Why Am I Even Married??????
Well, have gotten back from Lowe's. Got most everything on the list except for the tub wall! That is the only good thing..........
My husband is killing me. He acts like I can't do anything, like I am stupid, and is so rude in public, it often times embarrasses me. He is a tightwad so he hates spending $$ period, so that automatically puts him in a bad mood.
He doesn't like the paint colors, he didn't like the faucets, etc. etc. Well, ended up compromising on the faucets. I am getting my way with the paint, mirrors, and lighting.
I guess I don't realize how much he is really not a gentleman until I am around other men who are. I never get a door held for me, and when we walk into a store, restaurant, etc., I usually have to walk behind him. It is just really getting to me. I don't feel loved, appreciated, or needed at all. We don't even have sex anymore. It has been a long long time. And to be quite honest, I have no desire to even sleep with him. He tells me that my boobs are too small, my skin is loose, and I am overall too flabby. Then he wants to point out all of the plastic surgery that HE wants me to have! To put it simply, I feel really beat down emotionally and degraded. And I am tired of it.
Maybe we would both be happier if we were apart...............................I would really like to know what he thinks about that. I think he might be a little relieved, maybe he has been thinking the same thing.
Has anyone else on this board had marital problems since surgery?
We have always had issues, but they are much worse now!!!!!
Will it get any better?
Leslie
My husband is killing me. He acts like I can't do anything, like I am stupid, and is so rude in public, it often times embarrasses me. He is a tightwad so he hates spending $$ period, so that automatically puts him in a bad mood.
He doesn't like the paint colors, he didn't like the faucets, etc. etc. Well, ended up compromising on the faucets. I am getting my way with the paint, mirrors, and lighting.
I guess I don't realize how much he is really not a gentleman until I am around other men who are. I never get a door held for me, and when we walk into a store, restaurant, etc., I usually have to walk behind him. It is just really getting to me. I don't feel loved, appreciated, or needed at all. We don't even have sex anymore. It has been a long long time. And to be quite honest, I have no desire to even sleep with him. He tells me that my boobs are too small, my skin is loose, and I am overall too flabby. Then he wants to point out all of the plastic surgery that HE wants me to have! To put it simply, I feel really beat down emotionally and degraded. And I am tired of it.
Maybe we would both be happier if we were apart...............................I would really like to know what he thinks about that. I think he might be a little relieved, maybe he has been thinking the same thing.
Has anyone else on this board had marital problems since surgery?
We have always had issues, but they are much worse now!!!!!
Will it get any better?
Leslie
I've not had problems with this hubby since surgery (he's banded as well so we are on the same page most times about it) but I have been through one rotten marriage in the past and let me tell you it's not worth the energy drain! Every person deserves to be happy and felt like they are truly loved! Come back in a few days and re-read the entry you just made. If you still feel about it then the way you did when you posted it that's a HUGE indicator that cchanges need to come. It's up to you what those changes should be, whether it's seperation or counseling or whatever....
The hospital's pastor was at our last support group here in Louisville and he spoke about how we all have 2 tyoes of people in our lives.....those that leave us energized and those that leave us drained. He said we need to spend our time and energy on those that lift us up and energize us rather than trying to please and pacify those that drain our energies (LOL....small children are exempt!!)
At the other support group we had this month we talked about how if a marriage isn't on solid ground before one of the mates has WLS it certainly isn't going to make things any stronger and actually may just be the nail in the coffin so to speak!
Take it easy and take care of YOURSELF! Come see us here if you need to talk!
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
The hospital's pastor was at our last support group here in Louisville and he spoke about how we all have 2 tyoes of people in our lives.....those that leave us energized and those that leave us drained. He said we need to spend our time and energy on those that lift us up and energize us rather than trying to please and pacify those that drain our energies (LOL....small children are exempt!!)
At the other support group we had this month we talked about how if a marriage isn't on solid ground before one of the mates has WLS it certainly isn't going to make things any stronger and actually may just be the nail in the coffin so to speak!
Take it easy and take care of YOURSELF! Come see us here if you need to talk!
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
~BECKA~ Start - 254 / Current - 172.6 / Goal - 160
Just another Bariatric Babe!!
Just another Bariatric Babe!! OK, I just went to your profile and peeked at your pictures and I just have to say your husband is a complete ASS because you my dear are HOTT!!
Sounds to me like he's being emotionally abusive and controlling. He's cutting you down for no good reason other than the fact that he's beginning to feel threatended! Not only is it sad it's pathetic!!
Sounds to me like he's being emotionally abusive and controlling. He's cutting you down for no good reason other than the fact that he's beginning to feel threatended! Not only is it sad it's pathetic!!
~BECKA~ Start - 254 / Current - 172.6 / Goal - 160
Just another Bariatric Babe!!
Just another Bariatric Babe!! Well thank you very much for that HOT compliment. :)
He is obese and I know he does feel more insecure and threatened. He had told me that WLS was even morally wrong! That was when he was trying to talk me out of having it.
I feel bad complaining about him because it is embarrassing to me because I have put up with it.
It has been several years since I have felt like I love myself. And now I feel like I truly love me......and he can't stand that.
I have already talked to my mother about leaving him.
Going to retire now. I have to work in the morning.
Thanks for the great advice and support!
He is obese and I know he does feel more insecure and threatened. He had told me that WLS was even morally wrong! That was when he was trying to talk me out of having it.
I feel bad complaining about him because it is embarrassing to me because I have put up with it.
It has been several years since I have felt like I love myself. And now I feel like I truly love me......and he can't stand that.
I have already talked to my mother about leaving him.
Going to retire now. I have to work in the morning.
Thanks for the great advice and support!
sad for you..-- ...prayers with you....cathy 
I am sorry he treats you that way. No one deserves to be treated like that. Dont make any decisions out of anger or without deep thought. I would talk to him and let him know what you are thinking sometimes when they think they may loose you they change the way they treat you. You will do the right thing and make the choice that is best for you. good luck!
*LC*
Live,Laugh & Love Everyday because tomorrow is never promised!
Live,Laugh & Love Everyday because tomorrow is never promised!
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