OT: need advice for keeping 4 yr old in bed....

copied fr prev post...but hoping for responses.... Sorry sooo long...but I need help! I have 4 yr old boy/girl twins. My boy...well is great...easy to get to sleep and stays in his room in his own bed until morning. My girl...a whole other story...she bucks going to be EVERY night. Then, within 1-2 hrs is up saying she needs to "potty"...sometimes she really does and other times she just sits there...and then on the way back to her room starts whining about wanting to sleep with me. We struggle, cuddle, scold, sit for awhile sometimes...and eventually after 30 min or so goes back to bed....then about 4 hrs later, it happens all over again, usually its just wanting mommy, going to potty (but doesn't), wanting something to drink (& I leave water by her bed every night, but she never touches it) etc etc. I'm sorry but this has been going on for some time....and I cannot function well at work after having minimal sleep every night...it's like it is with an infant...except she's 4. I've tried rewards for staying in bed....lasts 2-3 days; punishment...lasts 2-3 days, spankings etc....nothing works and I'm going crazy. I usually get up with her, because if my husband gets fully awake, then he can't ever get back to sleep (has severe sleeping probs)...and then I have to contend with his BAD mood for 2-3 days afterwards until he catches up on his sleep...so to make it simpler, I get up, until it sometimes gets so lound with her screaming, crying and kicking wall etc that she wakes everyone up. This is also causing strain on my relationship w/husband and my work concentration and physical well-being. She is required to take a nap at daycare. On weekends, sometimes we skip naps because we're so busy, and she tends to sleep better ...maybe only 1 time up (which I consider pretty successful). But my dear son, needs his nap or is cranky! What should I do? Please someone help me (if anyone has gone thru something similar). BTW...I'm pre-op lap band...and boy will this be fun after surgery! or during my pre-op clear liquid 2 weeks!!!!

What time do you put her to bed? Maybe letting her stay up longer will help her sleep better. Have you talked to the doctor about it she could have sleep apnea and that could be making her not sleep well. And yes small children can have sleep apena too. Other than that I have no clue. Tina

We usually try to start bedtime around 8:30-9 and read stories etc and are in bed by 9 to 9:30. I've spoken in past to her pediatrician, but he just tells me the stuff about letting her cry it out etc...which I've done to no avail. He never mentioned sleep apnea...I had no idea children could have it...how is it diagnosed/treated? The same as adults w/sleep study & cpap? She just turned 4, weighs only 30 lbs and doesn't have any kind of breathing problems?? Thanks for the thoughts.

Yes children can have sleep apnea and it is diagnosed the same way with a sleep study. Is it possible that instead of taking a nap at daycare she could just be quiet? If she sleeps better without a nap I think she needs to not have a nap, plus at 4 she is almost out of the nap stage.

I agree with Diane on not napping. In fact, my mother has always had a very unconventional way of getting her kids into a regular sleep schedule. If we have a tough time sleeping, she would allow us to read or do other quiet activities until we were ready to sleep on our own. The next day, she would make sure we had no naps, no matter how sleep-deprived we would be. By bedtime, we'd fall asleep as soon as our head**** the pillow. Believe it or not, a lot of sleep experts recommend something similar (though a little more complex) to treat insomnia in adults. A quick Google search found these sites. Hope they help! http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/sleep.html http://childcare.about.com/od/behaviors/qt/stayinbed.htm http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/sleep.htm