Help please---I am blowing it!!!!!

Sorry to use yall as a confessional, but I am about 20 months out, did really well after a rough start. Because of Katrina( I hate that name) I feel very isolated. I have lost my therapist becuase she moved to Virginia and I don't tell my shrink anything becuase that is just a waste of time. I have emailed Frances 3 times to try and find out where the support group meets in Baton Rouge but I have never gotten an answer. I am still in the mindset that if someone ignors me, then I shrink away. I am sure that some of yall know the deal. Don't feel worthy of being noticed. I am eating things that I have absolutely no business eating. But it is like a compulsion. I hate it! I am pulling my hair out, but all the time eating things that I darn well know that I have no business doing. I am so tired. I know that I am depressed. I take enough meds, but it just seems like I am sabotaging myself on purpose. I also try to self analyze, and I wonder if it is that I feel that I don't deserve to lose the weight and so I am subconsiously doing this. Don't lecture me, that is not what I need. It seems like there is no one around and no one to care. My friends are too far away and I am so busy trying to help everybody else, that I am not doing it for myself. Are there any groups around the New Orleans or Kenner area that could give me a boost or two. Meetings or groups that are support of some kind. I really need help, I don't need "know it alls" to lecture me. I, myself, have been called a "know it all" so please if you fit that category, stay outta it. Kinda like, if you can't say anything useful, then please don't say anything at all. I LECTURE MYSELF CONTINUOUSLY. I AM LOSING MY GRIP! TALK TO ME, HELP ME, GET ME THINKING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. I ONLY HAVE ABOUT 60 POUNDS TO GO AND I JUST CAN NOT AND WILL NOT MAKE IT IF I SCREW THIS UP. I can't go through this again. Books? Hypnosis? Anything to help, if you know, please come off the info. Thanks, Debbie

Hi Debbie, Sounds like you are having a very tough time and I'm really sorry to hear it. I just read your message and ran to my Outlook email to search for your messages. I have a message board reply dated March 17 when we changed our meetings to the last Thursday in the month. You emailed me on April 22 and I still have that message flagged in my inbox. I flagged it to send you a meeting reminder. I have posted maps and meeting times to the message board here and the main board. I'm sorry that you feel you are being ignored. I really thought this was reaching you and you couldn't make it. If you have emailed me after April 22nd, I didn't receive them. Our meeting was April 27 and it was just a very supportive time, but a small turnout. One person is very important to me. It only takes two to make a support group. I have your cell phone number and I'll email you mine. My surgeon uses the same doctor as Dr. Martin and I'll talk to him tomorrow to see what aftercare arrangements Dr. Martin has worked out through Vista. Another of Dr. Martin's patients is very active in our support group, Tina. We aren't big time professionals. Just patients and just friends. All we can provide is support, but I can tell you that we care. I hope to talk to you soon and I will talk to Dr. LeBlanc near close of business day today. All my best, Frances

Debbie, Since I too am one of those "know it all" types, I'll refrain from advice that probably won't do much to help... but I will tell you two "factoids" that I hope will help... Frances WILL call you, if you email her your number... she's one of the most awesome supportive people I have ever met! Yes she's a busy person (aren't we all) but she will never ignore you on purpose. OHLA is an amazing group, and definitely worth the trip I know I'm kinda far away, being all the way out in TX now... but I wanted you to get a BIG BIG SURVIVOR HUG from me... because it WILL get better... and you CAN make it, even though you have doubts... I believe in you!

Hello Debbie and anyone else struggling to find support and services Post-K: I spoke to Dr. Karl LeBlanc today and he is in regular contact with Dr. Martin and other surgeons working bariatrics at Vista post-katrina. He was not sure of what support and aftercare arrangement Dr. Martin had in place, but he first suggested to contact Dr. Martin at Vista to see if he has some plan in action. Next, I have a series of free and for-charge options for you to consider. Free -- OHLA. Our next support group meeting will be Thursday, May 25th, starting at 6:30 p.m. at the BREC facility on Indpendence Park near the foot of Government street. We are trying to arrange activities outside of this Thursday night and we have also met for playdates at an indoor rec area for those of us with small children...well, Ashleigh came and she doesn't have kids. It's a win-win cause the kids play and we talk, share, giggle and compare notes. Paid groups -- Most surgeons have support groups for their patients and will offer these same services for a small price to patients who were treated in Mexico or just with other doctors in the States. New U is one such group and their meetings are the first Thursday of each month. They meet at a very nice catering hall/banquet facility and they bring in very good speakers and professionals to aid in our development. This group has a high-degree of professional-level care and bariatric surgeons do attend the meetings. A month's meeting is less than $10 and one year's support group membership is less than $90 a year. Membership includes support group meetings, phone support/reminders, emails, monthly newsletters and group perks at some restaurants and fitness facilities. We can also make suggestions about nutritionists and counselors who have participated in the meetings before. If someone wants to attend OHLA events, there is no costs and family and children are welcome to attend. For more information about joining New U, please email me for a name and number to secure your membership. Spouces are also welcome and encouraged by New U. I have no lectures of even tips. I'm no professional. I am a former 350-pounder striving to be a 250-pounder and one day a 100-anythinger. Let's put our minds together and see what we can do to help each other. Onward! Frances

Frances, Your amazing girl,, I miss you soooooooooooooooo much,, when am I going to see you again, I am having withdrawls!!! I definitly want to join those groups new u ,, my dad agreed to pay any fee's ,, let me know the details,, Since its been sooo hard for me to go to doc o's meetings,, thanks girl,, also have you talked to supa doc about taking me on as a pt,, thanks a mill I know your busy as crap with everything, life, and that wonderful pack of energy you have running around chasing the cat at home!!!! Call me girl or I'll stalk you like a rock star groupie!!!! I am planning my wedding and need some friends advice and tips!!

Honestly, you may frighten people off the way you put this on here, but I know Surgical Specialists of LA have weekly support groups in Metairie. I am not sure if they are only for their patients, as I am one of their patients. Their website is (whyweight.com), as well as they have monthly meetings on the Northshore.

Hey....I hope things get better for you soon! I can relate to pulling the hair out!!!! Dr. O has meetings at St. Tammany the third monday of each month. The 15th is the next one. He was my surgeon. Everyone there is awesome!!! I missed the last two, but plan on being there Monday night!!

Debbie, Hey I am Ashleigh, I am sure you've seen some of my pledding post on here and also some happy ones! Gosh I am moody alot!!! Well I know what your going through babe, and I wish I can say it gets better , which it does at times, but I have struggled with depression,cutting myself, and pulling my hair out also for the past 10years,, some years the thoughts don't cross my mind some years I am HORRIBLE,, I guess it**** or miss, I am also on meds which helps sooooooooooo much,, and I believe support groups and therapy are a huge asset,, I wouldn't live without them,, I know the ordeal of finding a new therapist, I am struggling with that now and don't want to waste 10 sessions explaining my life before I can work on current situations , so I don't bother,, But I definitly need to look into it,, my old habbits are coming back and my eating habits aren't the greatest,, I think everyone needs friends family and or a support system that is strong,, I also was a victim of the hurricane and lived in metairie , now I am in baton rouge for good,, I don't know of any groups up and running right now in metairie or kenner due to the hurricane but there must be somewhere open that can share all this info with you,, If you can see if you have the money to join the new u group,, its a great doc and group,, I am borrowing money from my family since I am broke, but I know it will help,, it also helps to talk, so good thing you are talking,, your words are a little strong, but I personally understand b/c I can tell your in soo much pain,, someone who has never dealt with depression or any kind of mental illness may take it different which isn't wrong or bad they just don't fully understand,, I looked up some groups in the baton rouge area, by just entering baton rouge groups on the search and I don't know if its a option to come here for groups or not,, but if you have internet access try looking up new orleans groups,, you do have to look through several pages to find some but its worth it,,, PLEASE come to the ohla meetings I would love to meet you,, Frances is a AMAZING person and if she forgot or missed your email I know it was sheer accident , plus she's been realllllllllly busy lately with a new job and advances in her career and life,, give her some time ,, she will respond shes amazing again and a great person to talk to,, good luck keep me updated!

Hi all, I want to apologize for sounding crazy the other night. I am having serious problems and I am asking for help. I don't want to "scare" anyone off of the site, I am just using the site for what I thought it was meant for. I am going to look into the groups that yall talked about. It is just so hard to walk into places where I know no one. I blow hot and cold constantly lately, so as I said earlier, I am so sorry for being so blunt, but I haven't taken any steps to address these problems since Katrina, I just tell myself to knock it off and the other night was one of those nights where the insomnia was rampant, the cravings terrible and the support was none existant. Frances, I have your cell number that you sent me and I will call when I think that I can handle it, I know that everyone is busy and that everyone has their own lives to live and if you have young ones, then it is three times worse. Believe me, I was not accusing you of anything. I thank all of yall for the words of encouragement and know that we all have these roads to walk and many of us, me especially, are really concerned about falling off the wagon that I am on. I feel like it is all a balancing act and I'm not doing very well. I finally weighed myself yesterday morning and found that I have gained 4.4 pounds. To me, that is awful, 2 years ago I would have laughed at someone who fussed about gaining 4 pounds, but now that is tragic. I don't post much because I just sit on the side lines and read. Thanks for the talk Ashleigh, it helped and I am looking forward to meeting everyone at the next meeting. I am going to look into the pay meeting also, I have the money for this, I think that it is something I need, so I am going to tell my boys that if they want to give me a great Mother's Day gift, then they can pay for this. They are grown and they watched what I have been through, so I think that they will ante up. Again thank yall, it meant alot. debbie

Hi Debbie, I don't want to make you think I'm only advancing my own doctor's support group. So, I checked into Dr. Lavin's group (whyweight.com) and they will also accept other doctor's patients and like OHLA, there is no charge. I called Vista and Dr. Martin is out of town, but his office suggested that you call back next week when he returns. Tina Peak had surgery with Dr. Martin (post-Katrina) and I've replied to her message board posting this morning to see what arrangement for support he has in place. Tina is a regular OHLA support group attendee, but she lives in Livingston Parish and that's a little closer. You and Ashleigh have made me see that a great topic for OHLA discussion would be how medication and factors like depression and hormonal inbalance affect our weight loss journeys. There are so many more medical professionals affliated with the New U group so this might be a better topic for New U, but I can try both routes. My weight goes up and down and with a certain depression med, I gained 20 pounds. It seemed to take forever to lose those 20 pounds. I had a weigh-in this week and I've also gained 4 pounds. I'm able to see the positives in those four pounds and I hope we can work to see if there are any positives or *factors* in your gains also. It's just a "slap in the head" otherwise. I'm trying to achieve my 100-pounds-loss point by the end of the summer. I do think we all can gain a lot from joining our struggles and support. If nothing else, I hope you can see that you have become a priority to us. Onward! Frances