Talking to Family

Just have to vent...because I know those on here can understand and possibly even been there as well.  Yesterday-Thanksgiving...I had not told my family I was having WLS because I know they would not understand.  My sister is over 350lbs, my brother is close to 300, my father has been overweight all his life and my mom is a whopping 95 lbs with rocks in her pockets....now mind you, I am adopted so this little experiment speaks to NURTURE over nature; in other words, my environment had more to do with obesity than my genetic make-up.    Anyhoo, my mom is a nurse (and so am I) so I thought maybe she would feel a little differently about it, and my sister has severe sleep apnea, cardiac problems and two kids under the age of 8; so I was thinking maybe the pros of health would win her over.  After stewing with ways to explain why I was eating the way I was and the SMALL portions (even compared to the kiddies) I was taking, I dropped the bomb and told my family.  My mother gave me a "HOW COULD YOU????  THAT IS ABSURD!" and my sister gave me the old, "why can't you learn to be happy with who God made you?"  (Last time I checked it wasn't God putting the food in my mouth).  I tried to explain my view point-yo yo dieting, sleep apnea, personal self esteem, activity levels, exercise plans, arthritis and joint problems...LONG TERM HEALTH!  and all I got in return was "what a cop out, you just need to learn to eat better".  My sister had expressed some interest in the details and my mom got between us and stuck her finger in my sister's face and demanded "promise me you will never do something as silly as that".  I just could not believe the reactions...Jokingly me my sister said when I left; "If you don't die in the next ten years maybe I will look into it".  I hope SHE is still here ten years from now.  UGH how can family be so stupid!!!!

Oh my dear it has just only begun.   I have a sister that I was so close to and was my best friend and since I have had the surgery, we no longer are close because I refuse to be her saboteur and companion in crime of eating myself to death.  My mother did not accept me having the surgery and neither has my brother.   I get no support from my family other than my husband 2 girls and grandkids and of course my loving obesityhelp Ky group individuals.

My therapist says its a jealousy thing on my sisters part and my mother and brothers fear of me having had the surgery and possible complications down the road frm the lack of education on the WLS which I have tried to explain and them refusing to listen.

Be happy with yourself move forward and enjoy the new journey and life that lays ahead of you.

Vicki

Bless your heart... I am amazed everytime I hear about a family members bad/not approving reaction.  I mean geez... you are a nurse so I would think they would value your opinion.  Or they should.  Sounds like they are really just scared.  They are used to you being one way apparently and change is really scary for some folks. 
Vent anytime

     I am sorry that you had to deal with that as you are tyring to take control of your life and feel better. I hope that they will decided to do some research and learn about all the positive effects this will have on your life.  But if they do not time will show them the benifits you will receive from this positive change. You can if you so choose; realizing it will ruffle some feathers; educate them but what ever you decide please know that your OH family will support you.

 Good luck family issues can often be touchy
teach

To make the decision to become a "surgically altered freak" was a troubling one for me but my co-morbidities almost made the decision a no-brainer. My immediate family is very supportive but the extended family doesn't have a clue. That being said, this was my own, very personal decision and I don't care about someone else's uninformed opinion. You've made a decision to do something that is very hard and will take a lifetime of adjustment. Hopefully, that will be a longer, healthier lifetime. Don't let your attitude or outlook on life be colored by someone else. You are the most important person in your life and I firmly believe that other people make you unhappy only if you let them.
You can do this,
Jim
P.S. Here's a poem by Edgar Guest. It may apply.

“It Couldn't Be Done"

Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it";
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.”