Fear

OK, I am going to start a new topic and see what you all have to say about it.

As you all know from reading my blog and posts, I am very close to scheduling my RNY surgery. I've already met with my surgeon and had the assessment done, I am waiting for them to submit to insurance and should have an answer within the next two weeks, I hope.

Now that things are progressing so quickly, I find myself becoming more fearful and worried. Did this happen (or is it happening) to you? I don't really even know where this is coming from because I know that I want the surgery; I guess I just can't help but be fearful of the unknown.

It doesn't help that I don't have much of a support system. All of my family and my closest friends live far away. I have not shared the fact that I am having surgery with any of my coworkers or friends here. One of my closest friends has recently starting questioning my choice because she is scared. She is trying to convince me to go back to the gym "just one more time." What's sad is that she knows how many times I have been to the gym and to have really tried for an extended period of time and to be so discouraged after not being able to lose much weight. "One more time" at the gym isn't going to help me with this problem.

Anyhow, I am just wondering how normal this is. And also, how do you get over these fears?

Well I sure hope it is norman, because I am really close to my surgery and I am with you on being nervous and scared.  As with you I know this is what I want to do, but as it gets closer, I question myself..  However, there is no backing down for me..  Let's just keep looking forward and it will be over before we know it....  When is your surgery and were are you having it done?

My surgery is not scheduled yet. It will be submitted to my insurance company for approval this week, so I should know within the next two weeks.

I have selected Dr. Geller and am hoping to have it at Norton Suburban in Louisville. I have already met with Dr. Geller and I really like him.

I am glad to know that I am not alone on this fear thing. I hated to be the one to bring it up, but it really has been on my mind a lot!

Ladies
Yes you are normal,i tryed to talk myself out of it alot of times thinking about the whatifs.
They had me in the preop room and i could barely walk i weighed over 500 pounds and i was laying there thinking how do i get out of here(i was petrified) well i couldnt run that was forsure.
Well i went to potty and my hubby came in and couldnt find me and he got worried i laughed h said i thought you ran away i told him i had thought about it.lol
But i knew i was in good hands with Dr.Sonnastine so i just said alittle prayer and closed my eyes.
I did have complications but not from the surgery but from being so immobile before surgery i passed a clot but i had the filter in so i was okay.
WOULD I DO IT AGAIN   Yes i would
I was to far gone to try another diet or the gym it wasnt going to work.
Ladies we all ave fear of the unknown but this is something we have to do to get healthy and hve a normal life without all the restirctions of being the fat girl.
I am till a big girl but my life has changed so much for the better no meds except my vitamins .
I can walk and breath ,i have a life that i want i have more weight to lose but in 15 months i have lost 247 pounds and life is so wonderful.
I m sorry i ramble but hang in there girls my saying is that its a wonderful journey you may hit a few bumps but its so worth it.
Huggs

Well I weigh 270 and I have a 15yr old and a 2yr old. The big one is my step son and the little one I waited 18 years for.  He is adopted and I worry about the bads, because my children are my life and I want to be with them for the rest of their lives..  But I know all will be ok cause the Lord is watching over us.  I too just want a normal life to where I can do things with my children....

A very simple way to put it,  JUST DO IT!  

You won't have any regrets and it will be a wonderful surprise for your family and friends when they do see you!  Talk about people being shocked.  I don't live near family and friends either so I know where you are coming from.

Focus on being excited about doing the things you have been wanting to do but are inhibited because of your weight or size.  That will motivate you.

Good luck!
Leslie

 

I didn't have any real fears....I have been overweight for so long and I had made myself so miserable in my own skin (I weighed 292 5"3") that all I could think about was feeling better and doing more again with my life.  I had every faith in  Dr.Sonnanstine and his staff.  I read and researched as much as I could.  This site was and is a wonderful place to hear everyone's journeys good and bad.  And this really helped me.  I think it is normal to be concerned with having any surgery.   But if like me you are miserable in your skin......just do it!!!!  You will not be sorry.  I already feel so much better and can do so much more just losing 31lbs  after 6 weeks.....You will do great and the only regret you will have is that you did not do it sooner.....best of luck to you......

Hi
I am 10 weeks out and I have lost quite a bit of weight, but I can remember thinking is the best for me?  I knew it was and I did not want to wake up one day with all the illnesses of obesity.  You are 100% correct that one more time to the gym is not going to do it; but you need to do what is best for you. I am quite certain your friend is worried. Maybe if you show her this site or take her to a support group meeting.
*** my edit: good luck and take care and time for YOU!
teach

I just asked myself, "Which is more scary?  Living at 400 plus pounds the rest of my life or having the surgery and losing enough weight to be healthy?"  The answer was staying 400 plus pounds was way more scary than going through surgery and recovery which would only be bad for a few days.  Ok - I admit it was more than a few days for me - it was a couple of weeks but I had such a bad quality of life it was worth any risk to improve my life.  I wish I had realized years ago that I wasn't going to be able to lose it with Weigh****chers anymore.  It's not Weigh****cher's fault - I just had no faith in myself anymore and couldn't get my mind around dieting even one more time - I always, always gained back more weight than I ever lost.  

I was concerned that I didn't have a big supportive family - my husband is deceased so I don't have a spouse to help me during the first weeks.  My teenage daughters couldn't stay with me for long - one is away at college most of the time and the youngest is a senior in high school and busy with her school activities.  But I was fortunate to get it scheduled during the Christmas holidays and the girls were able to be around more than usual.  My support group has been online mostly because I live about 2 1/2 hours from Louisville - I think that is the worst thing for me - not being able to get to most of the meetings.  But thanks to the dear people on this KY forum I feel supported by getting online and reading and posting here.

We will prop you up and help you through this.  Keep your chin up and believe!  

Hugs,
Cindy

Thank you for all of your thoughts on this. It is so nice to know that I am not alone and I have the rest of you all to talk with. Sometimes when I sit at home alone, all I can think about are the "what ifs."

I should hopefully hear back within the next week if my surgery was approved. I thinking that it feels like I am waiting on life-saving test results....and then I remember that I am. I truly think this surgery is going to save my life in the long run.