Off track after miscarriage...anyone else?

I had lap band 1/09 and was very pleased with my progress.  I got down to within 5 lbs of my goal weight and had found my sweet spot.  My husband and I were thrilled to find out we were pregnant in July.  I had my band unfilled and admittedly probably went a little too hog wild!! Sadly we lost our baby (our first pregnancy) in September.  Ever since then  I have had trouble getting back to my sweet spot. I was at a perfect place and I cannot seem to get back there.  I have gained 15-20lbs.  Enough already...I need to get back on track. Anyone have similar experience or words of encouragement??? Thanks!!

You might want to try posting this on the OH pregnancy board.

We get off track for a hundred reasons, and it can be a real challenge to get back into the same gung-ho frame of mind we had as new post-ops. I was completely unfilled after a band slip in 2009 and regained 25 lbs. I had just begun getting re-filled when my danged port flipped over, and for various reasons couldn't get that fixed for another 6 months (talk about frustrating!). When I finally began getting fills again, my experience of restriction was 180 degrees different from the way it had been the first time around. I felt like a clueless newbie again and I had to learn a whole new set of satiety signals and eating habits. At times I wanted to cry, "God, why did you change the rules on me?" But eventually I got the hang of it (again) and lost the weight I had regained.

I used to work with a young woman who had miscarried her first child early on in her pregnancy and she was still struggling with the grief and disappointment a year later. You've had to deal with that as well as dealing with your weight issues...that can't be easy. I don't have any children but one of the reasons I read your post was because it made me think of my former coworker, who I happened to see today. She doesn't work there any more because she's a stay at home mom now with a stepson and a new baby to keep her busy. Her story had a happy ending and so can yours.

Maybe you need a band refresher course with your surgeon and/or whoever does your fills and/or nutritionist? Do you feel like you've worked through your feelings about losing your baby, or do you think maybe a support group could help? I know there are miscarriage support groups online and I'll bet you can find an in-person one if you ask at your obstetrician's office or the nearest hospital.

Good luck!

Jean

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I've been there.  Seven times.  It is horrible and tragic and  you must allow yourself to really grieve and go through the process of healing.  You aren't going to just bounce back immediately, I've tried and it was so much worse than when I gave myself the time and the space to be angry.

And maybe you HAVE gone through your grief and you are just ready to move on and get back on track.  If so, then take it a day at a time.  Go for a walk.  Do some yoga.  Be gentle with yourself at first.  I cannot stress that enough.

I know that the conventional wisdom is just jump back it hard gain back the ground you lost as fast as you can.  People try and bounce back from a miscarriage like it was nothing, like it didn't really affect them.  You got to within 5 pounds of your goal once, you will do it again.  Look at it as your process for preparing your bady for pregnancy again.  Perhaps thinking of it in those terms will help keep you motivated and in a good head-space.

Again, sending you love.  I'm so very sorry.  There is nothing that anyone can say and I know that after each of my miscarriages, I was elbow deep in brownies and ice cream.  Oh, and wine.  Mucho, mucho vino.  I can't imagine dealing with it while trying not to undo all that I've accomplished.  But you made it this far, you are strong enough to do it again.  Be gentle.