MY HUSBAND HAS LEFT ME......

MY DEAREST MARIA, YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH A WONDERFUL FRIEND TO ME AND I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE....EVEN THRU A COMPUTER YOU ARE RIGHT, AND I KNOW THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER WITH TIME, WE HAVE SPOKE AND DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST TO BE APART FOR A WHILE........IT MAY TAKE MANY WEEKS, BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT. HE IS STILL GONNA MEET ME AT CHURCH IN THE MORNING, AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL. I HAVE PRAYED AND TURNED EVERYTHING OVER TO MY LORD AND SAVIOR, HE WILL GET ME AND US ALL THRU THIS..... THANK YOU AGAIN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR BEING SUCH A WONDERFUL FRIEND TO ME.....I HOPE TO MEET YOU ONE DAY AND GIVE YOU A BIG HUG!!! WITH ALL MY LOVE AND HUGS, KIM

Kim, I am sooo sorry that you have so much to deal with at once! I know just with your father is stressful enough! I will be praying that God will give you strength and a peace! Hugs, Karen

DEAR KAREN, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR THE WONDERFUL WORDS OF SUPPORT, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO HAVE YOU AND EVERYONE TO TURN TO WHEN I NEED IT. GOD IS GIVING ME STRENGTH......AND I AM TRUSTING IN HIM FULLY! WITH MUCH LOVE AND HUGS, KIM BY THE WAY......I AM BETHANY, WHICH IS IN GREENWOOD, WE SHOULD MEET SOMEDAY FOR LUNCH......

Dear Kim, I'm gasping right now and oh, how I wish I read your post title wrong. It's difficult to "count it all joy" as the apostle said because we can't see the end of the journey now, only the pain and heartache. I won't tell you to "look on the bright side" or "hold your head up." I will say and hope that you set your eyes firmly on the Lord. Seek His face and the comfort that only He can bring. I believe, after a moment of prayer, that there's a message for you in that still, small voice. Run to the Father and find the peace that passes all understanding in Him. In His Love, Frances

MY DEAREST FRANCES........YOU ALWAYS SAY THE RIGHT THINGS, AND YOUR REPLY IS SO TRUE.....I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU AND ALL ON HERE TO TURN TO........AND YES, ALL MY FAITH IS IN MY LORD JESUS CHRIST.....HE WILL BRING ME COMFORT...... I DO PRAY.....AND I KNOW HE LISTENS, AND I DO KNOW HE ANSWERS THEM AS WELL. I KNOW THINGS WILL BE BETTER WITH MY LIFE, IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, BUT IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT....AND I AM WILLING TO WAIT AS LONG AS IT TAKES. YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING TO ME!!! I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU TOO! WITH ALL MY LOVE AND HUGS KIM

Kim, I was just looking at your profile with my husband last week. I am 7 days out for surgery and have really been pouring over this site. I was really drawn in by all your pictures. I am very concerned that I will be in your shoes. My husband and I are having troubles as well. But thats been on and off for yrs. We have been married 13 years, and I have been obese due to thyroid for the last 5 yrs. He has also gained about 75lbs due to his "fast food" habit. This last yr for me has been one of planned self improvement mentally and physically. I just can't seen to get him on-board to being healthy. He always seems so angry, and depressed. So, yes, the possibility for divorce is looming. This has all recently come to the surface, as my husband knows I finally have the strengh to go it alone if we do call it quits. I wish I knew you better so I could relate on specifics, but the heart feels the same. BROKEN! The time, the emotions, the ugliness and dissappointment of it all! I have found that looking deep at myself (honestly) helps alot. Once you know that you've done all you can to be a good mate, wife, mother, financial advisor and counselor; THAT'S IT! THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO! If you have been true to YOU than there is nothing more to do. As everybody else has said, it will get better. Just like you took the WLS journey, now you'll take a KIM journey. Your mature and believe it or not, self assured. Your going to bloosom in ways you never knew you were capable of. I will pray for you. Please know I am here if you need a shoulder...

DEAR TAMBRA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY....AND YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT SO MANY THINGS YOU SAID.....I KNEW GOING INTO WLS THAT THE DIVORCE RATE WAS HIGH.....BUT I NEVER EXPECTED IT MAY HAPPEN TO ME......IT IS A MIXTURE OF PROBLEMS, SOME ARE MOSTLY ON MY PART, BUT HE NEVER FAILS TO THROW IN MY FACE THE WLS.........EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE SOME HOW FORGOTTEN THAT I WAS NOT ALWAYS OBESE.....THAT I WAS THE PERSON I AM NOW THE PERSON THEY FIRST MET....I WAS SMALL WHEN WE GOT MARRIED AND SMALL FOR MANY YEARS.....ALWAYS OUTGOING, AND SUCH.....BUT WHEN THE YEARS CAME WHERE I WAS BIG, THAT IS ALL THEY REMEMBER......THE KIM THAT STAYED TO HER SELF, THE KIM THAT ALMOST BECAME A RECLUSE, THE KIM THAT WAS NOT OUTGOING ANYMORE.......SO, NOW THAT I AM BACK TO WHAT I CONSIDER MY "OLD SELF" THEY ALL SEEM TO THINK I AM SOMEONE DIFFERENT.....AND I AM NOT. I JUST CAME HOME FROM CHURCH......MY HUBBY SAID HE WOULD BE THERE, BUT HE WAS NOT.....LAST NIGHT HE WAS OUT HAVING A GOOD TIME GETTING DRUNK......SEEMS LIKE HE ENJOYS BEEING "FREE" WHILE KIM STAYS HOME WITH NOTHING......HE TOOK ALL THE MONEY.....EVERYTHING.....SO I CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNLESS I CALL HIM, WHICH USUSALLY STARTS A FIGHT....AND I AM SICK OF ALL THAT.... SO TODAY I MADE A CHOICE......I WILL FIGHT FOR KIM ONLY NOW.....IF HE DOES NOT WANT TO MAKE OUR MARRIAGE WORK, I AM NOT GOING TO BREAK MY BACK TRYING....I WILL HAVE TO MOVE ON.....TAKE BACK MY LIFE AND FIND HAPPINESS......THIS IS SO HARD......I HAVENT STOPPED CRYING FOR DAYS.....AND I AM ALSO SICK OF DOING THAT..... I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST MY DEAR SWEET FRIEND......AND IF YOU EVER NEED ME FOR ANYTHING.....JUST GIVE ME AN EMAIL......AND I WILL EVEN GIVE YOU MY HOME NUMBER.... THANK YOU AGAIN....... WITH MUCH LOVE AND HUGS AND PRAYERS FOR YOU, KIM

Kim honey, I don't know if you got my email or not... I did not miss replying but I wanted to send you some private support... I know that you are strong, and that you have something incredible within you that will help you to hang in there... I've seen it in you again and again already. Try to remember to eat, even though it's hard... and try to not just bury yourself in exercise without eating, the weight loss will only get worse Give it some time, don't make any decisions at this point... it's too delicate a time to force yourself to accept or hope... just hang on, and give it time for you each to sort out yourselves... Kiss that grandbaby for me... and keep on singing, expressing yourself may just be your best coping skill Oh, and cut out the We all love you and we worry, so keep posting at least every day or two, so we know you're ok... and please... do call me sometime ::::::hugs:::::::

OH MY DEAREST KAT, YOU HAVE BEEN SO WONDERFUL TO ME AND I JUST DON'T HAVE THE WORDS TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.....IF YOU READ MY REPLY ABOVE YOU WILL SEE WHAT IS GOING ON.... I PROMISE I WILL CALL YOU SOON.....BUT IT JUST SEEMS AS SOON I GET ON THE PHONE IT IS HARD TO TALK THRU ALL THE TEARS...I KNOW I WILL GET THRU THIS, AT LEAST I HOPE I CAN. THE CHURCH IS MY ROCK NOW, AND TODAY WAS GREAT.....I SANG AGAIN. AND THE MESSAGE BRO.RON GAVE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR ME. HE TOLD ME HE HAD WORKED ON IT FOR 3 WEEKS, AND THAT GOD TOLD HIM THAT TODAY WAS THE DAY TO PREACH IT.....SEE.....GOD DOES WORK IN HIS OWN WAY...... I AM CUTTING BACK ON THE BUT WITH THE STRESS, I TURN TO THEM.....AND IT IS NOT HELPING ME I KNOW FOR A FACT....BUT I AM TRYING HARD...THAT IS ALL I CAN DO. THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU AND WHAT YOU SAY MEANS TO ME. I APPRECIATE YOU AND I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU...... I LOVE YOU KAT! I WILL CALL YOU SOON.....I PROMISE.... WITH ALL MY LOVE AND HUGS. KIM