Confession time, setting myself up to be flamed. (Dr Shina, Holly?)

My name is Angela Russell.  I had open rny gastric bypass March 24, 2005. The
morning of my surgery I weighed 311.  At my one year post op visit March 29,
2006 (also the last day I saw u guys) I weighed 161.  I maintained that.  Sept
8, 06 I had a panniculectomy with, well, I can't remember his name but it was
at Baptist East.  Durban Smith??? Well, his name is not important now. A month
after my panni we had a car accident.  None of us were hurt severly.  I did
have some nerve damage in my right hip.  My primary care doctor and
chiropractor (I'm not a fan of chiropractors now) both told me that tylenol
would not help with inflammatory pain.  They recommended Ibprophen, Motrin,
etc. NSAIDS.  I honestly can't say that I remember either of u saying NOT to
take nsaids. I heard somewhere that bariatric patients weren't supposed to take
them or at least not alot.  Well for 3-4 months I took ibprophen regularly
everyday, every 4 hours some days when I was hurting.  Early in 2007 I noticed
that I'd gained 10 pounds. Which is one reason I put off my 2nd year post op
visit with u guys.  I also noticed summer of 2007 my stomach would feel like it
was on fire sometimes.  I would have a burning in my chest, back of my throat.
Holly, I remember calling u and telling u this and saying I'd get on up there
but I never did.  I was ashamed. My pcp sent me for a upper gi but I couldn't
chug that white stuff so it didn't't work out. My acid issues have gotten worse
and he wants to send me to a gastro intestinal doc.  I figure Dr Shina knows
about my gastro intestinal issues since he's been in there before. I'd rather
come to u guys. I now weigh 215. I do not gorge myself, I don't eat and drink
at the same time. I don't do sugars (ok, not often) I don't try to swallow huge
bites. I also don't feel full anymore. I'm scared of gaining all my weight back
and yes, I know I should have called u guys sooner and gotten off my butt
sooner and tried to do something about this.  This past year has been a
emotional roller coaster for me.  Last fall I started having vertigo issues
(still don't know what causes that) which triggered panic attacks. I'm not on
meclizine 25mg, Ativan 1mg, both 3 times a day. Zoloft 200mg a day.  I feel
like I'm falling apart. This past Feb. Feb 22, 2008 to be exact I lost my brand
new baby niece. That was one of the hardest things I've ever been thru. I do
have a point for telling u guys this. Right after we buried the baby, my aunt
(who is my 2nd momma) found out that she had rectal cancer. She's only 61. I
was already a basket case from the death of my niece and this just devastated
me.  I kept telling myself as soon as my aunt had her surgery, as soon as we
found out she was going to be ok, I'd call u all and start back on the road to
getting me fixed.  She had her surgery last Friday. She is now cancer free and
on the road to recovery, thank goodness.  Now it's time I got serious about
fixing me. I was so happy to lose that weight. I loved the new me. I loved the
way I felt, the way I looked, the energy. I want to get back to that but I'm
scared I screwed up my pouch with all the ibprophen I've taken or that I've
stretched it all out.  Dr Shina, I understand if u don't want to be my doc
anymore. I've screwed up myself. I've been lazy and should have called u and
gotten my butt in there way before now. My insurance co has changed since I've
seen u. It's now Anthem Blue Access PPO.  I did call them to see what their
position on any type of bariatrics would be. I told them my problems. They said
once I have testing done to see whats going on there is a good chance they'll
approve whatever codes u send it, saying I need to do.  I look forward to
hearing from u both even though u have more than enough right to chew my butt
out.  I just want to get back to where I was. I felt so much better. I felt
better about myself. Plus, this constant burning in my stomach and throat
sucks. I'd like that gone as well or at least better.
Sincerely
Angela E Russell
270-360-0231

Angela,  I want you to know you're not alone. I too have put on an excess of 35lbs. I don't know what has happened to me, other than being stressed out this last year with school, having a baby, (can't get pregnant that is) apartment living issues, and sleep disorders which has led to me having depression issues, thus being prescribed an antidepressant.  I haven't been posting here or keeping in good contact with my friends from here, because I am ashamed. I feel like I have failed the surgery and there's no hope for me to gain any control back. Well, I finally decided I'm not going to give into despair and do anything and EVERYTHING to get myself on track and back into control.  I finally broke down and called my nut last week to confess I wasn't doing so good with my weight. I told her the truth, how I am gaining weight and wondering if I've stretched out my pouch.  For me, I'm hungry all the time, tired all the time, and I also have the burning sensation constantly in my throat and stomach.  I do take Advil on a regular basis, but was told by my doc it was ok as long as it was the liquid gels; which is all I take.  I have osteo-arthritis and suffer from a lot of pain from a damage sciatica. If I don't take something, I don't move.  I haven't been exercising and my eating hasn't been completely healthy. I chalk this up to depression and medication related to trying to have a baby.  My nut told me to come to the next break-out session, talk to her so she can set me back on  the program. She was very understanding and even told me that this is the time to get it together. Mike and I are going to resume our exercise routine (we are moving this week however) and get back on track with eating and hopefully better sleeping patterns. (actually I'm the one with the sleeping problems, not him) We're (Mike and I) also going to write up a contract and sign it together, committing ourselves to getting back on track and make this surgery work for us.  I'm also going to be seeing my surgeon on the 7th of July (he's on vacation right now) and ask him if he'll take a look at my pouch to see if I've damaged it and if so what I can do to get it back to good standing.  I still have the same insurance, but haven't gone as far as to find out what they're policy is on reworking of the pouch. I'm praying they're compliant to anything I need.  I read your posts when I check in and I know you've been through some tough stuff this last year. Don't blame yourself for the weight gain or what is going on, stop that--it's not productive.  My advice, (and I know you didn't ask for it) is to get in touch with your clinic and follow through with what they set up for you. They are there to support you through good and the bad. If you'd like my phone number, please PM me and I'll send it to you and together we can get through this, since it sounds like we're in the same boat.  I'm sending you tons of hugs and I'm here if you need me.  Just rememeber, there was a time in our lives when we would have not even taken a glance at any weight gain. Now, we are aware of each and every pound taken off and put on; which to me spells out that we can succeed with making this surgery work for us.  Love ya girl,  ~Dee

Aww, Dee darlin, u know I love ya.  Call me anytime. I think I posted my number on this.  This is a copy of what I sent RigthWeigh in hopes they'll forward on to Dr Shina. I know they will.  Adam had his vasectomy reversed but as of yet no live fish.  I don't let that get me down anymore though. I just feel that if it's meant to be, it'll be.  I am so scared I've stretched my pouch and all the ibprophen I took after our accident damage my stomach.  My chest and throat constantly burn sometimes. I'm going to call Holly Wed or Thurs. Tomorrow I think they're busy with seminars and patients Wed. But I'll leave her a voice mail.  U call me anytime. I'm usually up till 10pm or so. We'll get back to where we need to be. I haven't been on here as much lately. I've gotten away from the support on here. With losing Gracie this year, then my aunt (my second momma) finding out she had cancer, it's a wonder I'm not a basketcase. But my aunt is recovering well from surgery last Friday. She is going to be ok, so now it's time for me to get back on track to where I need to be. Bless u and Michael both.   Love u guys bunches Ange

Thank you Angela,  I know you too have been through so much and I'm sorry to hear about your niece and aunt. However, it's good news your aunt is recovering after surgery. Perhaps this is a silver lining giving hope for a better year for you and your family.  I'm doing alright, just really creeped out about the weight gain, but I have been putting off trying to find out what's wrong with me.  I've been having such fatigue issues for a long time now and when I was told I was depressed from the ovulation medicine, I figured I'd give the anitdepressants a chance. I'm still fatigued and have hunger issues, but the depression (safe to say) is under control; I don't feel depressed at all)

I'm not giving up hope though, because I knew what it meant to have this surgery and I made a commitment to do what ever it takes to make it work. If for some reason there's a physical reason for the surgery not working for me, then I'll do what I can to fix that too.  We're going to get through this, mark my words; you, me, and Mike. We're strong people and we're determined to be successful.  I also think this is good to post out here on the boards, so people who are contemplating the surgery or just recently had it, know it's not a bed of roses to make this surgery work and/or this surgery be an easy solution to obesity. It's something we constantly have to be aware of and willing to use the tool properly or if anything, make sure the tool is working properly.  I go tomorrow to my breakout session and I'll post more then with an update to what my nut tells me. I'm actually looking forward to moving into our new house (yes, house!) and getting a new fresh start to getting back into gear with weight loss.  I'll call you sometime soon, not tonight as it's late already, and we'll talk and give each other idea's.  You take care,  ~Dee

We're going to get through this, mark my words; you, me, and Mike. We're strong people and we're determined to be successful.  I also think this is good to post out here on the boards, so people who are contemplating the surgery or just recently had it, know it's not a bed of roses to make this surgery work and/or this surgery be an easy solution to obesity. It's something we constantly have to be aware of and willing to use the tool properly or if anything, make sure the tool is working properly Amen to that!  We will get thru this. Determination is a huge part of it and will power.  I misplaced my will power but I've got a good idea about where it's at.  Call me anytime. I just got sis to sleep so I'm probably heading that way myself. I've gotten lazy with Allison being in Kindergarten this year. Getting up early kicks my butt lol.  Congrats on the house! We moved out of our apt almost 3 yrs ago and into this one and I am so happy. I love it. I love planting my garden, my roses, sitting out on the front porch swing at night. U guys take care and I'll be looking for your updates. Love Ange

Hey Dee, how are ya doing?  Just wanted to check back in with ya.