the wait part 2

it's one week til the big day. i'm still not nervous or scared, but i am depressed. not from the usual things one would think, but from the fact that i had to shave my beard off. i've had this beard in one form or another for twenty years, but the nurse anes. said it had to come off to help the mask fit better. i can understand this, but when he wanted me to shave my mustache off as well. that is were i drew the line. i also cut off my ponytail for convence reasons. and that is nearly as depressing. now i look like all my yuppy friends and family. hell you can't be caught dead on a harley looking like this. so as soon as i get the all clear the beard and the hair are coming back. so there nenn............. but i'm still determined to go through with this and get a new life started.

NO for real,,, this surgery is alot of giving up on who you have been for so long. As for me I know I have been overweight for so long I am not sure how to feel about soon becoming a thin person again. That in it's self is stressful and somewhat depressing losing part of your idenity. Then to top it all off you want you to change your completely outter apperance? wow that would be hard. I guess the way to look at it now is that it will be for the best and you can alway grow back the hair and beard, but taking care of the health issues is something really big that you might not have another chance at? Anyway keeping you in my prayers for a safe trip here and a even safer surgery. Bekha ps what day are you coming into town?