Has your personality changed?

Hi Kathy, I am a patient advocate and the biggest supporter of this surgery. The one thing that I tell people is they need to be compliant after this surgery to be successful..then I think what exactly is compliant? my definition is getting to know, understand and care about YOU...find your triggers, find you weaknesses..then think about how you can overcome all of them..yes, even the food addiction. Don't get me wrong I am not perfect, not for a minute. But no one is.. I am 3 years out..I weighed over 300 lbs at one time. I have kept my weight down and at times I feel myself slipping, then I stand back and ask myself again why I had this surgery and how it made me feel every day being obese. I was very sick and unhealthy, not only medically but emotionally as well. Yep, I laughed and smiled too but I was so unhappy deep down. I wanted to do things with my daughter, I wanted to be able to walk around the mall (something I never did with her) I wanted to ride a horse, (something I do frequently)...I look back at pictures of me, I am going to find a way to add them to my profile ..I hated the way I felt and looked. I had lost some weight by my sons wedding but my dress was a 24...I was so depressed about how I looked..My biggest worry after that is that I would look the same for my daughters wedding, She just got married in July and my dress was a 12..after my plastic surgery I hopefully will be wearing a 10 ..I can't wait!! When it came to holidays even today I don't miss that type of food..I sit back and watch others eat and think..OIY..did I eat like that? I can honestly say there are times I see them stuffing and it almost makes me ill. I am probably the only one sitting around the table that isn't about to explode!! LOL I take my plate of holiday turkey or ham, I make deviled eggs and a nice salad..I have good healty food rather than the junk...I find myself wanting to pitch in and do things for everyone else because of my new found energy, I don't have the time to eat anyway..and never has anyone drawn attention to my lack of eating..Why? because it's what I "want" not what I "have" to do..I look at myself as a health food eater now..not someone who is forced to never eat again..that's hogwash!! Someone made the statement to me once right after a seminar..He could not go through with the surgery because he has to feel "normal"...NORMAL???? I can promise you I am more normal today then I was at 310lbs..and much more normal than he was sitting there so miserable...I wanted to put my arms around him and try to explain how much healthier and happier he would be...not to mention how much longer his life will be if he had this surgery. I have no idea what happened to the man, but I do think of him and worry about him often. There have been times someone will say to me "can you eat that"..are you "allowed" to eat that..my reply..I can eat whatever I want..I "choose" not to eat it. Hang in there the ride is an emotional one at times, I won't lie to you...but I promise the end results are well worth.. The surgery isn't for everyone..don't think you can have this surgery and not do what you need to be healthy..that is what "compliance" is all about.. Follow the rules of the pouch and you will do great!! If you do not have support at home or with friends, ask the docs office..maybe there is someone there who will be there for you, someone who can talk to your family..I do that quite often and it's surprising how people react when I tell them I am 3 yrs out..and loving life!! ok that's my soap box for the day.. Good luck!! Brenda

I find myself becoming more hopeful. I have told my parents that I'm going for surgery. At first they were supportive. My mother said she be there all the way. But, when I got an actual surgery date, that all changed. She told me that she thinks I'm making a very big mistake and that she doesn't want anything more to do with afterwards. (because she doesn't want to eat a full meal while I can only have a "1/4 cup" of water) My father has told me that I'm putting my life in danger for another failure in my life. (thanks dad) I can't stop them from feeling the way that they do. I have to live my life for what I think is best for me. I love my parents, but I'm really angry at them right now. My hubby even mentioned to me today that he can't believe how awful they're being toward the both of us right now. I don't care. It's their life too and I can't make them live any certain way than they can me. I have so many dreams and aspirations in my life; things that I want to do with my husband and things I want to do by myself. I think it's an excellent idea to carry a measuring cup around with you. In fact, I think it's something that I'll will do myself, so thank you for the idea. I wish you much success and happiness. By the way, I am almost positive you will be so busy celebrating the new you, you won't have time to mourn the food you aren't eating anymore. Good luck and take care-- Dee

De, I'm sorry to hear that your parents are not on your side right now. But, I wouldn't think much of it. They are just scared. You will go through these emotional rollercoasters too. But, don't let anyone change your mind. Do what YOU want to do. They will see that you will be fine and once they see you are going to be okay, they will change their feelings. Just hang in there and don't get down. Maybe the need some information (pamphlets or something) to explain the process to them. (Or, have you done that already? Some of the testimonials would be great for them to read. Kind of leave out the risks involved, since you know they are already worrying about that. I'm sure that's all they are focused on at the moment.) But, trust me, once they see you making progress and see how happy you are and doing the things you used to do and always wanted to do, they will be happy for you too!! Parents are supposed to worry and they will try anythng to talk us out of doing something that might hurt us, or put us at risk. Just keep praying for them to understand, and I will be praying for all of you. Remember, family is very precious, so just hold back for now and just see what happens. I know it's hard to bite out tongues sometimes, but in this case. I think it is just fear of the unknown. (Also, if they can't get through to you, they will use someone else they love to do it. So tell hubby I'm sure everything will be fine. Just hang in there.) My mom was this way for a little while -- not mean, but just trying to give me the negatives. But, I've turned her around, so...I hope yours will turn around for you too. Mine was just scared. I set her down and had a one on one with her and she understands now. And, I gave her the packets I received at the seminars and the doctors office. I even printed some of the testimonials and pictures and showed her too. It helped her extremely. That dosen't mean she isn't still scared, because I am too!! But, my life will only go down hill, if I DON'T have the surgery. Good luck to you and God Bless! Big Hug to you!!! (I'm here if you need me!) Sharee

Hi Kathy, as for my personailty changes, its all for the better. I used to pretend to be happy and outgoing around others. I used to pretend to like myself. Now I do. I am more confident. Well, I now have confidence. I am happy. I am outgoing. I am outspoken at times, according to my hubby, lol. Right after surgery its normal to have a little depression. I had it bad the week right after my surgery, I had surgery around Easter, my hubby brought our daughters Easter candy to the hospital. Sometimes the head hunger right after surgery bothered me bad, but I am now a year and half out and happier than I've ever been. Its just so amazing. That little measuring cup might not look like much, but if u eat small bites, slowly it will fill u up. I promise. The first month is always the hardest, u r recovering from major surgery, getting used to what u can eat, what u can't. Trying to get all your liquids in. Just take it easy, learn about your new pouch and take one day at a time and remember your OH family is always here. My post op depression didn't last a day or so. I can't express how this wonderful tool has totally changed my life, my outlook on food and eating. I thank God daily I was allowed to have this surgery. Yes, I've changed. Some might not say for the better but now that I have confidence I don't let people run over me. I am proud of me now. I love me now! U take care and u do have the best Dr in the world. Dr Shina is the bestest! So's Holly, lol! Hugs Ange Toni Stewart from here is having her surgery with Dr Shina on Oct 19, if yours is on the 20th I will have to try and run up to Suburban that afternoon to see u both! Take care and this is an amazing, life changing journey! Enjoy every min of it, I still am!