge of her own life and fully understands what she can and cannot eat...unless they have had YOUR surgery, they have no idea what you can and cannot do.

Just an idea, cause I don't know your progression timeline for solids, but I cooked up some 99% ff ground turkey and crumbled it really small and added about 2 oz to soups to add protein and keep me full longer.  I still kept my over all portion size at 4 oz, but I stayed full longer and still lost.

HUGS.... been there done that...  My workplace decided that we should start having parties for birthdays and such every month right after I had my surgery, since I was on social comm. I was put in charge of it, I had to order cakes, sandwich's, and cookies for 100 people, not to mention buy the soda and such....but never eat or drink any of it....I know how bad that feels and I don't think that someone that wasn't in the spot really understands why you are upset.  Hang in there.... it WILL be worth it. :)  Your day is coming :)

just keep swimming
Swoosh :)

I don't have a lap-band, but I had a Realize band placed they day before Thanksgiving last year (so I'm now a little over 4 months out). I just got my 2nd (agressive) fill on the 13th of last month and hit my sweet spot. Until then it was basically a lot of faith and brute force to do the right thing. I was hungry ALL OF THE TIME! But I stuck to around 600 calories a day and made sure to get at least 70g of protein and all of my water down. My surgeon put 4 cc's in my band when it was placed. Added 3 cc's to my band at the 1st fill (for a total of 7) then added another 1.5 cc's a few weeks ago so now I'm at 8.5 and things have gotten easier. Things will get easier for you eventually -- have faith that you are doing the right thing!

As for your anger -- you need to work on the head stuff! (it's more important than the intake stuff IMHO). I know I don't know you but I bet anger is a food trigger for you (in the past it was easier to eat your anger, sadness, etc . .  away than confront the emotion head on). My good friend calls it becomming a member of the Skinny *****es Club -- because now you can no longer eat those feelings away and have to speak up and let your feelings be known and deal with them head on. Don't worry so much about how others handle your new found bluntness (they didn't worry about you when you were eating instead of standing up for yourself) that's their issue to deal with in their own way.

You should also have a talk to your hubby and tell him how that dinner time affected you. Do it at a safe time when your not hungry and he's not eating a burger. Make a plan for future sheetz nights, so you are not tested like that again -- or better yet, find new favorite resturants that have healthier options for you and the family. Having a support group is very important, and your family loves you more than those burgers -- they won't mind making it easier for you (and getting healthier in the process) Believe Me! 

And remember, the bands are not "Magic" -- they don't poof away food cravings, emotional triggers, etc. They are a tool to help you be successful, but you are the one who has to decide everyday what to eat and whether or not to exercise. You're the one who does all the work and makes the right choices. You'll do great!

I have a blog that I write everyday to tell anyone who is interested what I ate the day before and whether or not I exercised. I find that helps me stay on track and gives me extra incentive to make healthy choices. You can check it out if you'd like at: thebandedlife.blogspot.com if you'd like to follow my progress (I have REALLY yummy shake recipes -- having to drink those awful Adkins shakes would make me pissed everyday all by themselves. LOL! One of the keys to success is having shakes that you look forward to drinking! 'cause if you love them, you'll drink them)

Good luck and remember, it's a journey not a destination

lap band and realize band it's basically the same thing as far "bands" go...

 I just read everyone's replies and I don't have much more to offer - but "yep been there".  My mother in law and a neighbor friend were very difficult to deal with.  My mother in law would ask what I cud eat before we went over for dinner on more than one occasion and ended up serving what I can't eat - and she asks why i only had black olives for dinner - about the 10th time she asked that nite I felt like screaming 'BECAUSE I F'ING TOLD YOU I F'ING PUKE IF I PUT A PIECE OF PORK IN MY MOUTH!.
Then a neighbor who would "hover" as I picked and choosed food for a summer BBQ.  She had a cow when i took 2 tortilla chips.  She said How can you be thin and eat chips?  Your not supposed to eat that.  First she doesn't know I bust my butt at the gym and since when did my doctor die and put her in charge of my nutrition plan.  But yep thats Bandster HELL.  But I still get the mother in law question - so what do u eat anyway.  I just reply - I high protein diet with virtually no processed food, white sugar or white flour.  Certain foods don't agree with me so I stay away from them.  Some people are just clueless.

And yes as times too I was very resentful of people eating and i wasn't - Im way over that now - I never feel deprived.  we used to get a large ice cream sundea weekly - not we get on every month or 2 and I get a jr sized.  I feel pleased that I have the discipline to have been able to reduce the frequency and the quantity and get more pleasure from that than I do the icecream itself!

It gets easier, I promise!!

Pork was one of the foods I could eat sometimes more so than any other meat approx 3-4 months out of surgery because it was soft.. pork roast anyways...

Still hands down one my favorites..

~Another thing I'm kind of upset about is, I heard so many people say, "after surgery you wont be hungry at all"~

Now this is something I feel very bad about! The first 2 wks. after surgery I had NO appetite at all. It was completely awesome to go from being hungry ALL the time.........to not even thinking about food.

Anyway I answered someones post a few wks. ago that was pre-op and I think they were very hungry on the pre-op diet. And I said that the first 2 wks. I had no appetite at all. And then she replied back  that she was so glad to hear that, and know that she wouldn't be hungry during that time. I kind of immediately freaked out and was hoping so bad she wouldn't be hungry during that time! I flet so bad that that might not be the case for her and that she would be so dissapionted and upset! I never even thought about other pre-ops reading that and expecting the same thing! :-(

Anyway if it was my post u read about no hunger the first 2 wks. I am so sorry!