Buyer's remorse before you buy

I will apologize in advance because this may be long.

I started this process on March 24, 2010 (first info-session) on a military base.  I have lost and regained weight for the last 15 years.  I saw the Lap-Band commercial with the people who have had surgery and are not pencil thin and the lady says, " I just need a little help."  I thought that's me-I can lose weight, just can't maintain.  Researched the surgery on-line and headed to the info-session.  At the end of the info-session the doctor asked everyone, "What surgery they were interested in?"  I answered, "Lap-Band."  As I walked out the door, he advised the Sleeve may be more appropriate for me.  I listened as he spoke about the three surgery types, Lap-Band, Sleeve and RNY.  I heard the benefits of the Sleeve, however, I did not want major surgery (for lack of a better word). 

He told me we would meet and discuss the Sleeve.  We were never able to and I just figured he knows better than I do.  Well, I began to visit with a Support group and listened and all 3 surgery types seemed happy.  I joined OH and started on the Sleeve forum.  After 8 months in November, I realized that the military base was never going to perform my surgery.   You see my surgery is elective and has no priority when compared to operating on returning soldiers etc.  I totally understand that.  However, no surgeries were being performed and 3 doctors had come and gone--deployed to the war. 

I made the decision to see a private doctor.  That decision gave me two surgery options--Lap-Band or RNY.  After seeing all of the revisions to something else and the initial doctor's response made me feel the band would not be good for me.  I then steered to RNY.  Well, I have visited the support group of my new surgeon and I trust him.  He is the best in the area and he does not feel that with my body type (athletic) that I need RNY.  I can lose 60 lbs. from where I am now and look fantastic.  My surgery is scheduled for this Wednesday and I know I need to stop looking on OH until after because I was OK with my surgery until today.  I was catching up on OH and saw some pretty discouraging posts.  I have been on the forums for the Sleeve, RNY and Lap-Band and this forum has the least satisfied members as well as the least amount of participants.  I am tired of being overweight and I could wait to try and see if my insurance will begin to cover the Sleeve.  However, my insurance (government) tends to approve things like 2 or more years after everyone else. 

My husband says we can self-pay for the Sleeve.  I am seriously in a query because I want to do something but I want to do the best thing for me.  The Sleeve sounds like a really good fit but I would have to wait until the summer to have the surgery.   I want to do something now.  Am I making a mistake?  Am I the only one that has gone through this or have you guys felt similar?  Is this buyer's remorse before purchasing? Thanks in advance for your support--I need it. 

I'm not sure it's buyer's remorse. Just a very natural confusion about making the right decision when the decision is so big and so important.

I never had any doubt about which surgery to have, so I can't help you with that. But I do want to comment on this statement:
The Sleeve sounds like a really good fit but I would have to wait until the summer to have the surgery.   I want to do something now. 

I understand that you want to do something now, but you need to keep in mind that the band doesn't produce instant weight loss for most people. It requires fills - usually several - before you achieve optimal restriction and weight loss. Whereas the sleeve starts working right away. So let's say you have band surgery on March 9th, and your first fill a month later, your second fill a month after that, and round about mid-May, you start feeling restriction and losing weight. That's not much better than waiting until summe to get the sleeve, if you figure summer starts on June 21st.

Jean

As usual Ms. Jean you have made me say HMMMMMMM!  Of course, in my best case scenario frame of mind-I will begin to lose right away with the band.  Also, in my mind I felt I would be one of the fortunate successful bandsters like yourself and would see some significant weight loss by summer.  If everything worked out like I planned I would save myself from having a more invasive surgery.  Am I seriously dreaming or what? 

I hate to tell you this, but my weight loss in the first few months after surgery was due to dieting, not my band!

I am in the eye of the tiger-diet mode and plan on capitolizing on it.  As soon as I don't have to chug down those darn Opti-fast shakes.  I would give anything for a really cold Premier chocolate shake right now. 

I know you have researched WLS for a year now, but it seems to me that you're unsure of which is best for you and that's not good.  In the last year you have prepared yourself mentally for 3 different surgeries.  You need to make sure that you are 100%  ready or cancel and take time to think about it more.  You need to be ready for the lap-band and the rules and life style change.

For me the band was my decision right from day 1.  My surgeon even recommended the RNY but I knew I wanted the band, I had researched it and waited for it to be approved in the US for 2 yrs.  I have done wonderful and many others have too.  I'm not on here a lot because I have moved on with my life and sometimes forget I even have the band.

You can check out my profile, but I was in my 20's with small children and I was a lightweight with a BMI just at 40 or so.  I had the surgery on a Friday and was back in work on Tuesday.  Recovery for me was so quick.  I knew if I just had some help losing AND maintaining I could keep the weight off.  It's been almost 7 yrs and I have been at goal weight for about 4 yrs, no fill in 4 yrs.  My surgeon was not aggressive with fills which allowed me to NEVER need an unfill.  I lost slowly but consistently. 

If the sleeve seems to be a better fit for you than I would personally wait and get that done.  I personally think so many people get the band that have not reseached enough and don't truly realize how much dedication, and follow-up it takes in the first few years to use this tool.  Don't settle on the lap-band, get it because you feel it's your best choice-if not you will not only regret it, but you'll be another person on here wanting a revision.

Good luck-we all want people to succeed and I wish you the best.  If it's the band you want in the end then I'll look forward to your upcoming posts.  Kari

Thanks for responding.  I hear everything that you have said.  First let me say this process has been daunting emotionally.  I have been up and down for a year.  As I look back I am mad at myself that I have not hit goal in a year without WLS.  After every setback, I have almost thrown in the towel.  When I finally switched to the Lap-Band I was like well, this is what I went for initially.   I felt comfortable!  Tonight I am questioning myself because I have felt pretty good with my liquid diet until today.  I have been drinking the shakes every 2 hours and I just felt lethargic and did not get my shake ontime.  I began to feel yucky.   I am nervous and afraid of taking such a bold step and fail. 

I feel for you ... making the decision to have weight loss surgery is a BIG deal. It literally took me years to finally decide to go with it. I am so very glad that I did.  But it's so challenging going through all the what ifs and trying to find a surgeon.

Your need to lose 60 pounds would put you in the "lightweight" category of weight loss surgery patients -- those are the ones that statistically tend to see the best results from the band. 

One thing to consider though about being athletic: I have always been very active and been an exerciser long before the band and in the beginning I thought "GREAT! I've already go the exercise part of this equation nailed. All I'll have to work on is my eating. Well, no -- even though you are athletic -- remember your body is already used to this level of movement and it's likely you will need to increase it a good amount to see good weight loss results. Most of the people I see on this board that have really superb and quick results didn't use to exercise much and then took it up after getting banded. Just something to keep in mind that you might need to step up the exercise for it to "count".

After working on this for nearly a year now, I can understand your want to get moving on this, but please take your time and try to think long term. If you really feel the sleeve is the best choice for you a few more months isn't going to be a big deal in the long run.

My best to you,

Trixie

Thanks for responding, everything you said makes sense.  During this process I have had to question so much.  I must tell you when we came full circle back to Lap-Band I felt comfortable because this was what I wanted initially.  I have done every diet and program.  I am a good program follower but as soon as it is over it is over.  I go from one end of the spectrum to the other there is no happy middle for me.  I thought the Lap-Band would be the last and final piece of the puzzle for me.  I am praying that to be true.  Congratulations to you on your success.

Well some of us on the forum tried to tell you what would be best for you based on the statistics and personal experience and observation of the band but you just wanted to argue with us and tell us how great the band would be for you...............so just get your band!

Good luck!!!