Finding support around me

Hello all. It would seem that I have more support than I realised. I think I mentioned my friends who have had the surgery. Two in particular is a married couple who had it done back in May 2004. I wish I had before and after photos of them because they've really lost. One other person in my church had it and he's a totally different person. same personality and all, but he's hard to recognize unless you knew him already. He's lost so much weight. I'm so glad they have. Seeing them has really put having the surgery in my mind. I think seeing them was the final straw that helped my husband decide. I know for sure now that he's ok with this because I talked to an online friend who doesn't like the idea of my doing this but she says Kevin's fine with it. Yay me. Anyways, the married couple is all for me doing this. They are going to try and find their old folders of information for me. They are the ones who are trying to talk me out of the Lap Band. I still don't know yet. They were very happy with the doctor they had and want me to seek him out instead of going all the way to Georgetown. Cathi, the woman in this couple, said she'd even go with me if I wanted her to. I may just do that. Take her up on her offer because I know how hard it is to find a sitter for the kids. The kind of support I'm really going to need is when the time comes is for someone to watch the kids a few days until I get in and get out and have a nights rest. So this week coming up is the week I talk to my doctor. Thursday actually. I'll be going in to do follow up on an ultrasound on my breast. Hopefully withgood news from that we can move on to WLS. It's funny though, the topic of wls comes up at work sometimes. I have a coworker, who's nephew is having it done. He's older than me but he's never even TRIED to lose weight and now that he's got tons of health issues his insurer is letting him have the surgery. I'm hoping I have enough info on my past dieting/weight loss woes to get it as easily. When I tell them I am concidering it. Alot of them are like, "You don't have the will power to go through with it and stick to it, or you'd have lost weight the oldfashioned way." Bleh..I'll show them..I'll do it and lose teh weight and feel better about me and not worry about what everyone else thinks. Ok..I'm rambling now. I'll go now before I really start to bore you all. If you read this you are a better person than me. Mary

Mary...well it seems that things are looking better for you. Gald that your hubby has decided to support you on the surgery. Go to the doctor your friend reccommended--it's better to know he's been given a good report by someone, and she'll know his process so to help you on each step. As far as people being negative, well, just try your best to ignore them. Luckily, I have mostly support from everyone in my life. There are a couple of my friends (?) that think I'm crazy...but, as long as my kids, mom, and church support me that is all that matters. My husband and I are separated right now, but he still thinks I'm making the right choice and he will take care of our son through the whole thing. So keep up the "I'll show them attitude"--it'll get you a long way! Good luck with everything, Sheila

Thanks Sheila..I only trully need support from 3 people..God, my husband and my mother. I haven't talked to my mother yet. I am going to wait until I can get approval and a surgery date. THEN I will talk to my mother about it. She's a big worry wart and I just don't need her negativity she is so prone to show towards me. Oh she and I have a great relationship. However, she doesn't get along with me when our opinions differ. I try not to let her bug me. But seems lately she treats me differently than she does my brothers. But I'm not surprised..I get a bit put out with her when my personal life seems to be her business, whether needed or not. Most of the time it's not necessary for her to constantly concern herself with my life but she does. Oh well. Needless to say she will be one of the last people I tell about this. Heck I only have one supportive brother really, and he's the son in law of the married couple who is supporting us with this. Now, My mother in law on the other hand, she's a different ball of wax. She was in support of me doing it a few years ago when the thought of doing this first came up. Her two sisters had it done and they looked great last time I saw them. She is all for me doing what's best for me. Heck maybe I'll get her to watch the kids during that week. She lives in Indiana but I am sure she'd love to help out a few days anyways. If not I'm sure she'd come here and watch them a few days..who knows..all I know is, I have to start putting together a game plan for the time of the surgery so I nor hubby need to worry. As for the attitude I project. Well it's really hard to talk to people who do not have a weight problem to understand why I can't lose weight normally like they can. Well it's just a situation they can't understand. OK..I'm going to stop typing now..I have bursitis in my hands and this is starting to hurt a bit..heh..another reason to have this done. Take some pressure off my hands..hee.. Mary

Mary, something that helped me get support from my mother was I took her with me to the information session and she went with me to my first meeting with both the RNY and the DS surgeons. Once she saw how I was suffering with sleep apnea, bad knees and hurting feet, out of breath, high blood pressure, etc., she became really concerned for my health and has been my firm supporter ever since. She also was convinced like I was that the DS offered my best chance of losing the weight I needed and keeping it off longterm. My husband didn't really come around until I was having my pre-op tests--1 week before surgery! I HATE when people who don't know anything about WLS tell me this is the easy way out. I always tell them, well, diabetes medication is the "easy" way out too. Wouldn't it be so much better to control diabetes the old fashioned way by diet and exercise alone? LOL Best of luck to you. -joanne s preop/current/goal 277/180/175 Loving my DS!

Awesome job with the weight loss btw.. as for the support..for me my husband was more important to get on my weight loss band wagon than my mom. Why? Because I live every day with my spouse, and I am not willing to go it alone. As for mom, she would just be icing on the cake. She thinks having this surgery is a cop out on trying to lose. This is coming from a woman who was thin until she got sick with her heart. And now she is about 60lbs overweight. Oh well. My mom has been kind of out in left field in alot of ways. She seems to NOT want to do things for me without protest. I sometimes don't even want her to keep the kids a few hours because she acts like it's a burden on her, yet she turns around and goes and visits her grandson in the next county over without half a thought to it..go figure. I think that brother was her favorite of us all..Don't know why. I'll stop complaining about my mom..it doesnt do much good anyways.