Learning to say no!
Ok....so one of the things I have decided to change this year is to learn to say no. I have always had a really hard time with this all my life. I always thought "If I say no they will not like me...if I say no I won't be asked next time....if I say no then I am being unfair...blah blah blah"
I learned alot of lessons this past year from not saying no and definitely have learned from them. I am not listing examples....alot of you have already seen a couple examples.
Anyway......I went into work on Friday and Kathy and I were going over our schedules to see what days we each had appts for etc.... When we were done setting up a basic sched I told her that I am definitely going to take off two days a week, leaving me to work three, and then I proceeded to tell her which ones. She was not very accepting of this. I tried to do this back in Aug when school started and its always been "inconvenient". I told her that it was putting a strain on me trying to find a sitter plus the added expense of one each week. I was going to take B those two days and dale would have him the three and that way I would not be out that added expense. Let's just say she did not show much compassion on this. Now keep in mind the atty I work for has asked us to cut back hours, she takes off whenever necessary and there I am watching her store and not suppose to turn in the time? Nope. Not anymore. I have taken every minute of time off to clean my house, work on a renovation project with dale (our bedroom) and make cakes to sell. Its just not happening. I am stressing and it is overflowing onto my hoime life and my health.
I am too tired to cook and getting alot of take out. I eat take out for lunch (yeah I could pack one but when do I have time to). I get up at 6-7 and run or work til 10 at night. I am tired.
After being off for Christmas I realized I miss having fun time at home. Making cakes, playing with B, going for walks, just relaxing and reading a book or watching a movie with only having to pause for potty breaks instead of having to cook, clean up something, switch laundry loads, etc....I finalIy painted his room and moved his stuff in and unpacked everything after starting this about 5 months ago! Now I can multi task...better than most...but dang...there is a limit! So I am saying no!
And not feeling guilt or regret and standing firm on it! I just hope I can stay determined and stick with this.
I am woman....hear me roar huh?!
I learned alot of lessons this past year from not saying no and definitely have learned from them. I am not listing examples....alot of you have already seen a couple examples.
Anyway......I went into work on Friday and Kathy and I were going over our schedules to see what days we each had appts for etc.... When we were done setting up a basic sched I told her that I am definitely going to take off two days a week, leaving me to work three, and then I proceeded to tell her which ones. She was not very accepting of this. I tried to do this back in Aug when school started and its always been "inconvenient". I told her that it was putting a strain on me trying to find a sitter plus the added expense of one each week. I was going to take B those two days and dale would have him the three and that way I would not be out that added expense. Let's just say she did not show much compassion on this. Now keep in mind the atty I work for has asked us to cut back hours, she takes off whenever necessary and there I am watching her store and not suppose to turn in the time? Nope. Not anymore. I have taken every minute of time off to clean my house, work on a renovation project with dale (our bedroom) and make cakes to sell. Its just not happening. I am stressing and it is overflowing onto my hoime life and my health.
I am too tired to cook and getting alot of take out. I eat take out for lunch (yeah I could pack one but when do I have time to). I get up at 6-7 and run or work til 10 at night. I am tired.After being off for Christmas I realized I miss having fun time at home. Making cakes, playing with B, going for walks, just relaxing and reading a book or watching a movie with only having to pause for potty breaks instead of having to cook, clean up something, switch laundry loads, etc....I finalIy painted his room and moved his stuff in and unpacked everything after starting this about 5 months ago! Now I can multi task...better than most...but dang...there is a limit! So I am saying no!
And not feeling guilt or regret and standing firm on it! I just hope I can stay determined and stick with this. I am woman....hear me roar huh?!
Ahhh, you suffer from a case of "Yesitis". I have/had it too. I started saying no when my 3rd one was born last January. It was coming to a point that I had something to do everynight and none of it was for the benefit of my family. I know the guilt will feel bad...in the beginning...buy stick to your guns and don't let anyone break you down! You have to do it for you! If not, maybe we could start a support group for people who suffer from "Yesitis"! 
Kelly B
297/247/165
Summer Slimmers Challenge!
Most barriers to your success are man-made. And, most often, you're the man who made them. ~ Frank Tyger
297/247/165
Summer Slimmers Challenge!
Most barriers to your success are man-made. And, most often, you're the man who made them. ~ Frank Tyger
LeeAnn
I cant say no either ,then my family listens to me complain and Joey just looks at me and says you know how to say no (you use it on us all the time).
For some unknown reason i got myself in a situation this weekend that was horrible oh i know the reason because i didnt say no.
I have a quilt complex and dont wonna hurt anyones feelings so even if i say no i go back later and do what ever is ask,running errands,free babysitting,loaning money and etc...
I hear you roraing clear over here,you deserve your family time take it girl..
I cant say no either ,then my family listens to me complain and Joey just looks at me and says you know how to say no (you use it on us all the time).
For some unknown reason i got myself in a situation this weekend that was horrible oh i know the reason because i didnt say no.
I have a quilt complex and dont wonna hurt anyones feelings so even if i say no i go back later and do what ever is ask,running errands,free babysitting,loaning money and etc...
I hear you roraing clear over here,you deserve your family time take it girl..
Lee Ann
No is hard to say. I remember when my mother started to say no to outside "obligations". I know it taught me how to say no- sometimes. ha ha ha.
A couple of years back when my 10 year old was turning 6 (and was in school full time) I was pressured into working a full day (I only worked from 8-12) and they pushed hard as my co-worker did not want to work afternoons anymore. She is a great lady and had no children at home but did have a health concern so not working pm's was justified for her. So they said "You said you would do it when Hunter was older", and I replied "No, I said I would consider it, and I did but I do want or need to". So, it was decided then we would no have an afternoon class. It was a tough conversation for me in someways but not so much in other ways. Being home for my son when he got out of school was my motivating factor...kinda like your B. In the end I remember thinking I am 38 and feel liberated by this.
Ironically it is one of the things my mother says she respects about me...go figure.
Stick to your guns and this will take care of you ultimately.
congrats and you will come to LOVE your "home days"
teach/sol
No is hard to say. I remember when my mother started to say no to outside "obligations". I know it taught me how to say no- sometimes. ha ha ha.
A couple of years back when my 10 year old was turning 6 (and was in school full time) I was pressured into working a full day (I only worked from 8-12) and they pushed hard as my co-worker did not want to work afternoons anymore. She is a great lady and had no children at home but did have a health concern so not working pm's was justified for her. So they said "You said you would do it when Hunter was older", and I replied "No, I said I would consider it, and I did but I do want or need to". So, it was decided then we would no have an afternoon class. It was a tough conversation for me in someways but not so much in other ways. Being home for my son when he got out of school was my motivating factor...kinda like your B. In the end I remember thinking I am 38 and feel liberated by this.
Ironically it is one of the things my mother says she respects about me...go figure.
Stick to your guns and this will take care of you ultimately.
congrats and you will come to LOVE your "home days"
teach/sol
Hey there I am SO proud of you!!! You deserve to make time for you and your life! I am so happy that you were able to get your feelings and wishes known. Your loved ones need you and you need to be happy and not stressed. You deserve to have walks, relaxing, reading a book or watching a movie. You know how fast B is going to grow up too... so just enjoy him. I can't wait to meet the little sweetie!!
Way to go Lee Ann!! Its a scary thing to go out of your "comfort zone" and not "people please". But it has held alot of us back in being true to ourselves.
Talk to you soon!!
Blessings to you all, Leah 
Leelee I know how your feeling and not wanting to say no and worried that I will be disliked or people mad at me. You stick to your guns. Sometimes money helps when working extra and etc but it doesnt solve all problems. I have found that out myself. You also need to learn to say no to your family at times too. People need to take responsibility for their own actions and etc.
I and hubby have decided that we have to let these 2 girls start standing on their own 2 feet and not run to mommy and daddy for help all the time. We are not rich people but need to enjoy our golden years together and with family to an extent. You will be fine Leelee just stick to your guns
Hugs
Vicki
I and hubby have decided that we have to let these 2 girls start standing on their own 2 feet and not run to mommy and daddy for help all the time. We are not rich people but need to enjoy our golden years together and with family to an extent. You will be fine Leelee just stick to your guns
Hugs
Vicki
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