I am APPROVED! Now I'm scared! any advice from anyone?? :)

I am approved I found out today. I am so happy but really scared now. I am having the lap gastric bypass. Now here is my dilemia, I wanted to get approved before I told my mother and she is a pretty dominant figure in my life and now that I am approved --- She will be so scared of the risks that are involved and she will be preaching that all I need to do is exercise and diet. Because all most people see on TV and such is the bad things that has happened. I am married and self sufficient and I have 2 kids and I dread the fact that I now will have to tell her. Please has anyone else had these type of problems and can give me advice on how to handle it? I think alot of people who are not overweight think this is the easy way out and we all know that isn't true. They alwasy say go on a diet or walk. I have done that so many times and see how far I have came. Any words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated. I am so greatful for this website I have learned so much from the postings on here and the profiles.

Could we have the same Mom??? My mother has been the one person in my life who is TOTALLY against me having surgery. She has offered to pay for me to join curves. "That is all you need to do!!" Does this sound familar to you. I'm sure it does. My mother is just under 5 feet tall and weights 130 lbs. The MOST she has ever wieght in her life including being pregant!! Her family are very petite. SHe only weighted 85 lbs when she married my dad!! He on the other hand was 6'2 and about 250 then. Yes they were quite the pair!! LOL My dad's family are big, heavy people. You can imagine me being short like mom's family (5"2") and big like daddy's family. (228 lbs). She (they) do not understand our struggles. I delyed telling my mom too!! But I did and she was not very happy. I finally said Mom this is something I have to do. I want to be around to enjoy all wonderful nephews and neice and someday maybe 10 years be a grandma. If I do not get some controll in my weight and eating habits I may not be around. I think she knew my heart. Is she totally happy? No. But she knew I had to go for my physc evaulation the other day and she asked how it went. I told her and we actually laughed a few times. My sons' told me to tell the Dr that they knew I was crazy! She laughed. You know sometimes we just have to do what we have to do. We are adults. I help take care of my mother now. I watched the discovery health channel the other day. I saw the replay of the interview Jane Pauly did with Al Rocker after he had lost all his weight. The statment was made that once you become a certain weight, losing weight the traditional way (diet & excercise) is all most immpossible. True ?? I don't know for sure but in my case it seems to apply. Pray about it. Ask God to guide you. He can provide the courage and words you need to talk to your Mother. I hope I have helped in some small way. e-mail me if you need to... [email protected] Blessings Tonya 'I can do all things through CHrist who strenghtens me"

Thankyou Tonya for being so quick to reply. Its funny how our weight and height are all about the same. My mother is made just like yours and my father is a petite guy also and never had weight problems so really neither understand the hell we go through with our weight struggles. My mother is so set and i know she loves me and will be scared but I am so tired of feeling bad and living my life like this. I have 2 kids though and I think, Am I being selfish? They are my life. But if i don't have the surgery I will continue to be a unhappy person and feel bad on top of it. My mother alwasy seems to find another answer to things when she doesn't like what the decisions I have made. In fact, to her I am just to spononneous... I don't give anything enough thought..LOL!!! This I have and have research it so much. So I do appreciate you being able to relate to me..It makes me feel better. Have u had this surgery yet? Again thankyou..... D.

Congratulations on being approved. I am really excited for you. I don't have a mother with the attitude you talk about but a sister and her husband. Both have told me that there are other options. My sister is 5'4 and wears a size 10. She has gained a little weight (20-25 lbs) but lost it. She doesn't understand what it's like to be over 100 lbs over weight. I have told my family that I am going to have the surgery but before I did I was sure in my mind and heart that no matter what they said, I was going to do it. I also had done enough research to give them an educational response to all their questions. Good luck on telling them and trust in the Lord that whatever happens, He will see you through. God Bless, Karen

Amen to what Karen stated!!! I'm having surgery on the 28th of this month. I still have to recieve clearance from heart dr, lung dr and complete the pre-op lab work. I see Grayson, KY. Is that Grayson County??? I live in Hart County. I'm having my surgery in Louisville @ Norton's Suburban. Dr Mark Shina is my surgreon. Karen that previously posted is seeing Dr. Shina too. We were actually in the same seminar!! as far as being so quick to post I just happened to be here at the right time!! I may not even have time until tomorrow to check the boards again. I think God lead me to your post for a reason. He is sooooo good. Have a great day!! Blessings Tonya

Thankyou--All of you are really helpful and sweet. I will have the surgery but its telling her is what I dread the most..LOL!!! I am constantly researching on this site and reading other peoples profiles. But thanks again for all the kind things. D

Davina, I haven't had the opportunity to speak to you about my situation. But, my situation was exactly the same. I always took my mother's advice regarding major decisions and always basically did as she felt that I should. She reacted just as I thought that she would. She felt that I was making a huge mistake and that it was a big risk that she did not feel like I needed to take. I felt very strongly about the decision that I had made.Once I explained to her that it was almost physically impossible for me to even care for my children then she understood. She had never (nor had my father ever had a weight problem and truly did not understand. I tried to explain to her that I could not be the wife, daughter, or mother that I wanted to be. I also did what my body allowed me to do and not what I wanted to do. I was 30 years old and worried every time that I had chest pain. I did not want to live the rest of my life like that. It is truly a very personal decision but I do not want you to htink that you are going through this alone. Many people have been through this situation. Two years and 163lbs. later she is glad that I did not take her advice.Call me if you need to talk!!!Have a wondeful day!!!!!! Deana Milum (yes, your coordinator)

Thank you Deana for taking the time to read and respond to my message on the board, actually I was surprised when I saw your name and yes I was thinking is that the same Deana from the office..LOL!!! Glad you told me. I am nervous about the surgery and had not really thought to much about telling my mother until I knew I was approved. I got approved very fast thanks to the wonderful work the office produced to my insurannce company! Then after I heard I was approved I was happy and then I thought, Oh No I now have to tell my mother--so I paniced and put the message on the board to see if anyone else felt like me... It is better when you have people who can relate to the things and feelings that you are having and who can offer some support to you. I do have a few questions regarding the surgeon I chose but not sure if I should post them on here or not. I am very scared and nervous now and I now have some questions that need answered. Also my biggest fear is the operation itself, I am not afraid of not being able to stick to the limited diet or anything like that. I have kids and I think about the risks of this surgery more. So any words of encouragement and information would be much appreciated. Thank you for your response. D. Wallace

You know my mom isn't here but I'm sure if she was she would be the same way. But my mom weighed 120 pounds when she died and never had a weight problem. We are all consenting adults now and i know its hard to pull away from mom but we gotta do what we feel is best for our health and lives. We gotta live them. All I can think about is the fact that I'm 40 years old and live a miserable life. Let me rephrase that I don't live I exist. I can remember only a few years ago actually having a fairly normal life. Going to movies, actuall having a few dates, not many because most guys prefer smaller women. I'm just tired of being alone, and I think having an intimate partner is an important part of your life. Not just the sex part but the closeness and ability to share things with them. All I'm saying is that this is the time in our lives that we make our stand and just say "mom I know your worried, but I feel like its the right thing for me to do". Good luck and God bless you.

Davina, Give me a call and we will talk about the kids and the surgeons. I can tell you that I have been an operating room nurse for 14 years and (I have )and would let either of the surgeons that I work with operate on me. I had alot of fears too concerning being the mother of two children, that is such a legitimate concern. Call me and we can talk as long as you would like. That is the part of my job that I love the most. There is nothing like talking to someone who understands what you are going through.I will be in the office all this week and next.I look forward to hearing from you. Have a great day!!!! Deana