OT: Visitation Laws in Ky?

Ok first of all I know that each state probably has different vistation rights (laws) I just want your alls opinions on this situation with Adams ex over our son. Ok, Adam and I have been married for almost 7 yrs. The first 3 1/2 yrs of our marriage we got to see James our son mostly every other weekend, providing we drove 3 hours to the town where they live to pick him up and bring him back. Then she started not letting us have James. Of course, we got an attorney and set up regular vistation rights. I don't know if this makes a difference in the rights part of it, but Adam has paid her child support since she left him over 7yrs ago. He didn't legally have to pay until we got visitation rights. We set it up then to where it comes out of his paycheck every week so that the money he pays her counts as child support. Ok, I am off topic. Visitation. We got an attorney, set it up to where she would have to meet us halfway every other weekend. We're supposed to get him one night a week but we live so far away that that is impossible. Of course, if he has a band trip, school trip or goes on vacation with his mom then we sometimes skip our weekend. He is 12 now and has school things he likes to do. Last summer we gave up part of our summer break with him so that he could pay softball till his season was over. We're supposed to get him spring breaks, every other Christmas break. Well, once again the end of the school year is upon us. Tonight we drove down to get him at the meeting spot and she started a public spat, well they did while I was in the bathroom about how we wouldn't be getting James but for 4 weeks this year because she got him a job at her work. She had not discussed this with my husband and I think she should have because he is the dad, he has joint custody and just as many rights as her. Our attorney is out until Monday morning so I can't call and see if she can legally keep James from Adam for part of his summer break. Adam still pays child support even when James is with us durning the summer. I had a copy of Ky's visitation laws but can't find them tonight of course. I know in the divorce papers it states that Adam is supposed to be able to see James when ever he wants as long as it doesn't interfere with school. We have always had James for his summer break and if he wants to earn some summer cash then he can here. Adam was pretty upset down there. He and his ex can't talk with out smarting off at one another and this is the first time she's talked to us in 2 months, shes been pouting cause we wouldn't give her extra money on top of child support for some crap. Anyone know anything about visitations? I am going to call the attorney Monday to request another copy of Kys visitation stuff, but if any of u know anything tonight I would appreciate hearing it. Adam is pretty upset and irritated. He gets to see his son every other weekend and misses him like crazy when he's not here. She has him for the school year and sees him alot more than we do. It shouldn't be like this, they shouldn't argue over James. For years we had him all summer, she didn't want him. He would cry to visit her but she didn't want to be bothered with him. We offered to let him go home to her every other weekend but she didn't want him and now she wants to take away part of our summer with him. We still would take him for a weekend visit with her everyother weekend cause he loves his mom. I don't know. I am confused and she irriates me too but I try to be civil because she is his mom and he loves her. Thoughts and opinion greatly appreciated. Hugs Ange

Ange, First of all....if he is only 12 then I think it may be illegal for him to be working, I guess it depends on where he is working and how many hours a week he works. I know my little brother will be 15 next week and he was turned down for a summer tutoring job at one of the local high schools because he wasnt 16. You may want to check into that part and if she is trying to work the child illegally...then she has no leg to stand on about keeping him from you all because of a job. My brother goes through basically the same bull crap with his ex....my little nephew is torn to pieces...there are times when he just wants to go to his grannys house because my brother and his ex argue over who is getting him when and for how long......my brother is suppose to get him every weekend from 6pm friday to 6pm sunday.....then they rotate holiday vacation and he is suppsoe to get him for 6 weeks in the summer.....its a mess....i understand how frustrated you are because I get frustrated with the two of them fighting like they do....I dont know about your situation...but with my brother...he and his ex both instigate the arguing....if it isnt one starting it, then its the other one....of course my brothers ex has been married 4 times since they divorced 6 years ago...he is worried about my nephew being subjected to that kind of life.....you truly never know who his ex will be pulling up in the car with her......its all crazy...but check in on the job rules and that may help you....hope all works out for you all... Rosanna

Wow, that sounds like Adams ex. lol Its sad the way some people do their kids. She has calmed down and been with the same guy for 3 yrs now, she used to be that way. Always someone different. Adam talked it over with James and tried to find out what he wants to do and I think he is going to spend 2 weeks with us out of June, then 2 weeks with us in July. He wants to help his mom at her job so he can make extra money this summer. Adam was upset last night because she started smarting off and cussing at him instead of trying to be civil and discuss this situation rationally. Adam knows James is 12 now, he's older, theres is things he wants to do and usually if its something James wants to do then Adam is understanding about it, but when she tells Adam whats going to happen instead of talking about it, he gets miffed. Oh well. Angela

Kentucky Law is" Visitation is not reliant upon Child Support, nor is child support reliant upon Visitation." Having said that, if he is 12, unless it is a family owned business he cannot work unless he is working under the table so to speak. Also if he is working, that jacks up his moms income which would reduce your husbands child support responsibility. A really nasty lawyer (I plan on being one) would have a field day with that situation.

i recently went thru this child support thing with my son. At the time, his now ex wife was working and making two hundred dollars a month. My son's child support was 13 dollars a week more than it would have been if she had not been working. Both lawyers also told us that if EITHER parent made 600 dollars more a month in the future that HIS child support would go UP because the mom's income would raise their "standard of living". It does not go down but goes up . Right now their mom is not working, his hours have been cut, his wife is off work from cancer surgery and he already is getting his child support lowered. A big factor was that the mom is not working. So it is going down.

One thing with the child support I don't fully understand is this, even when we have James for the summer the child support still automatically comes out of his check each week when James is up here. Before he legally had to pay child support, he paid her weekly from the time she left till 3 yrs later when we got visitation rights set up and went on and set up legal child support thru the state that way he can claim him on his taxes every other year. She claimed him the first few years cause what he paid her wasn't considered child support. We also used to buy all of his school clothes and supplies each year before he went home from our summer. Now that she still gets child support when he's with us in the summer, we don't buy the clothes or supplies. We do buy him stuff but not on the same scale as we did. Adam talked with James this weekend and they worked it out to where Adam feels James will be happier. He is 12 now and Adam says he understand how James might want to earn a few dollars this summer. From what they said, James will be spending the first 2 weeks of each month with us and then 2 with his mom until school starts. He's not going to be legally working for this guy, she drives a tow truck I think, but helping her and supposedly she will pay him for helping or her boss will pay him ca****s sounds shady to me but I am just a stepmom and if I push Adam to make James stay up here for the whole summer I look like the bad guy. James calls me mom and we have always gotten along good. He was 5 when I met and married Adam, they were already split up when I started dating him. He's always been mine. The only thing he and I butt heads on is he likes to listen to rap music at his moms and she lets him. We don't. A couple of weeks ago he was in the garage working on his go cart and Adam let him turn it on. I found out and put a halt to it. I just think theres enough disrespect between some parents and kids without listening to music that has sex and really bad words all over it. Of course I am rabbling again. My point, James and I get along good. Except for the rap, its not allowed. If I push the whole summer thing with Adam and I could do it, that might make James resent me. If he and Adam are satisfied with what they worked out then I am. His mom just likes to make these sorts of decisions with out asking Adam about it and then telling Adam whats happening instead of asking. They can't get along for nothing. When we took James home last night, well back to the meeting spot, I got in the car when she pulled up. I already had a headache and just didn't want to hear her mouth. She smarted off about him staying 2 weeks here, 2 there, but they kept talking and she finally was ok with it. Its hard when they can't talk civilly to one another. Most of the time she and I can talk but shes been mad at us and her mouth just gets on my last nerve at times. I try most of the time to be calm and civil but if my nerves are frayed already I just try to sit it out. Thanks for your thoughts and hope u make a great lawyer.... Or should I say a really nasty one? Ange

Angela, if he is twleve and mature or at least as mature as a regular twelve year old, the court will let him decide where he wants to live if you ever go to court. We are just waiting for the magical number on my son's kids. they already know they want to live with their dad but according to the lawyer they have to be at least twelve and maybe fourteen to decide on their own.

Hey Delores, he is a mommas boy and Adam doesn't want to take full custody of him because no matter what we think of her, he loves his mom. Adam just gets aggravated when she trys to boss him around or make decisions concerning James without talking it over with Adam first. Most of the time, if James wants to do something else when its time for him to come up for a weekend or whatever he or his mom will call and say that there is something like a band trip or a trip to his maternal grandmas, etc that he wants to do and most of the time Adam is fine with that. Friday night she was just being herself and running her mouth first instead of saying, is there someway to work out something since James really wants to do this? If she had done that to start with instead of threatening Adam then there probably wouldn't have been a big flare up over it. Oh well. She and Adam both have their smart mouth moments. For James's sake, I try to keep the peace between them.