Need To Vent!!!!!

I am almost 6 months post op and everything that could happen, has happened to me. Everyone has told me that if there is a slight possibility that it could happen, it would happen to me. I had my surgery in April. Went back to the hospital four days later with terrible pain. They still don't know what was wrong. Had my gall bladder removed in July and have been in the hospital twice in August with dehydration and low potassium. Now to top things off, I have an ugly ulcer!!!!! Since I was so dehydrated and mal nourished, I now have a PICC Line and I am receiving nutrition through that. I am getting the nutrition I need, but have gained 8 pounds!!!! My doctor told me each bag contains 2000 calories. That is more than I was eating in a month. I know this what I need, but as of last week, I am miserable. I have been dry heaving and puking. My stomach and chest are once again killing me and I am having to rely on pain meds to get through the day. I hate pain meds. They make me feel so out of it, but sometimes the pain in unbearable. We are waiting to see if this ugly ulcer heals, but the way I have been feeling, it is not. I just want to get this thing cut out of me so I can get on with my life. The holidays will be here before we know it and I want to enjoy them. My daughter thinks that I have morphed into some kind of monster. I am always feeling crummy. She even said to me the other night, "you use to be the cool mom. All my friends love you and wanted to come to our house to hang out, but you are sick all the time". It broke my heart. I use to say that I would do this surgery over again, but I am now beginning to doubt that. I know that once I am over all of this, it was the best decision that I could have made. A lot of the physical problems I had due to my weight have disappeared and I am truly grateful, but I feel like I am replacing one set of problems with others. Dr. Geller and Cheryl have been fabulous!!!! Despite all my "bumps in the road", I know Dr. Geller is the best and I trust him with my life. If I have to ever have surgery again, I would not have anyone else but him. He is the best!!!! Well, thanks for letting me vent. I do feel better. For all those pre and post op, please don't let this deter you. This surgery is a life saver and will enable you to do things you have dreamed about. There are so many days that I have WOW moments and I am thankful for this tool that I have been blessed enough to received. I know deep down if it were not for me having this surgery, I would have been dead in a year, but I think I have paid my dues (LOL) and it is time for me to feel better. -Ana-

I am so sorry you've had trouble.I hope you can feel better soon and not be sick.Many prayers

Ana, I said a little prayer for you last night, because I feel so bad that you're feeling bad. I want you to feel what I feel and feel confident that you made the right decision with your surgery. I realize that things are difficult for you right now, but keep the faith that it will get better for you. Keep a strong will to survive and to have better health; mind over matter can make a huge difference. Vent away here, that is what this place is for. I think that we all have done some venting here one time or another; I know I have. (several times ) You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers and please keep us updated on your progress. If you're up to it and feel like an email friend, please feel free to email me. Take care hon-- Dee

Ana, I am so sorry to hear that you are having so many setbacks! I haven't had my surgery yet. (Lap-Band) But, I was wondering??? Since you are receiving 2000 calories -- are you doing any more exercising or walking to make up for the extra calories? Or, do you even feel like it? It doesn't have to be anything strenuous. Just a pleasant walk or something around the yard a few times a day. And, another thing -- those pain pills will constipate you too!! So, you may be experiencing that due to them, also. Can the hospital cut your calories down?? I mean, only give you what you are required to have?? You might ask them. But, try to focus on the good things. I know that is hard to do when you are so miserable and in pain, but it may help. Do lose sight of your goal. And, it has taken away some of your other medical problems. And, you may have had these problems even if you didn't have the surgery. (Like an ulcer and chronic pain due to something else.) I would be venting right now too. I'm not a very patient person. But, just letting it out sometimes makes us feel better. Just take it one day at a time, and keep a journal. You will look back at it someday and say.......the things I went through to get this far! LOL I hope you get to feeling better soon!! I will pray for you. Hugs, Sharee