Weight Loss and No Mans Land

Question?
How is it that a women can lose over 100 lbs, feeland look FABULOUS (LOL) and not be able to find a man?
Before I lost weight I was in a long term relationship with a complete butt hole who couldn't handle my weight loss. But now in the last 3 years since we broke up.  I can't catch a break and I am not sure what is really going on. LOL 

I guess I never thought about it...but then again I don't really care about that.  I think I have a full and happy life with or without a man.  I guess I don't understand the reason behind some women's need to have a man in their life.  Well I guess I understand one reason...one of my friends wants a family...I can understand that.  But beyond that I'm at a loss for words.  I think the more independent and self reliant you are the more attractive you are to men (because they want what they can't have).  The more desperate you are the less attractive you are to men.  Here's a perfect example.  Right after my divorce I went out on a date with a really nice guy...with the understanding that we are just friends and we'll take our time and see where it goes from there.  Well within the a week the guy brought up marriage!!!  It freaked me out and I stopped talking to him after that.  I think the fact I said I didn't want a relationship made him want me more.  

Also some people act like being single is sad and lonely.  I am neither.  I was reading a WLS pamphlet and it was listing everything it cures like diabetes, cholesterol, and so on.  It actually said it "CURES" single-hood by 50%!!!  Like being single is a disease!!!!  It's that exact attitude that has women thinking that they have to have a man. 

"CURES" single-hood by 50%!!!  This has to be the funniest thing I have read in a long time LOL

I know right!!  I would have LMAO if I saw that pamphlet!! 

I think when we lose weight we also exude a new confidence that might be intimidating to the average man.  We think we're the shizz!  lol j/k but this is interesting - 4 of my single friends made a pact in August to "stop looking" for a man actively to see if it changed things (before they were always prairie-doggin' when we were out and about, trying to find the one lol).  So, 1 is in a very healthy new relationship since November (met him at Subway on her 30-minute lunch break). Another got engaged on Valentines Day after dating a great guy since October (met him at an industry seminar one evening that her job sent her to).  The other 2 are still single but have MUCH more hope now and (thankfully) no longer do 25 laps wherever we are at looking for a "good" guy to meet.

Not sure if that helps but it sure did give me insight about a vibe we might put off if we are actively looking as opposed to meeting someone by chance. You're verrrry pretty.  It will happen and will be over-the-top phenomenal. There is somebody for everybody. :)

Like being single is a disease!!!! 

LOL! I'm with you 100%.
 
After my divorce, I was horribly lonely. I went through one bad relationship after another. Eventually I decided that I was fine on my own (with the company of my cats) and just went about my business, doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it, working & supporting myself, traveling, eating alone in nice restaurants, going to movies alone, etc. etc. And it was only then that a busybody coworker told me I needed a man and introduced me to the guy who's been my husband for nearly 24 years.

Jean

I have lots of single friends and it has nothing to do with being heavy/thin or looking fabulous...let's face it, there just aren't a lot of men worth having out there! Be patient and wait for the right one for you!

Thanks for replying lady's.

The one thing that I think I have learned from this whole experiance is to be alot more picky about who I give my time to.  When I reflected on my pass relationships they were with losers.  Manyly because I didn't know my worth (which I now know ) and allowed my weight to effect my view of myself.  I am happy with myself and my life with or without a mate becasue it is me who makes me happy.  However I do want a family and it takes a partner to do that. LOL  I have had many men who wanted to date me but I am being picky this time around and waiting for "Mr. Right" and not "Mr. Right Now".  So I guess I just answered my own question, I've been single for 3 years because I am holding out for the man for me LOL

I feel ya I'm in the same..

I always thought I was single because I was heavy and not attractive.. but thinner I still find myself single.. I have dated some but no real relationship.

I don't no choice but to wait and see what happens LOL
But I do want a relationship and I don't want to be single.. I have been single forever and being self sufficent is great yes I pay my own bills and take care of myself and I have an active social life that doesn't take away from the fact that I would like a boyfriend.. and it's not just about sex it's about compainionship.. so I feel ya girl..

Yes being confident and self reliant is attractive but careful using the word independant my guy friend always tell me to put Beyonce away when I meet guys.. because guys want to feel needed even if they aren't.. just my two cents.

You all have made me laugh so much reading this string of posts.. but when I found my husband I wasn't looking.. I more or less tripped over him.. I was finally focusing on me.. instead of worrying about finding the right guy.. I know that sounds like a line.. but when I was content on who I was, and just out there to make friends, and NOT find the next Boyfriend or Husband is when I was more myself and it worked out.

You seem like an awesome girl, and "Mr. Right" is probably dealing with his own trouble, trying to find a great girl.. you two will connect.

Guess I will always be a true romantic.. sending good thoughts your way.

Country -v

Don't look for it, than it tends to find you.

I really enjoyed being single and normal sized. So many men so little time! I had no plans of looking for long term, and than boom, he walked into my life! I have NEVER been happier.