Changing the inside along with the outside

I just wanted to share a realization with you all.

As I continue on this journey, I find more and more that I am unable to tolerate things I used to be able to stuff down with food.  When something bothers me and I don't deal with it, I go crazy with feeling like I need to eat!  But... if I stop and deal with the situation (which usually means confronting something I don't want to) eventually the compulsion to eat goes away.  I am still learning at this ...

... sometimes I eat

... sometimes I wait so long that whatever is bothering me just pops out of my mouth (usually not in the most appropriate way)

... and sometimes I actually recognize this is happening and deal with the situation when it arises.

As I travel the WLS road, I am learning to choose the third option when I can.  But, I am also trying to forgive myself when I choose the first or second action (consciously or unconsciously).

It took me many, many years to become the way I am ... It is going to take time to undo all of that.

You all help me so much everyday with your postings!  Even when I am unable to write, just stealing a few minutes here and there to read your posts gets me through the day.  You guys are the best

Amen!

Isn't it odd how we valued ourselves less when we we were heavier and put up with much more crap than we should have?  Being healthy inside and out....that's definately something to strive for!

Totally... always put myself last.  Self worth was SO low!!  But now that I don't have food to "shut up" the emotions... they come bubbling out!

I agree totally.  I used to take all the crap that everyone dished out on me.  And that wass really hard being a supervisor because you get everyone's opinions.  But since I have lost weight, I don't take anything thing from anyone.  People now stop and stare at me because I come back at them.  Doesn't seem to make them mad but it does shock them.

Laura

I totally agree with you.  As heavy people with low self-esteem we want to give and believe me the "others" want to take.  We teach our children it is better to give than to receive, but goodness when is it our turn to get?  As we lose weight we start feeling so good about ourselves and want the whole world to know.  We do change for the good.  We are more self confident in our home life, work life and with our friendships.  It is the "others" that have the issue with our changes and they just don't understand.  I told my doctor that our family and friends need counseling on how to deal with the "new" us.  This transformation is a big adjustment on the "other" too.  I feel that if this is the really you, then your friends and family need to accept it and go on if not maybe they were not your friends.  I found out the hard way.   They always felt you were safe because you were heavy and now that you are thin and cute you are a danger and  they are going to find other faults that they think you have, but really this has been you all along they just didn't care to find out.  Your really find out who your true friend are when you get to me a "normal" size.

When you have the compulsion to eat.  I ate boxes of sugar free Popsicles.  I kept them at work and at home.  I lived on them. 

 

Shelly