I need answers Please!!!

Hi All, It's that time again. Yes, for me to vent. My support systems are in order, my weight is pulling off fast, but fast in who's eyes? Not mine that is for sure. Oh you look so good, to who? Not me. I know you feel good, No not really. Sure I can eat just about anything and not get sick, at least for now. Be thankful they say, oh but I am thankful. So what are you trying to say they ask? I am doing this thing because I have no choice at his point I say. But in the meantime can anybody tell me when does it get better. I have talked with my therapist, I have talked with my Lisa C. I have talked with Lisa D. I have talked with Wendy, I have talked with Debbie and tons of others. But when do I feel better I ask. Now what I need to know is the real deal. I need to talk to someone who is having the emotional difficulties that I am having. I am not sure what is wrong, is it just me, am I the only one that feels this way. I mean I read post after post after post and I hear all the glitz and glamour, but I have yet to come across anyone that has really displayed any real emotional trauma. If you are out there please respond because I need to talk. If you do not wanna tell your story on air please email me privately. I just need to know am I the only person that feels this way. I can give very good advice, and I can give lots of support and say encouraging things and mean them from the bottom of my heart, but I can not take my own advice, I am terrible at being my own support person. I am not trying to scare and new post ops or pre ops, this does not affect everybody the same, but for me it is beyond anything I could have evr conceived mentally and before I loose my mind I just need to know is it me? Am I the only person that feels this way? Adrienne

How long has it been since your surgery? Is the problem that you just don't feel good physically, or is it that you don't feel happy about the situation emotionally? Or is it that you're having a body image crisis? I couldn't tell from your email just exactly what is going on--can you elaborate? My mother passed away 11 days after my surgery on Nov. 9th. What was supposed to be recovery time and birthday time (her's was on the 4th, mine was on the 7th, and my eldest son's was on the 10th) turned into long nights of paper shuffling, insurance phone calls, and funeral arrangements. I feel drained and emotionally traumatized (she passed away waiting for the paramedics at the house in front of me and my sons). However, I wasn't exactly feeling "wonderful" emotionally right after my surgery anyway--even before she died. You probably understand what I'm saying. Anyway, I say all this to say that I wasn't reading you clear through the message, and I may be able to offer some encouragement that might help if I had a little more info.

Adrienne, You are not alone. Many people can not deal with the emotional side of WLS. I, myself, am in therapy. I suggest it to anyone. I thought that if I lost weight, all my problems would be lost too. That is not so. My self-esteem is SHOT although I look and feel great! I can not handle when people compliment me, can not look people straight in the eye, where when I was overweight I could. Email me anytime if you want to vent. [email protected] Kristal 02-11-03 289/160/?

You are definately not alone. I have lost about 100 pounds and feel bad about my appearance more now than before surgery. I guess I am a lot harder on myself. I also lost my aunt and uncle in August - they were murdered. I found myself turning once again to food and also to alcohol. It takes time and help (don't try to go it alone!)but things do get better. I am also the same way in that I can give others good advice, but until recently, did not follow that advice. I have now begun exercising regularly and following a sensible diet. It also helps if you have an exercise or diet parnter who will go through the same things that you go through - it makes it much easier! Good luck and feel free to email me if you ever need someone to talk to.

Hi Nicole, See we were meant to cross each other because I am Adrienne Nichole. I am so sorry to hear about your aunt and uncle. I am so sure that did make you wanna eat and some more things. I appreciate your openess and honesty this really means a lot to me, because even though you have suffered a tremendous loss you still were willing to spread some support, for that I thank you. I am here for you as well anytime you need me. Adrienne

Hi Adrienne, Things definitely happen for a reason. I say this because I feel the same way you do---and I am almost 3 years out. I am definitely going through some body image issues. I have lost a significant amount of weight--a whole person to be exact--down to 160lbs from 305lbs, and I am glad about the accomplishement but I still feel fat and "think" fat so I can definitely relate to what you are saying. I say things happen for a reason because I have been looking for some info on this and your post came up in a search. I wanted to find out if it was just me thinking like this. It is good to know that I am not alone. Your info says MD but your post is on LA. Do you live in MD and/or have the surgery in MD or are you actually in LA? I live in MD--had the DS in March 2001--would love to speak with you. I tried to send you an e-mail but for some reason, it was not working. In any case, hopefully, we can connect soon. Take care. Crystal