Liz left me

Well I can barley think straight to write this,, but I don't know what else to do, so I thought I would tell people,, Liz came home earlier and said she no longer wanted to be together,, well actually thats a nice way to put it,, she said it was her not me and she promised I was wonderful,, WHATEVER~ I hate that f#$#$ excuse ,"its not you its me" ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ,, I think I am still in a state of shock,, its like its not real, I don't know what to do,, I am all alone in my apt now,, since we just moved in together 3 days ago,, now I have to find a roommate fast so I can freakin pay my bills,,, I just don't understand,, I feel so worthless.

Ashleigh, I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup! I'm also very sorry to hear about all the feelings you're going through -- heartbreak over Liz, despair that you've been left in a financial rut, shock that it all happened so quickly. You have every right to feel all of these emotions and more! Just please be sure to take especially good care of yourself during this stressful time. Get plenty of rest, be sure to eat well and drink your fluids, and try to relax whenever possible. As for Liz, you know, sometimes we get so emotionally invested in something that we lose our objectivity. I wonder if, once you've had a chance to clear your head, you'll be able to do some critical thinking about your relationship. Were there signs that something was wrong? Would it be worthwhile to talk to Liz and find out what this is all about (cold feet, fear of commitment, fear that now that you've lost a bunch of weight you might leave her, etc.)? Would a well-planned letter be your best bet? You're going to be a better judge of all this than anyone else. However, this stuff all comes LATER. Right now, just focus on your own self-care. I hope you feel a little better soon. Please feel free to e-mail if if there's anything I can do to help. -N

Thank you SOOO much , those were such kind words,, Thank you soooo much it really helped,, Yes you are right , it is cold feet I believe,, its amazing how powerful fear is and the control it has over someone. I will attempt to take care of myself, but gosh I feel like my life is over,, Its amazing how powerful love is.

Oh Asleigh I am so sorry that you are going through the pain of a broken heart. But get this, Baby....YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! Never base your feelings of self worth on another person's actions. Liz has her own problems to deal with, but they have NOTHING to do with your worth. Sometimes, people just don't know how to deal with life and instead of facing it head on, they take the easy way out and change the one thing in life that really has any meaning. She may come around and realize she blew it... or NOT. But it has nothing to do with YOUR value as a precious human being. I'm praying for you that everything will work out for the best for you, whether that be with or without Liz. You are strong... look at what you have taken on.... and you WILL survive this. Broken hearts mend and love does find us again. Chin up girl. We love you. Patricia

Ashleigh, I'm so sorry we missed each other yesterday. I tried calling when I got in the car. I will keep trying. I feel like you are a dear little sister and I even lamented last night because I could reach you, but more because I couldn't make it all better. I have no words and no magic potions, except my tears, and I really wish just take the pain away. I know pain of the heart -- pain that you wish would just "kill ya," but you fear that it will not and just continue to torment you forever. I recall the feeling that I would never heal from the rejection, the abuse, the horror of being "worthless" in my eyes and the eyes of someone I loved with all my heart. It doesn't help you right now, but I did heal and I did not crying and I was not worthless. I had to see that myself and no one could tell me. We just keep evolving in life and trying to "evolve in a relationship" is doubly complicated. You have hit some bumps in the road before and maybe your relationship is evolving -- getting better and stronger. I hope that Liz will take a few moments to see where she has evolved to and decide that she wants to continue evolving with you. If she doesn't, my prayer is that you will find a glimpse of the beauty we see in you and commit to continuing to bring that beauty and laughter to the outside world. Can we do lunch or afternoon coffee, something tomorrow? I'm going to Colorado early next week, but I hope to see you this weekend. Love ya and crying with you, Frances

Thanks frances,, I did see you called, I am sorry I didn't answer I didn't know what to say and by that point really didn't feel like talking,, I kind of just want to be by myself now,, I just need to think,, I don't know what I am thinking about ,, but I guess need to think about some feelings going on inside and what I am going to do,, with liz just moving in and now bailing on me,, I need to find a roommate FAST,, so I can pay my damn bills and the electricty doesn't get turned off,,, I think I am just going to lay by the pool today and be alone,, Thanks for the offer though and thanks for being there.

Ash, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You don't deserve it. Nothing I can say will make it better but I will tell you this. You are not worthless, you are one of the kindess, caring people around here. I always look forward to your post and your questions. The way I look at it it is her lose and will be someone else's gain someday. Your a marvelous person and you deserve to be treated that way. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you please. Tina

Ashley, I am so sorry for the pain you are suffering. I know we just met last week, but if there is anything at all I can do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know. Shanna

Ash, oh sweetie I am sooooooooo sorry about you and Liz. I wish I had the magical words for you. I know a breakup with a love one is really hard. I remember when me and my Ex husband got divorced I felt what you are feeling now and after a few days of crying and then a few weeks of being mad I thouhgt it was a good thing to take care of myself and make him wonder why he left me type thing. But as time went by I realized that it was for the best. I went on with my life and He was sorry. Just a note he is on his third marriage now. As for me I got on with my life and finaly met my hubby at the bowling alley here in town of all places. We've been together 11 1/2 years and will be married 9 in July. So take care of you espcially since you had surgery. Let us know how you are doing. Love ya, Chrissy

You know i'm extremely sorry this has happened to you. This may be temporary as she may be having some fears and needs some space. Whatever is meant to be is what is going to happen (easier said than felt right now). You are a great person and your life is your own. it will make you stronger...this I promise.