DEPRESSED

I am just not feeling okay. I have some major issues with what I should do in my situation. I had a lapband done in 2003 to make a long story short I am having serious problems with it. I have decided for my health to remove it. I have also pursued removing it and doing the RNY. That's great if your insurance approves it. I tried through Medicaid and got denied. Needless to say I was dissapointed. Now I have Coventry, all my papers and now a letter from three of my doctors saying to get the RNY. If coventry does not approve this what am I to do? I cant and will not fix the lapband because it just is not doing anything for me except cause worse breathing problems and reflux. Not to mention I have been worse off getting it than just being at my preop weight which sadly I am back to anyway. I am not understanding why the state wont help people like me who have no home and can hardly pay bills but everyone else seems to get help. My family of three is surviving off of one income and we struggle to the point I am in tears. I feel like no one sees us needing assistance. I tried to stay on Medicaid but we make a little above the quota I was told and also told that for food stamps but yet we struggle to pay for things. I am currently not working because I am dealing with trying to feel better. My last resort will be self paying but I just cant see how we could do that again. Yes again.. I still owe alot on the lap band I am trying to remove. So I guess I am supposed to just sit here and suffer and try not to lose it waiting until 20,000 falls out of the sky or someone approves my surgery. Assistance is there for people who need it and I do need it. But no one will help me it seems. So I am torn between just removing the band and fixing a umbillical hernia or removing the band and getting the rny. No matter what I have to go in for surgery. I dont know how much longer I can safely stay with the lapband inside of me. Its already been too long. I've been suffering with it since 2003. Another thing is my husband. We went to the seminar he saw what the doctor had to say saw the patients got informed and gladly told me yes do this I would if I were you. He was being supportive of me doing the gastric bypass. Then I was being scared and started blabbing away about the RNY and the dangers and just everything and he said now that you said all of that I dont want you to have it. I also mentioned about having another baby and being scared of that after RNY. And wondering if I should have another baby before surgery then do the RNY after. Why did I do that? I needed him to be supportive and I talked him out of it. Now he doesnt even consider it. I am allowed to be scared and thats why I acted like that. I also have been delt a whole lot and just needed assurance. I am 27 years old and 5ft5 and approx. 317 pounds. I do want to extend my family but I am not sure what should be done first I do know that at this time I am very uncomfotable about my weight and also fearful of my husband if I do the RNY. I love him very much and want him beside me and not being weird if I lose weight. Many people have husbands and do wls and are fine and work as a team and I want to be like that as well. Yes change will occur because of weightloss but I think for the better. I will be healthy and be able to take care of my son and be there for my husband and most of all be happy. Anyway, If someone is even reading this this is where I am right now and I am so very sad and have no one to really counsel me about things. Or to even give their opinion.

Kit, I can relate well to your situation... if you want to call me sometime, just email and I'll give you the number. I am also a displaced New Orleanian... my Metarie townhouse was so badly destroyed that it has been condemned and we cannot return. Unfortunately my family lives in an RV in Baton Rouge now, and I work in New Orleans (for a little while anyway, trying to get a job here local to them so I can stop living in hotels downtown, alone). My "wonderful company" has insurance which covers the surgery... but decided I don't NEED it (5ft6 335 lbs) because I don't yet have high blood pressure or diabetes. So I am taking a job in Baton Rouge and leaving New Orleans because I just can't do it anymore. As for your husband being scared... have him come here, and talk to some of those who have had complications... let him see that it IS worth it despite the problems, to get your life back and be healthy again. You're welcome to bring him to our Obesity Help Louisiana group meetings (3rd Thursday of each month, in Baton Rouge) to let him talk to other patients in person Good Luck to you, and keep in touch. And try not to focus on the negative... most people's husbands are supportive, but they get scared too! Kat

Yeah insurance is hard to deal with there is so many little things with it. It's good in some ways and not so good in others. Thank you for your nice post it means alot to me. I also hope that things go well for you too!

check your coventry policy....most of them exclude it. The nurse for coventry told me to apply for disability and get the government to pay for it.

I know what you mean about the part of being depressed about your situation. I also know what you mean about being from the New Orleans Area and not being able to get much done. I understand that the doctors that where at Charity and University have set up a clinic at the convention center and when I was going through the process of applying for disability a lady doctor that the social security office sent me to told me that Charity and University do gastric bypass, they just don't advertise it. And if you are having problems with the lapband, then maybe they will remove that and do the gastric bypass at the same time. She told me that because they train doctors, they have to do the surgeries also, so just maybe. I don't know where the storm has put you, but I did have complications, serious ones, and I will tell you right now, no matter what I had to go through and continue to go through, I would do it again in a heart beat. My husband also wasn't very excited for me to have it done. He had gone to the seminar and so forth and was just afraid for me, but I will tell you, that once he knew that I was serious, he came through for me and he took care of me and he stood by me all the way. Kat---I never was able to get to any of the meetings when you were in Metairie, but I would love to go to meetings, can you tell me where and when. My email address is [email protected], Kit, I would be glad to talk to you. If you are truly depressed, you should look into antidepressants to bolster your feelings. Hang in there, Debbie

Hey thanks for being so kind. Hopefully they can fix it soon and I can get back to being healthy. Even better would me being able to do a removal and the RNY. I just have alot to think about. I also have to see how I can get the funds to do it whether working hard or finding assistance or doing it under insurance and getting approved. I did not go to a meeting in Metairie though so I am not sure where they are having any at this time. Thank you for your information!

our meetings are in baton rouge now... but I will be announcing it shortly... it's scheduled for the third thursday of each month Kat

A year ago I was also told that University and Charity were doing the gastric bypass. After much research and calling every single department just about, my fears were confirmed - they do not do it. I was told by two nurses who work there that they do it and I could not find anyone who was willing to say that it was performed there. I even spoke with surgery scheduling and was told no. I've fought for my surgery for 4 years and finally won. I hope that you are also able to have your surgery. My husband was against the surgery and then he went to the seminar. We both knew the risks involved, but were all willing to take the chance. Diane

If coventry refuses you again, there are some attorneys that may take the case for you. If it is not possible for you to pay, there is always legal aid. Because you have issues with the lapband that is currently installed you may be able to get legal assistance from legal aid or The Center for independent living(I think its called) They are or where in New Orleans, I'm not sure of their status, but with medical problems and a disability, and obesity is a serious disability, you may qualify for services through their agency to get assistance in making Coventry or Medicaid pay for your surgery. If not check withh some of the attorneys that represent people that post on this site. There are some options to your situation. Don't let people tell you NO and don't let them tell you that you are at the end of the road. There is always someone who cares. I care and so do many others. Keep pushing. Never give up. God Bless you.----Debbie

Debbie- I had my surgery at the end of November. I'm doing really good. Had very few complications. Unfortunately my husband couldn't be by my side as he was working diligently on our fence to get the two dogsin the yard before I got home. My mom was in the hospital with me, but sinceI've been home my husband has been a wonderful support. now on a nosey note I'm curious if you are related to any of the farrells I know. I used to be married to warren. I know he had a cousin Glenn and his wife was named Sharon.