Need Support BAD!!!!!!

Well I just had my first official BREAK DOWN, I went to school today for the first time since surgery and I thought it would be a lil rough every morning one of us agree's to bring something to keep up all awake and something for breakfast,, well that just about kills me,, I sat there drinking my stupid protein drink that taste like chalk and sucked it up,, but I now have a infection on one of my incisions and went straight to convington after to see the on call doctor,, he was disapointed about my infections and re-cut open the incision< YES YOU READ WRITE , YOU USED A SCAPAL AND CUT THE DAMN THING OPEN, YIKES THAT HURT, AND NOOOOOO PAIN MEDS , COME ON.> It started pooling out and he said I seem to have gotten a "somas" type thing under my skin and muscle and said we need to watch it close and I need to clean it 3-4x a day, otherwise it could turn into a hernia, GREAT!? well on the way home I was sooooooooo hungry , all I have had all day is that shake, some crystal light lemonade and water,, so I was crying my eyes out the whole way home, I got home flew to my bed and cried and cried and cried some more,, My sister thought I was loosing it, I was sooooooo hungry and I DON'T EVER WANNA F#%## SEE FAT FREE CHICKEN/BEEF BROOTH AGAIN. Thats the only hot liquid I can have other than coffee, and I just want something that freakin seems like food ,like a meal. Like anything real,, I mean like a freakin vegetable,a nursing home patient, something like that. Of course I was good and just drank my chicken brooth but now everytime I say that world I want to cry,, PLEASEEEE tell me someone else struggled like this, They keep saying"Well ashley its going to be hard b/c your body is having to relearn what to do , you are reteaching your body that you arent really always hungry, that you eat for other reasons. well AHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's painful dammit.. I have got to have something other than fat free chx brooth. I mean for 2 weeks thats it , well that and sf popsicles,crystal light,ff milk, and protein, oh and coffee, which I don't like if its not a frappacino.. Please help guys... I knew this was going to be rough, I knew it was going to be a battle but I never heard anyone say oh I struggled or oh it was rough, everyone justs act like they skimmed through it,, HELP!!!!

Calling you now...Hold on, phones in car! Fran

Ashleigh, you waited so long for this and you finally got to have the surgery. You can do it and yes its hard. Find things to keep busy so you dont have time to eat. Drink water and it will fill you up. I wasnt even allowed protein drinks in beginning. Just jello, popscycles and broths. It will get better I promise and its worth it. Calm down and think of the good side. Let me tell you something. Last night I started trying on clothes that I used to wear, 16's mainly, when I got married a bit over 3 yrs ago I wore this really nice black western jeans and I was 20 pds lighter then I am now. I got them on last night, I was thrilled, you have no idea how excited that made me. Its worth it girl. Denise

Oh Ash....I didn't hit this point until a few weeks in! I tried the lovely gladiator from smoothie king, per joanna, it was ok. However, my body didn't like it at all!!! You can have decaf tea too, but just sweeten with sugar substitute. I mixed a little coffee/milk together, that helped, it was something different. Also, you can drink some of the carnation breakfast drinks, of course mixed in milk. I really don't know what else to say except it does **** ME OFF when people say that we (surgery patients) took the easy way out. That is so not true. Our new tummy is just a tool to help us get back to being healthy!!! It is not the easiest thing to do, we do struggle and it's hard at times!!! We most certainly have to have a lot of damn, what is the words I'm looking for....not will power or courage, but we just have to be so strong during the first six weeks. This is the HARDEST period to get through. I haven't returned to work yet so I'm nervous about that part!!! I don't know how I will react at that time. I have one incision is not healed yet. All of the others are completley healed. The one that isn't healed yet is in my fat crease. Its very nasty looking. The dr said that he had to cauterize it during surgery b/c it wouldn't stop bleeding. I guess since it's in a hot clamy place that is why it hasn't healed yet. Make sure you have someone close around you to for comfort. I have my mom right around the corner from me. Many days I'd just stay in my bed most part of the day. I felt like I was shutting down many times. I don't know what else to say Ash...just try to hang in there girl!! I know it's easier said than done!

Ashley, My surgery is on March 13--so honey you will be "chowing down" when I am on those fine liquids. Go to a get some gumbo or won ton soup and strain out the solids. It least they would have a good taste. I was told during the first stage we could have s/f fudgecicles if we could tolerate them. The NUT said it was just ice milk. That infrction thing is scarey. I did research and we (those of us with a lot of fat) are much more likely to get an infection from a surgical incision than "regular" folks. I got a staph infection from abdominal surgery about 30 years ago and it was worst than the surgery. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and just think about thos 20 lbs you are using.

ashleigh i don't know what protein drink your are drinking, but does not sound like a good one, maybe we can give you some ideas, my md allowed us full liquid at 12 weeks, which is cream soups, (but you can over do that to) trust me, it will get better. rhonda

sorry, i meant 2 weeks not 12weeks...

Ashleigh, I am sorry you are having a hard time. This time will pass and it will just be a memory. I know that does not help now. Will be thinking of you. Jodi

Ash - first off you are going to have bad days and it is really hard. Ask someone to get you some wonton soup....That was my saving vice in the first few weeks. That and popsickles. I couldn't do the broths....I just drank the liquid from the soup. These next few weeks are going to fly and soon you will be having food and not caring whether you do or not. Right now you are in a mental war and you can win....

Ashley, keep the faith sweetie, it's tough at first, but it does get better. Remember why you did this for your health and focus on that at the moment. What type of protein drink are you using? I had to try several kind before I found one I liked. If you send me your address, I'll send you a couple of samples I use. Hugs, Dana