I need a big hug!

Today has been one of those days for me. My hubby is in one of those moods to where anything I say or do is wrong and it seems that he just wants to fight about every thing. He found out today that he has arthritis. He's 39 and done factory work most of his adult life. The dr told him that its pretty normal that he has arthritis and put him on some meds for it. He has just been so mean today and over stuff like my wls that he has always been 100 % supportative of me. He made the comment while waiting on his prescriptions to be filled that he, some nurses at the dr's office were talking about me. I said, well, what did they say? He said oh well, u know, that u look great but thats what you'd expect now "that u have taken the lazy, easy way out and lost this weight instead of with diet and exercise." Then he said " I know u could have lost it with diet and exercise if u really wanted too." I was so mad and hurt I was bawling all over Walmart. Then he told me its my fault that are daughter is overweight for her age. I am sorry, I'm venting. I'm just hurt and needed a shoulder or two to cry on. He is normally nothing like this and he has always supported me in my wls. He's never said anything remotely like what he said today and maybe thats why it hurt so bad. I have begged him to let me get a job after my panni/hernia repair on 9/8 but he said with daycare prices, filling up both vehicles each week it just wouldn't be worth it. So, I gave in. Now today I hear that I need to get off my selfish, lazy butt and get a job. Ok, I am telling myself that it will do no good to flare up at him cause he's in one of those moods where he wants to fight and I'll just get my feelings hurt worse than they've been hurt today. He's been off his Lipitor for a week cause he didn't have refills till today, would that do this? I mean, its a cholestrol med would not having it mess with his nerves? Needless to say I am not having the cookout I was going to have this Saturday. Tomorrow will be a better day. I just needed to get this out and I can't do it to him, he wants to argue. Thanks Ange

Awwwww hon im so sorry. You and I and everyone know that this definately isnt the easy way out. Food is an addiction..... Someone told me at one point... surgery can get rid of the first 50 lbs but after that its up to you. I so believe this. I work my butt off to lose what I have lost. I know I am fairly recently post op but still its work. People just dont understand and especially if they have never had a weight issue before. My sister in law is a size 2 and always has been and she gave me tons of grief about having the surgery and not excersizing and such. She has no clue at all and its irritating. I am sorry to hear about your hubbys diagnosis today... thats rough but its no excuse to be a sh*t about it. Tomorrow is another day and I hope its better for you than today was. Sending hugs your way!!!

Thanks! U r so right, unless someone has been overweight they have no clue about how it is. I am sorry he found out he has arthritis but this happens. Alot of people have it. After being MO for years I probably will have if not already. At least its nothing life threatening. Oh well. When he cools off I am going to show him my post and the responses so he can see how he actually hurt me and how he made me feel.

Thats a good idea. Men just dont think before they open their mouths... it drives me crazy. I will give Joel some credit though... he's been super supportive alot the past couple months... a big change from b4 my surgery. He wouldnt give me any of his thoughts on the surgery but now he gets excited to shop for me and with me. He gets excited over the WOW moments with me. He has definately noticed the change and he's great with it. You are exactly right... it could be worse... it can always be worse. Atleast it wasnt something life threatening..... Once he gets over being mad about it I am sure he will realize that it could have been something far worse than what it is. Good luck darlin!

Hugggsssss going to Sarah, tomorrow will be better.

Wish I was there to give you a big hug and flick your husband in the head. He's directing anger at you that you don't deserve. Wonder what is behind it? Maybe he sees you getting healthier and in better shape and because he had no worries about your attractiveness before he's feeling threatened. Just a thought. As far as the b*tches at the doctors office. I hope their a$$es swell up and they waddle for the rest of their lives..... Not really but kind of.... I'm so sick of people and their mightier than thou attitudes. It just makes me so mad. And your husband needs to repent for not standing up for you. I can't imagine that he isn't feeling horrible for acting this way. Although until he's ready to tell you why he's being a butt you may not get an apology. I am so sorry this is going on. Try to let it pass over you. It's not you. There has to be something else going on. Takecare Kathyw

I think part of it is because he's mad cause he has to work overtime Friday night. He chose last week to buy some power tools and it took away from what I put back each week for our monthly house payment. In order to get back on track he has to do some O/T. That was fine last week when he wanted new drills, grinders, whatever now the time has come to do it and he doesn't want too. Oh well. He'll get over it. I'm thinking on looking into this thing where those girls said all that. Its not right. They've always been little and they have no clue what my life is like and how hard its been since surgery. Heck yes, I had wls and this tool has helped me lose over 170 pounds in the last yr & a half. I am pretty dang proud of that and they don't want to mess with me on that. I love them both to pieces but this isn't too nice or right.

(((((((((((Angela))))))))))) I don't have much to offer, except to say maybe your hubby was just having a bad day with the news and all. From what I've read in your profile, he has been most supportive, perhaps the news with the doc, missed meds, and other factors just set him off. I'm sorry you were in his line of fire; it's not fair really. Consider showing him this thread and let him read how much his words hurt you. If he still maintains that WLS is the easy way out, then put him on phaseI diet and let him see just how easy it is! (TTTTTTAAAAAAWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDAAAA ) I'm sure that tomorrow is going to be better and who knows, maybe he'll realize what a big poo-poo head he was and offer to do the housework in nothing but your apron. (oh you don't own an apron?---Better!! ) Hugs sweetie, try not to let this upset you too much-- Dee

LoL thanks Dee!