Don't Get The Band If You're Not Mentally Ready

I have not done well with the band. I knew going into this that I would have to make lifestyle changes. It seemed like it was going to be easy at first but has really become a challenge for me.
I find myself eating too fast, eating/drinking slider foods, because it just seems like such a big inconvenience to sit and spend 30 - 45 minutes every time I eat. I eat stuff that I know will go down quick.....Bad stuff.
Listen to me, people. The band works. Mine does anyway.
I have just learned how to manipulate it. I need a good swift kick in the you know where. 
If you've read any of my other posts, you know that I was self pay, and it cost me $24,000.00 to get the thing. I know you're thinking... what a dummy. Sometimes, I think the same thing.
My husband tells me that I just need to get my mind right. Well, if I ever get my mind right, I have no doubt that the weight will start coming off. My question is... when? Why is it so hard for me to let this tool that I paid $24,000.00 for work?
Has this happened to any of you?
Please tell me that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Now that you've admitted to not having your head in the game.... are you willing to now? Admitting a problem is half the battle, so you've already accomplished solving half your problem. Do you think you would benefit going for counseling? I did for awhile. It really helped me get my mind on where I needed to be with my band. Then I started reading Geneen Roth's books about Compulsive eating & Emotional Eating and that has really worked. I'm not fighting the band so much & I'm not fighting the emotional aspects of eating either. She really dives into the reasons going all the way back to your childhood as to why we've become obese. Her website is at http://www.geneenroth.com/ if you want to check her out.
Meanwhile... HUGS!!!! for at least taking a step and admitting your head wasn't there in the beginning. And for admitting it publicly also. Uber Hugs!

I was there too. My head out of the game. When I started having problems with my band I checked out mentally and I re-gained 60 of the 100lbs I lost. I am finally checked back in now and I struggle everyday. I wish I had never fallen off because it seems harder this second time around. I work for every single pound. Every day. Every pound.

Take it one day at a time. Don't think about lost time, or shouldda, wouldda, couldda's... just DO it. Do it now for yourself. You are only cheating yourself.

I find that logging in here, and blogging keeps me accountable. I still stumble, I still make mistakes, but each day is a new day and a fresh start. Hang in there!! ((hugs))

I was self pay also.  It cost me $16,000 with 5 years follow up including  fills.  I have kept my weight off.  The cost was a good motivator for me.  It was hard earned money that I used.  Oh well,  I do have my moments where i eat my chocolate and slider foods.  One of the things I have learned on my lap band journey and about myself is, you really have to learn what your lifestyle is and how your mind works in relation to eating and stress.  Also what are your trigger foods.  I keep all  my trigger foods and slider foods out of the house.  If they are here i will not stop eating until the package is empty.  I think it took me over two years to get a handle on that.  If I need a chocolate fix, and I do several times a month, I go out and get the most obscene chocolate dessert and eat it.  Then  I am done for several weeks.  I enjoy every bite.  I keep track of what I eat everyday good or bad.  I hate to exercise and do as little as possible.  I did find out it is not what you do, but that you do something you like consistently.  I aim for 4 or 5 days a week and about 20 minutes on my glider.  If I can't stand to do it all at once I just do a few minutes at a time til I work up to 20 minutes or whatever suits me that day.  I can go two weeks without exercising.  I really did have to change my lifestyle, but I did it in a way that works with who I am.  At my age, I am one of the older ones on this forum, I know I can't  change who I am, but I did find a way that works for me and my weaknesses.  This has kept me below goal for 5 years. Hopefully your husband is helpful and supportive.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it just might take you a little longer to see it.  Good luck. 

I feel your pain.  I have been "off track" for over a year after losing my job (April 09) , moving back to my home state and searching for that hard to find job.  However, as of right now I'm back "on track".  Fortunately, my weight hasn't changed much since all this BS started.  I lost another 10 pounds last spring (yard work) and have gained it back over the winter (because of eating whatever I wanted).  I had a very serious talk with myself.  I'm also self pay (still paying).  I know people who have gained all their weight back after WLS and I don't want to do that.  I've spent and spending lots of $$ to have this tool (really tough with no job) so I've decided I'm not going to waste it.  It's not just the money though, I feel so much better when I'm "on track", physically and mentally.
Have that chat with yourself and track everything you eat.  I have the Realize band and they have a wonderful website to track all your food, liquids, vitamins and exercise (I don't really use that!!).  But there are other sites where you can do that.
Good luck and let's do this together!!

IMHO? Don't get ANY WLS if you're not mentally ready!  

I have the same surgeon as you.  Talk to the ladies in the office there.  As you know, a lot of them have had WLS and I'm sure they can offer advice and help to get you back on track. 

You're not alone. Most obese people have to work hard to lose weight and maintain that weight loss, no matter what means they use to lose the weight. It's a lifetime job. But consider the alternative...remaining obese....having a stroke or a heart attack at age 43...never getting to do the things you want to do, dance at your granddaughter's wedding, go ziplining across a canyon, whatever...

I consider my band a huge success, but I have to work at this every day. Counseling has helped me a lot. If you can find a therapist who's experienced with WLS and/or eating disorder patients, or even just one that "clicks" with you, you can begin learning the "whys" and more importantly, the "hows" of managing your weight and living the life you want to live.

There IS light at the end of the tunnel. When I began my WLS journey, I was hoping just for improvement...to get to 50% functioning. To my utter surprise, I found myself at 90% functioning and thinking, "This is fabulous! If I'd known life could be this great, I would've started working at this a lot sooner." Well, better late than never.

One more thought...a therapist that I saw when I was in my 30's once told me that she would discount the cost of my sessions because I was having financial and insurance problems, but she insisted that I pay at least $1.00 per session out of my own pocket. That was because of the "you get what you pay for" syndrome. She said that patients who have to pay for counseling out of their own pocket actually do better than those whose sessions are paid for 100% by insurance. So it's quite possible that you're $24.000 ahead of me...or you can be if you decide to make your investment pay off. It may not pay off $24,000 all in one day, but in maybe 5 years, it may have paid off $24,000 plus another $24,000 in the form of a better quality of life, better health, greater longevity...

Hang in there!
Jean

We had surgery about the same time and I remember your posts. I agree with Bette you have to have your mind set for any type of WLS. And I believe most of us have had our bad times. Getting your head back into it,is the first step and the hardest, to me. My suggestion is to try and remember what it was like when you were first banded. Go back to basics if you can. Follow your Dr's rules to the tee. Even if you feel like you are starving, remember being hungry in the beginning before fills? Start exercising if you've stopped, even if it's just walking. Make sure you are drinking your water. I agree it's a pain, all the work we have to do, no matter what type of WLS we've had, but unfortunately the only way to keep the weight off is work. After a couple of weeks of eating right, figure out if you need a fill or are you too tight. When that darn head hunger comes back, fight it with all you can, drink a full glass of water, read a book, call a friend, whatever it takes. Write down everything you eat, get rid of all the bad foods, it's much harder to eat if you have to go out and get it. We are all here, there is a light. I hope it all works out for you!!