Who are you?

I have finally come full circle are realize who I am is not equated to what I look like-how much I weight or what I have accomplished.. It is rather to the core or who I am as a person.  When someone asks you on an interview Who are you?  you do not answer I am so and so I weight 200+lbs I wear a size 18 and I hate the way I look.  You think about who you are.  What you have to offer the world and this job.  

 

As obese persons we need to remember we are "more" then what we weight and what we look like.  Make a list of the things you like about yourself not weight related and put it in you wallet.  When you are feeling bad about how you didn't make the right choices this day and may have fallen off the wagon take that list out before you start beating yourself up and read it.  Be grateful for all the people you have in you life that love you are worry about you.  Be grateful  for the child who loves you and thinks you are the best mom or dad in the world.  (if this is you be really grateful that they are not teenagers and still feel this way. lol)  Feel blessed that you have a roof over your head money to pay your bills and a brain in your head to figure how to get a job done.  To live in a county that has the technology to help us achieve almost anything we could conceive and the freedom to do so if we choose.  We could be that perfect weight/size but that does not guarantee us happiness.  We need to be happy with ourselves now at any size/weight to even think that we will be happy when we get to that magical place.  What would you put on your wallet list.

What an awesome realization. It took me many years to figure that one out! I haven't been very successful with the band(long story) but I did realize that no matter what my weight is I am still a damned awesome person with many great qualities and none of this depends on how much I weight. We are all awesome just because we are us!

I agree.  I just wanted to but this out there because I know that sometime we get caught up on the scale or weight victory as a sign of success.  I don't think you will be denied excess to heaven if you are over weight but you will be denied if you are not a person who contributes to this world.  At least I hope that is true.  lol.  I am having success with my weight surgery. I don't weight 300+lbs.  Am I were I would like to be?  No but that is the point.  I think we always will want something even if we were that magic size or weight.  I can't imagine anyone waking up one day and saying OK I have everything I need or want. I don't want anything else from my life. I'm good thanks. That is why we need that wallet list for those time we compare our selves to others who seem to be doing better at the game of life.

Great post Butterfly!

For years I was defined by my looks, always the girl with the pretty face...if only I could lose 20 lbs.  I focused so much on my looks that I gained 150 lbs!  Boy, did I show "them"!  All when I should have been doing things that pleased me and focusing on developing into a human being that made a difference in the world through my actions, not my looks!

Once I became obese, I was defined by my job.  I had a job that many people admire, (Clothing Buyer for a major department store), and I was good at it, although I never really believed that I had skill and talent.  I always thought I got my job through luck or was simply in the right place at the right time eventhough I worked like a dog, moved all over the U.S. during my 20's and 30's and never took time to really look at what I was doing to myself physically and emotionally!  That job that defined me for so many years was eliminated and consolidate at the end of 2008.  The company I worked for my entire working life, 28 years, cut me loose without a second thought!

So, with a lifetime of focusing on my looks and subconsciously destroying them and working a job that I loved but wasn't appreciated for, I finally learned 2 things unexpectedly.

1.  I'm more than a pretty face-  At 330 lbs I met my DH who is average weight on line.  He fell for me not for my physical attributes, (although he thinks I'm beautiful, fat or thinner and was able to see the real me through all the weight I was hiding behind), but for the real me!  The person I am, the loving, caring, smart, Christian woman who loves her family and is a faithful friend and kind of funny too!  It's taken some time but I'm learning to see myself through his eyes.  After all, why would such a great guy marry me if I didn't have some redeeming qualities?

2.  I'm valued-I found myself another job within the same company in a totally different area of work.  The focus is service oriented and not fashion/appearance oriented.  Here I'm appreciated for my years of experience, integrity, ability to learn quickly, work efficently and my dedication to the job and the team.  I just had my WLS a few months before I changed jobs so they saw the real me and joyfully celebrated with me the loss of each and every 118 lbs!  It's so nice to be valued for who you are vs. what you look like.

As a Christian I believe that there is a master plan and when I listen, there is usually a reason for everything that happens.  Today I'm still learning to love myself.  I'm doing the work to understand why I turn to food for every emotion , and I have lots of new perspective regarding my history and why I am the way I am.  Best of all, I believe in my ability to make new choices and change things I never thought I could control.  Thanks to my band, I have a partner that helps me know when enough is enough.  Thanks to this site I have hundreds of new friends that know what it's like to be obese and have walked in my shoes and that kind of understanding is invaluable. 

While I still spend a lot of time working on self-improvement, I'm also able to appreciate how far I've come and how fortunate I am to have my health, a job, family, friends, lots of animals and freedom.

Focus: Appreciation and progress, not perfection.

Lisa O.

Lisa O.

This is a great way to look at life! This very sentiment is part of my personal "manifesto" and I have lived by that for a very long time.

I feel lucky to be constantly surrounded by people who love me and accept me no matter what. Even growing up a morbidly obese child, I can't recall any instances of being made fun of. I know that not everyone is so lucky and I know that life's experiences can really play a big role on your self-confidence.

From child-hood to adulthood I have been lucky. I recently told my husband that when we were married I weighed more than I ever have in my life and he just said "I wouldn't have known that if you hadn't told me - I was just happy to be marrying my best friend".

Wow that put a smile on my face.  My husband feels the same way.

I think  I've always known that, but society doesn't allow for it.  At least that's been my experience.  At my highest weight it was more about health etc.  But I think 250-225 would be a good weight for me, but I don't want anymore of societal hurt on me. does that make sense?