Need To Vent.........help

Before commiting to WLS my family MD wanted me to see a Nutritionist.  I agreed.  But she, the nutritionist, didn't seem to understand what it is like to be morbidly obese, and not able to lose weight, and not able to exercise, to be short of breath, to be ashamed of my weight, not to be able to fit in an airplane seat, or theater seat, to want to just hide under a rock when people look at you like you are a freak or something, to be treated disrespectfully in public because of my size, to be overlooked for the skinner prettier person.  I could go on and on but I know you all know what I am talkign about.  She just kept saying "You have it in you". 
I have over come addictions to alcohol and cigarettes, and left an abusive husband years ago.  I know  how to "quit" xomething.  I can't quit overeating.  I used the same principles I used in my 12 step program.  NOT!  I have come to realize that some of us just can't do it.  And I am one of them.  I don't have what it takes and I need surgical intervention.  I thought of myself as a failure for many years because I thought to myself "why can't you do this, you quit drinking you quit smoking......".  I can't, and that is that.  Plain and simple.  If I dont' do something I am going to die.  I have two main reasons I want to to this.  1.  my health and well being.  2.  In order for me to help my husband I have to do this.  My husband has been ill off and on for many years now but this past year has really been hard on both of us.  He is a bad diabetic and has had an amputaion of a toe caused by a diabetic ulcer, he has hand many laser surgeries to his eyes related to diabetic retinopathy and he is going blind now.  He has been so good to me and has treated me like a princess since day one (married 10 years this past June).  And I know that his health is going to deteriorate in the coming years and he is going to have to rely on me for almost everyting.  If I had to do it today, there is no way I could.  I have to get to a place where I can help him when the time comes. 
Getting back to the nutritionist.......she just doens't understand.  I called her today and told her I would not be back. 
I signed up for my WLS seminar and am going Saturday to Nashville, TN to hear Dr. Dyer speak at  The Cenntenial Center For The Treatment Of Obesity.  I know there is many months of preperation for this surgery.  I have had 2 good friends go through this.  One lap band and on RNY.  Both have done fantastic.  They are my inspiration.  Sorry this was so long, but I needed to vent and I guess too, I am scared.  I need reassurrance I am doing the right thing.  I need a lot of support and shoulder to lean on and I know I can get it here.  Please please email me at my private email cause I know this thread will get lost among all the others and i won't be able to find it. [email protected]
Thanks everyone,
Linda G

Linda, I think your making a very important first step! Congrats on that.. and your lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful husband that has treated you so well!
Food definately is an addiction for me, however it's something we have to do to survive unlike drinking, or smoking, therefore the temptations are ALWAY there.. It's not like we can just give up food . We have to eat! It's a battle everyday for me! I am a band patient as of Aug 25th..  and still some days are a struggle.. Struggle to exercise, struggle to make the right eating choices!
This is a great place for support and friendship! I hope you have a fantastic seminar in TN.. Where in KY are you?
SAndi

I live in Bowling Green, KY.  Thanks for the support.

Linda G

Linda, remember that WLS is a tool and you have to be able to face your addictions, if you do not come to terms with your addiction, even WLS can fail.  You have to be committed to changing you behaviors with eating and its a lifestyle change.  I would suggest that maybe you find a therapist that can work through you addiction with food even before having WLS so you have a better handle on it when you do or have the surgery

Good luck

In my opinion,  I think we all have an addiction to food otherwise we wouldn't be in our cir****tances.   We use food as our drug of choice. I assume you saw a therapist Vicki?  Did it help you? What was the best advise you received from your therapist?   This surgery will force me to stop eating when I am full or I will pay the consequences, quickly.  I suffered consequences with my drinking and that is what helped me to stop.  I am not looking at this surgery as a "fix all". I know better than that.  I know it's  tool to get me where I need to go. The first step in any addiction is to admit you have one.   I have one.  I plan on getting help.  When I go for my Psych eval.  I plan on talking about it a lot.  Thanks for your support vicki.  Good luck to you too . :)

Linda G

Yes Linda I still to this day work with my therapist or should I say now my life coach.   I still have the addiction but I am learning to curb the addiction, just like an alcoholic, once an alcoholic always a alcoholic same as food addict always a food addict we just learn to adapt our ways.

I wish you all the luck in your decisions, and Becka is right there are several types of WLS research and more research.   It took me over a year to finally decide to do it and another 6 month to get the one I wanted.

Come hang out with us on this board there is different type surgery patients on the KY board all very knowledgeable in all

Vicki

When looking at alcohol, smoking and food addictions.....in my book food addictions are the hardest to conquer hands down!  Why?  With cigs and alcohol you COMPLETELY QUIT the offending substance.  You obviously can't do that with food!  You need it to live!  If you were to stop smoking but be allowed 3 smoke breaks a day how long would that last?  Same thing with alcohol!  How long would a 3 beer a day routine last before it escalated?

IMO, you are doing the smartest thing you can do if you truly have severe food issues. 

My best suggestion to you though is to RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH you options.  There are more WLS out there than just the band and RNY.  No one surgery is better than the other across the board.  Take a look at your eating style and how each type of surgery addresses that.  are you a grazer?  a volume eater?  a sweets eater? etc. 

Visit all the various surgical boards WITH AN OPEN MIND and don't be swayed by fast talkers.

Please feel free and more than welcome to come to this board and talk to us.  You'll find 3 surgical types represented in our little clan (band, RNY and DS) but there's even more than just those three!

I do suggest that you try another nutritionist that is educated in bariatrics though.  They do have a wealth of knowledge. 

Hi Linda,

Glad you gave the boot to that nutritionist.  She has a very negative attitude toward WLS.  Make a list of all the questions you want answered and ask them at the seminar.  Someone should be able to answer them there.  Also, when you start the process, you will see a nurse, nutritionist and psycologist.  If you don't get the questions answered at the seminar, ask one of the three of them.  Someone will have the answers.  Also, you have my number so you can call me if I can help.

Laura

I would highly suggest you seek out and attend a seminar given by Dr. Husted, it seems he is coming to Nashville for a seminar look through the posts for the date and place.  There are surgeries you can eat around, if you are truly addicted and need to lose this weight, I mean really NEED to lose this weight you should look into the Duodenal Switch.  Go to Duodenalswitch.com