DOWN IN THE DUMPS

HELLO TO ALL MY OH FAMILY, WELL I AM JUST SO DOWN IN THE DUMPS. I AM HOMESICK, SAD, MAD, AND I CAN'T FIND A JOB. I THOUGHT I HAD ONE WHEN I MOVED HERE, AND FOR SOME REASON THEY ARE TAKING THEIR SWEET TIME ON CALLING ME BACK IN. I NEED TO BE WORKING. THAT IS WHY I MOVED, TO "START OVER" AND I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING. I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY DAD. HE TOLD ME NOT TO MOVE BEFORE HE PASSED. IF I DON'T FIND SOMETHING BY THE END OF THIS WEEK, I MAY JUST PACK MY BUTT UP AND MOVE BACK HOME, BUT NOT SURE HOW THAT WILL BE EITHER. SINCE JODY AND I CAN'T GET ALONG WHILE IN EACH OTHER'S SITE.... SO, ONCE AGAIN, I AM ASKING FOR SOME PRAYERS AND SUPPORT. I MISS MY DADDY SO MUCH I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING CRAZY. THOUGHTS OF BAD THINGS ARE GOING THRU MY MIND, AND YES I HAVE TALKED TO SOMEONE. BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE I AM NOT GETTING ANYWHERE, AND FEEL LIKE I AM A LET DOWN. SOOOOOOO, ANY GOOD ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO????????????? I GUESS I MAY NEED TO GO BACK HOME AND TRY OVER THERE, MAYBE THINGS WILL GET BETTER BETWEEN ME AND JODY. WE GET ALONG FINE APART, AND WE HAVE BEEN APART FOR A WHILE NOW, SO MAYBE THAT OLD SAYING "ABSENSE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER" WILL PROOVE TO BE CORRECT.......HECK I DON'T KNOW.........I FEEL SO DOWN. WELL, I GUESS I WILL STOP WHINING NOW.........I WILL GO TALK TO MY DAD'S PICTURE......SOMETIMES THAT HELPS......BUT ALL I HEAR HIM SAYING, IS NOT TO MOVE TO BEGIN WITH..........OH WELL.........WE WILL SEE......... HOPE ALL IS GOING WELL WITH EVERYONE! I HOPE TO SEE SOME OF YALL SOON AT THE NEXT DINNER, IF IT IS CLOSE TO ME. I SEND MUCH LOVE, HUGS AND THANKS TO ALL!!!!!!!!! KIM

Hi Kim, I can relate. I'm down and broke and needing a job and to get well, etc. I don't have any words of wisdom except to let you know that neither of us are alone. Sometimes it helps me to know that I'm not the odd ball in this world and others are struggling and overcoming just like me. I think we've started a club and we have both earned life-time memberships. But I can say, don't look back, look forward. Anything that your dad would have told you was for the future -- not to beat you up with "I-told you-sos." Let's plot a course, make a plan or just take a nap. All seem to help me at times. Onward! Frances

BIG BIG BIG HUGS KIM! I SYMPATHIZE WITH WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH HUN. ONLY THING YOU CAN TRULY DO IS ATTEMPT TO SORT THROUGH THINGS IN YOUR HEART AND YOUR HEAD AND THEN FOLLOW THEM. ASK THE LORD TO HELP YOU IN MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS, AND GUIDE YOU TO MAKE THE WISE ONES. I KNOW BOTH YOU AND JODY, AS I HAVE SEEN YOU TOGETHER. I KNOW THAT YOU BOTH LOVE ONE ANOTHER VERY MUCH. I KNOW IT IS MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT MAYBE SIT AND TALK WITH YOURSELF, OR MAYBE EVEN SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOURSELF A LETTER. LET YOURSELF REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND FEELING. YOUR DADDY WAS A VERY SWEET MAN HUN, HE LOVES YOU DEARLY. HE IS WATCHING YOU AND WANTING YOU TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES, BUT HEY YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN HUN. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. AND DADDY'S KNOW THIS. MAKE THE CHOICE THAT YOUR HEART AND HEAD TELL YOU TO, THEN YOU CAN'T GO WRONG, BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU TRULY DESIRE SWEETIE! BRIAN AND I LOVE YOU DEARLY, YOU KNOW THE THINGS THAT THE TWO OF US HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND WE CONQUERED THEM!!! BUT ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE, PRAYER HAS WORKED MIRACLES FOR US. WE MISS YOU KIM. AND HOPE GOD'S SPEED IN HELPING YOU TO HEAL SWEETHEART. IF YOU EVER NEED US, HERE WE ARE. MUCH LOVE HUN. AFTER ALL YOU ARE MY ANGEL!!!!! GOD BLESS, LORI

Kim, I don't know you personally, but have read your posts, and have friends that say you are awesome. I can relate. I lost my mom a few years ago and my life still is not the same. You never get over it, I feel. At times you just learn to live w/ it and try to bring more happy moments in your life. As for Jody, well I don't know who that is, but I also know how it is to have someone pass, and have someone left who you can't get along w/ ....all I can say is major stress...which you probably don't need right now. I heard TX is booming w/ jobs. I don't know what you do for a living, but you seem computer savy, maybe you can find something on the internet. I wish you well.

KELLI, THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOUR FRIENDS TO SAY. I AM GETTING BETTER, BUT STILL A LITTLE DOWN. JODY IS MY HUSBAND, IN WHICH WE HAVE BEEN SEPERATED FOR A WHILE NOW, NOT DUE TO THE SURGERY FOR ONCE. I AM GLAD NOT TO BE A STATISTIC OF THE SURGERY, THINGS JUST HAPPENED, BUT HE IS STILL WITH ME THRU ALL THIS. HE SENDS ME MONEY EVERY WEEK, AND WE TALK ALL THE TIME, IT IS JUST WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER THAT WE FIGHT LIKE CATS AND DOGS.... HE HAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY ROCK..... LORI KNOWS! I THINK I WILL GET A JOB SOON, I AM THINKING MORE POSITIVE NOW AND FOCUSING ON THE FUTURE........BUT I DO MISS MY DADDY SO VERY MUCH. TIME SEEMS TO STAND STILL WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH. AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR VERY SWEET REPLY, IT REALLY CHEERED ME UP AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THINKING THAT I AM AWESOME...... TAKE CARE MY FRIEND, WITH MUCH LOVE AND HUGS KIM

Okay I figured Jody was the significant other. I know how that is. I am attending my ex's mom's funeral tomorrow, where his new girlfriend will be there, and the mother of his child. And, I am the one they all wish would go away. LOL. This should be something. But, we have been in each other's life for 16 years, so I am not about to go anywhere. And, we just can't get along either. He gets on my nerves, and he says I get on his. When he wanted to get married, I didn't, and when I wanted , he didn't. So, life goes on. It is great Jody is there for you though. I sure hope that works out how you want as well as the job. As for your you missing your dad, well that will never cease. I still cry over my mom, but I know she is jamming w/ Jesus now, and that makes me smile. And so, your dad is also. Since I don't dream about her much, I figure she must be at peace. Your dad seemed great. It is good that you have this release on here, and if you have other friends. That is what got me thru. You never know how much you need that , until you do..need it. May God hold you thru this and if you ever need to chat, just send me an email. Take care!

Hope you're feeling better honey! Been fighting my own "dumps" for a while and have avoided anyone who might possibly remind me that I *STILL* have made no progress on surgery plans.... Sorry I wasn't here to be more supportive, I really do think of you often. Things have been too painful to think about... the same people asking me on a weekly basis (amounting to 2-3 ppl asking me about it daily)... "so how are the plans coming for your surgery?" and I could just scream... no changes... not for months now... Ah well, I suppose things work out alright in the end... but UGH the frustration!