I don't know what to think

Here I am less than 12 hours from my arrival time at the hospital and I haven't been nervous hardly at all today. Actually, I can't remember one minute that I was nervous. I'm not excited either. I'm just "solemn" feeling. It's been such a busy day. My husband found the receipt on the fridge that broke down. I FINALLY got hold of the repair dept who gave me the service # to call in the morning. Hubby will probably do that while I'm getting ready to go. Went to church this morning and enjoyed it so much. Wonderful preaching. Went to Wal-Mart yet again for sipper cups. One fellow commented in the Nutrition Seminar that he had his baby plate and spoon, he might as well get his sippy cup. It was cute. I'm not really sure why a sippy cup? Unless it keeps us from sipping too much at once? I dunno. They did mention the smell of the protein drinks may sicken us a bit without even knowing if we will be able to tolerate the taste. We'll see. I got my new undies for the hospital (maternity to accommodate the cath and the 'female thing' I've been told we'll most likely have to deal with) and my gown in the dryer. Trying to get as much done here so my hubby and daughter won't have it to do OR I won't have as much waiting for ME when I get home. By the way, it seems kinda unfair that we have to deal with that "female thing" and men don't, doesn't it? BUT when you think about the man having to get that cath, OUCH! I actually wished it was only us women. I'm too soft-hearted, I think. I just don't know why they can't pee in a picture thing like some hospitals do when they're there for other reasons. Okay, I have a couple of things to do before I can relax. Oh, and can you believe it? I have NOT EVEN got my bag completely packed yet. I'm taking my Bible so I can do some quiet time reading and the Chess board so hubby and I can play some when he's visiting. I've thought long and hard about telling my mom. IF I don't tell her and something goes wrong, she will feel terrible that she wasn't there for/with me. IF I DO tell her, I'm in for ONE HUGE lecture probably. If I don't tell her and everything's fine, she'll never need know. Decisions, decisions. I'm not planning to tell her. I made my decision when I first decided to do this and I sure don't need to second guess myself now. My reasons are sound and were thought through. No reason to change my mind now just because my time is almost here and I want MAMA TO HOLD MY HAND. Speaking of my time, my surgery is scheduled for 11... just 13 hours away. WOW! OKAY, A LITTLE EXCITEMENT FINALLY HIT ME AGAIN! Gale

Good luck to you Gale, it sounds like you have everything under control. I will be thinking about you. Be sure to let us know when you get home. --Angela

I am waaaaaaaaay late, (sent you some well wishes and prayers today 06-06) but wanted to say thank you for posting this post, because I think it's important to read how we feel before this operation, so the thoughts we do have, let us know we aren't alone. Anyhoot--take care and be well-- Dee