My co-workers have changed towards me post-op...

I have noticed that many of my co-workers have changed towards me after I returned to work post-op. The same people I laughed and joked with seemed a bit cold when I returned to work. One of them even said, "I don't see any difference, did you get the surgery?" Now I truly understand why people lie about their surgery and tell noone.

I had my surgery 12/15/10 and one of my best friends at work didn't speak to me for over a month. She is extremely obese and we used to go to the gym together..She was so jealous cause I had this done and had insurance coverage. We are now speaking and she is walking and started eating a little healthier.. I stay my distance.. My neighbors and friends....some are extremely jelous other say how great I look. You can see it in my face.  I learned not to pay attention to them and continue to do what I know is right. They ask so many questions now its incredible. You thing you had plastic surgery or something extreme.  This is s slow process and they think the weight is going to come off like gastric by-pass...I felt right from the start not to tell too many people simpley not to have to explain myself to everyone...good luck and success in this new journey...

Unfortunately it happens, not only with coworkers but with so called friends......... I say so called because since I lost the weight they have changed not sure why I guess I am no longer the "funny fat girl", they are no longer the thinnest in the group.......either way I figured they are just jealous, even though they know that I work my a** off, at the gym 5-6 times a week and try to eat right no matter what if someone asks how I did it the first words out of their mouths is "oh she had the lap band" like it is the easy way out.

I have some coworkers that have never even said anything even though I have lost almost 100 pounds......even one of my sister in laws didn't say anything..............crazy.... although I must say that I too have changed since the weight loss, I dress different, feel more confident, carry myself different so some of it may be me.

Don't let it bother you too much, no matter how hard you work at losing weight some will always think you took the easy way out or be jealous...........we have no control over how others act just how we let it affect us.......... so try not to let it get to you and just know that most all of us have been there and it isn't you......................

I also know two people who got the band after I did and haven't lost much......needless to say I don't hear much from them anymore either.

Michele

I can sympathize. I told everybody about my WLS - I'm surprised I didn't stop strangers on the sidewalk and tell them - and later regretted it.

It's too bad if your co-workers treat you differently or coldly, because most of us spend a lot of time with our co-workers, like it or not. But are these people *****ally matter to you? Do you truly care what they think of you? If they say something to you that offends you, can't you just say something humorous to blow them off? For example:

Idiot: I don't see any difference, did you get the surgery?
You: No, I didn't. I decided to spend a week in Jamaica instead.

Or if they something that deeply offends you, you could say something like: "I don't know what I ever did to offend you, but I can't believe it was so bad that you feel you can talk to me this way" and walk away.

So, they label you as a snob, or a crybaby, or whatever. Is their opinion that important to you? Are they making it impossible for you to do your job? If so, report it to Human Resources, or get another job (not so easy nowadays, I realize).

Finally, you need to remember that some people will feel uncomfortable about your WLS because they have weight issues of their own and are jealous, or they're misinformed, or they're downright mean. Don't waste too much energy on those people.

Jean

Shake them haters off! The best revenge - GET FINE, AND STRUT YOUR STUFF, BOO!!!!!! But you're right, that's a big reason folks don't share!

All the people I work with know I have had WLS.  I am very lucky because I have the best bunch of work friends ever.  Even the people at work I don't know that well (I work at a big company) have said words of encouragement or complimented me.  I have not been so lucky in the friends department.  My best friend who I have known since I was 6, had complications with her band and had to have emergency surgery to remove the band.  They couldn't put another one in because of extensive scarring.  Well since then she has regained about 150 lbs.  Now she is depressed about her weight gain and jealous about my success and she has not talked to me in a couple of months.  She just stopped talking to me. 

Cma, how sad about your best friend! On one hand I can somewhat understand as I can look back and think of times where I pulled away from my friends due to my own depression, but, geez, how sad for you to lose such a close friend.

I hope she finds her path to success (would a revision be possible, I wonder?) not only for weight loss, but also to overcome her depression, and comes around to patch up your friendship.

I have head similar stories from other people after major weight loss, but that doesn't really prepare you for it to happen in your own life.

Lindsey

I am sorry that people are treating you differently and I'm very sorry that the one felt the need to make such a rude and insensitive comment!

People never cease to amaze me with what they think is acceptable behavior.

Hang in there and remember you did this for you!
Lindsey

I'm sorry to hear that people have changed towards you.

I had my LapBand on 1/18 ...I did tell everyone at work, my family, and my friends.  I am VERY lucky.  I have nothing but support from everyone.  Even telling people at work I found out that a new girl that was hired had the LapBand in 2009.  So needless to say we have grown closer at work.  Now we talk about it all the time and I run to her with any questions.  

I think everyone at your job will come around soon.  At least I hope so.

Denise