husband's worries

I don't have a surgery date yet, and my husband is very supportive of me having this done, but he fears that our relationship is going to change once I start losing weight. I keep telling him nothing is going to change. Has anybody else had to deal with these concerns? If so is there any advice to make him understand that he is stuck with me fat or skinny? Stacey

I think what he is feeling is perfectly normal, Is he insecure for some reason ? Sometimes that makes them worry even more, I am sure he will be fine and once he sees how happy you are he will be just as happy.Good luck to you. Missy

Missy, He is a wonderful man, and he does have reason to be insecure. This is both of our second marriages and we both lived with infidelity and lies, so I guess that could be part of the reason he thinks the way he does. Thanks for the luck and any other advice you can give. Stacey

Youre welcome...best of luck to you .Let me know when you get your surgery date. Missy

Stacey, From going to support meetings I found that there is a large divorce/seperation rate resulting from this surgery. I just had my surgery this week but I have been married for 24 yrs. I am 59 and he is 69 and he has told me that he will be able to deal with it. I hope it works out good for you and for me, LOL  Seriously, my advice would be for you to reassure him everyday that you wont leave him after you get thin. It has to be hard on a man's ego. Afterall, he has been married to a woman whom is heavy which means she isnt being looked at by every man but will change after the weight loss. As they say, it's a change for the rest of our lives. Judy  

well not to scare u from having the surgery because it will help your life no matter what-- mine did - ive lost 228lbs in 8 months so far BUT it has changed my life with my wife of  20 years--i feel so different now- i cant say this will happen to you because no one knows --just know that this is a problem and stuff