Kinda Sad

Hi everyone. I'm sort of down right now. I was so happy earlier this evening when I got an informational packet from Dr. Bolar's office...I called my mom and wanted to share my good news about the info and what I was expected to pay after insurance paid their part (If they DO approve me!) My mom said I was getting too wrapped up in this surgery stuff and I was letting it consume my whole life. That hurt- alot, actually. I told her that I was making sure that I knew what I was doing and what to expect. I'd rather learn all I can about this surgery, it's risks and complications BEFORE I actually have it done. I've been keeping it very hush hush for over a year now since I been researching it. When I finally decided I really wanted this surgery I thought I should go ahead and tell my hubby, mom, dad & mother in law about my plans. I have gotten not one single good word about doing it. Everytime I TRY to mention anything about wls, they shoot the idea down quickly. Right now I am feeling so alone. Why can't they just be a little supportive? They don't have to agree with it, but at least they could support my decision. I am sorry for rambling on...I'm trying not to break down and cry. I guess I am too emotional about it. Thanks for listening.

HI MARRISA..IN THE BEGINNING MY MOM WAS THE SAME WAY..SO WAS MOST OF MY FAMILY..BUT AFTER THAT SAW THAT I WAS SERIOUS, AND HAD RESEARCHED MY OPTIONS, THEN THEY CAME AROUND..BUT LISTEN..EVEN IF THEY HADNT, I KNOW THAT I AM SAVING MY OWN LIFE BY HAVING WLS. I WONT BE HERE TO RAISE MY SON IF I DONT DO SOMETHING AND DO IT SOON. YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK DEEP INSIDE OF MARISSA AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IS IMPORTANT..YOUR FAMILYS OPINION OF THIS AND THEM TALKING YOU OUT OF IT...OR YOUR SHOWING YOUR FAMILY THAT YOU HAVE MADE THIS DECISION ON YOUR OWN AND ITS FOR YOURSELF..SO YOU MAY LIVE AND BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY. AND IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN..BE THERE TO RAISE THEM...I KNOW ITS HARD. AND I FEEL FOR YOU. IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO SAY A WORD ABOUT WLS TO ANYONE..EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. BUT NOW I HAVE EVERYONES SUPPORT AND THEY ARE AS EXCITED ABOUT IT AS I AM...JUST HANG IN THERE. FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT..AND WHAT YOU NEED. FOR ME IT WAS AN EASY DECISION..I DONT WANT TO DIE. MY KID NEEDS ME AND I NEED HIM..SO JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO..THEY WILL EITHER SUPPORT YOU OR NOT..IM SURE THEY DONT WANT YOU TO DIE A YOUNG WOMAN..RIGHT? JUST THINK REAL HARD. AND RESEARCH. RESEARCH. RESEARCH...AS I HAVE DONE AND AM STILL DOING..IF YOU NEED ME.. IM CLOSE...TAKE CARE G/F ANNETTE IN BIG CREEK

Marissa, Hang in there. I researched this surgery initially last year. I got the same response. I "chickened out" from the shear pressure. Then, in March, I decided to give it another go. I had gained another 15 pounds over that lapse. I did not tell anyone except my husband until I actually had a date for surgery scheduled. They were a little leary still, but I realized they were all scared for me (themselves) and told me they loved me the way I was and they'd help me diet. I replied it was too late for that now and if they loved me then support me. I kept my spirits high and I did become somewhat obsessed with it, but I wanted to give it my all. They knew I was serious when I told them I'd had all my consults and work ups done and a date scheduled. They then started to help me prepare for surgery and life after. I am 2 weeks post op today. I've never had so much support! I feel great-except for some gas in my stomach now and then. I have my first post op tomorrow and hopefully get these staples out so I can sleep on a bed again! As long as you know the risks and know this is the right choice for you, go for it! I wish you all the luck in the world!

Thanks you guys for encouraging me, it sure means alot to me.

Marissa... Wanted to tell you my story and maybe it will help. I decided to have the surgery. My mom is my support person. She was there for me, took me to have the surgery, but she wasn't excited about the surgery and that kind of hurt. I was excited because I knew it was going to make big changes in my life, and I wanted her to be my cheerleader. She never said anything negative, but she wasn't cheering that morning, when we went to the hospital. My friend who had the surgery 7 months earlier and had lost about 100 lbs, and my mom hadn't seen her since the surgery, came to the hospital while I was still in surgery. She came up to my mom, and to this day my mom says "I didn't know it was her until she began to talk." The change was so drastic. When I came too, my mom was cheerleading and has been ever since. We are attending an extended family function in Aug and my mom can't wait for everyone to see me since my great aunts and uncles don't even know I have had the surgery. Have known people that have taken family members to support group meetings, and that seems to help too. Meeting people who have been there and seeing the difference the surgery can make does help. Put yourself first and do what is best for you. Take care Judy down 121 lbs