Need some support Pt. 1 (long)

It's been a very rough week. Thought I'd turn to my friends here for some support and extra thoughts and prayers. My 16 y.o. son, Andrew, had 2 of his wisdom teeth out on Thursday and wasn't really able to get out of bed until Monday. His immune system is so weak after years of steroid meds for asthma. The slightest scrape usually ends up being cellulitus unless we get to the anitbiotics pronto. He's still very swollen and in pain. May have to go to some stronger antibiotics. I wish we could have gotten all four out to get it over with but because of yearly maximums on our dental I had to have 2 this year and wait until January for the other two. Just hate to put him through the anethesia and pain again but had no choice. My sister came in for a few days this weekend with her sons. She and my mom had a big huge fight and I seemed to be put right in the middle of it all. It was really awful. Anyway, my sister hadn't seen me since New Years but she does know of my progress and had seen the few pictures I have had taken. She has been extremely supportive through out my journey. The FIRST thing she said was that I was too skinny and that I looked better with more weight. I told her that I'm where my surgeon wants me to be and that this is the weight my body is settling on. Andrew had registration for school on Monday (He's a junior at an all boys Catholic school). We waited in line for the "grooming check" --If the haircut isn't according to school policy--no registration. I just took him to get the haircut the day before the wisdom teeth were pulled. Anyway, he didn't pass "inspection"--said his hair was too thick. Bunch of crap. Had to let one of the teachers cut the hair since I didn't want to drive all the way back to my end of town then back again. While we stood in line, one of his classmates (I'll call him "John") was chatting with him about different things. I remember the boy's father coming up to him and speaking to him because his dad was in a military uniform. I was thinking to myself, "I bet he'll pass the haircut inspection". Andrew told me to go ahead a sit down at that point. What should have taken 30 minutes to register ended up being 2.5 hours. Andrew didn't want to take his school pictures because of his face being so swollen. I don't blame him but there was no way around it since you have to have a school ID (they use them like debit cards for lunch, bookstore, etc.) So, there was a big hassle about that and he wasn't a happy camper. Nor was I. Later that night when I was done running around for school supplies with my daughters I got home about 10:30 pm. Andrew was very shaken and upset. He had a call from another classmate. The boy--John that he was in line with at registration--committed suicide later that day. We had only been talking with him just a few hours earlier. My son was so devastated by this. So scary and sad. Seems the boy was involved with taking Ecstacy and was coming off a high. Shot himself just outside his garage that evening. He was only 16. Tuesday I attended the funeral of my best friend's mom. She was 78 and had such a hard life. But, now she is at peace. My uncle called this morning to tell us my grandfather passed away about 9:25 am. Grandpa would have been 95 on Saturday (I think that is the day we will be burying him). It was a peaceful passing at home so I am grateful for that but just so sad. That was my last grandparent. Heck I'm 47. Most people don't have any grandparents still around by then. I had planned to see Grandpa on Monday but since the school registration took so long we couldn't get by there. To be continued..... Rhonda

RE: Need some support Pt. 2 (long) My fiance, Bruce, was suppose to have a chemical stress test on Friday and I was scheduled for an MRI--neck and brain scan--for Saturday. We were in a car accident in June and are still having problems related to all that. But, I had to reschedule the appts. due to funeral arrangements. Bruce had to come home from work yesterday and today due to severe migraines. Haven't heard any details on the classmate's funeral but I'm sure it will be soon. My son and his sister (she's 15) have never attended a funeral. I don't know how they will be able to handle someone their age. My twins are 10 and I probably won't have them at Grandpa's funeral. Seth is autistic and he wouldn't do well with this sort of thing. He knows Great Grandpa died today and has been really upset. He felt sick to his stomach and wanted a trash can by his bed in case he felt like throwing up. He is really sensitive and gets scared very easily. I thought I had been doing fine with my eating, supplements, etc. Just been extra busy with school starting this week, helping a friend move from Alabama (domestic abuse situation), etc. Got on the scale and said I was under 108 (107.4) I hope I don't have something else to worry about. I know I have been eating too much sugar and carbs (usually do when I am under stress) so that isn't helping me maintain my weight. I just wanted to get all this off my chest. Everyone here is always so supportive. Just needed to have your "shoulders to lean on" for a bit. The End Rhonda

Hi Rhonda - Nancy from Kat's first get-to-gether. It seems when it rains it pours. Sorry to hear of all the bad news - I've been dealing with a lot of stress, deaths, finances, work, etc. I used to eat, eat, eat when stressed and now I can't eat when I am under stress. I pray things become better for you soon. Today is my first year anniversary of my gastric bypass. I'm 5'9" and now weigh 152# according to Dr. Lavin's scale. I'm so happy about this - no more knee pain!!! At least one thing I can say I'm happy about. I even bought myself a present for my 1 year birthday and I never buy anything for myself. I pray God gives you the words to explain to your son how haunted his friend was and instill in him to come to you if he ever feels that sad. All my best - Nancy

SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT SO MUCH GRIEF ALL AT ONE TIME. BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU!!!! - GRANDPA WOULD WANT THIS TOO!!!!!!! BEST WISHES TO YOU

{{Hugs}} Hang in there hon... my thoughts are with you and your children.

WOW RHONDA,, I AM SOO SORRY OF ALL YOUR LOSES,, I CAN DEFINITLY RELATE,, I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF POSSIBLY LOOSING MY UNCLE< CHECK OUT MY BLOG> ALSO AS A PERSON WHO HAS/HAD STRUGGLED WITH SUCIDE ALL MY LIFE IT ALWAYS TOUCHES ME WHEN I HEAR OF SOMEONE GOING THROUGH WITH IT AND SUCCEDING,, I AM SOO SORRY,, I RECENTLY HAD 2 PEOPLE WHO WERE FRIENDS OF FAMILY'S KILL THEMSELF BOTH BOYS,, AND B/C OF SAD REASON'S< INTERNET BULLYING> IT MAKES YOU SOO MAD AND SO UPSET ALL AT THE SAME TIME,, I AGAIN AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSES AND YOUR SONS,,, MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL I LOST MY BEST FRIEND IN A TRAIN/CAR ACCIDENT , HER ALONG WITH 2 BRO'S AND 1 SISTER WERE KILLED , HER BEING THE OLDEST AT 14 AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT FUNERAL IS ONE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF MY MIND ,, I THINK IF THE BOY WAS YOUR SONS FRIEND ITS IMPT HE GO TO THE FUNERAL FOR A CLOSURE AND GOODBYE,, THATS HOPING ITS CLOSED CASKET IF HE SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD,, GOD THATS HORRIBLE,, WITH YOU BEING THERE WITH HIM FOR SUPPORT HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH IT ,, BEST OF LUCK , AND I WILL KEEP U IN MY PRAYERS!

Rhonda, I am so sorry about everything that has happened. Take care and I think your weight is perfect for you. I don't think you are skinny. Lynn J., lap RNY 9/29/04

Rhonda I'm so sorry to hear of all the stress you are under. When my daughter was in high school one of her classmates committed suicide, then when she was in college her room mate tried to take her life by taking several sleeping pills. I pray things get easier for you. Debbie

Rhonda, so sorry you have had such a bad time of it. I truly feel for you and hope things look up. I am sorry Andrew went thru so much. I lost a friend to suicide as a teenager and it was really hard to deal w/. I am also sorry to hear about your grandpa. My prayers and love go out to you and yours.

Rhonda, I'm so sorry for all of the trouble you have been going through. I saw the boy from your son's school in today's paper. I wondered what had happened. These kids have no clue at times. You look awesome and if you are happy with your weight do not worry about it. As far as Andrew's face - do the retakes when they came around. You'll both be happier. We went to registration today and warren's face is broken out beyond belief. I told him we'd just do retakes. I know about that grooming rule...to thick is a crock to me. As far as your fiance - I'm sure that in time everything will be back to normal. In high school a girl killed herself in almost the same situation, drugs, and argument with her parents and then put the gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. It was extremely hard to cope with the rest of that year. I hope that they provide some extra counselors for the kids. As far as the funeral goes Iwould assume it will be a closed casket...which may be the best first experience for your children...if you need anything at all you can always email me ([email protected]) Diane